


Made For You

by holls



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Bucky Barnes Feels, De-Aged Bucky Barnes, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Evil Corporations, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Medical Experimentation, Mpreg, Multi, Polyamory, Porn, Protective Steve Rogers, Protective Tony Stark, Threesome - M/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-26
Updated: 2019-04-28
Packaged: 2019-12-18 04:46:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 60,810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18242663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/holls/pseuds/holls
Summary: Upon hearing that his only son was gay, Howard Stark set out to make him a perfect mate, one that would still mean the Stark name was being passed on. Fourteen years later, it was almost time for them to meet, but Steve Rogers, the man hired by Stark to watch over his experiment, isn't going to let anyone hurt his new friend.





	1. Employee of the Month

**Author's Note:**

> Beta'ed by the awesome Kaitlyn T.

It was just after ten in the morning, a sunny Tuesday in the middle of June, and Steve had no idea where his day was taking him. He’d gotten up at five as usual and made his bed the way he liked it before going for a long run. A shower, shave, and quick breakfast later, he took his protein shake with him for the bus ride to work. Finally getting to the office, he and his messenger bag went through security before moving on to his office, opening it with his badge before stepping inside. Ready to go to the break room and get a coffee to start his day, Steve turned to leave his office again. And that’s when it had all started to get weird. 

Sitting inside a small, driverless, blue vehicle that he’d mentally nicknamed the Stark Cart, Steve moved through the Stark compound, his messenger bag on the empty seat. Jennifer from HR had just told him that someone had wanted to talk to him, and he was to report to another human resources employee at the end of this ride. He wasn’t sure what this was about, as as much as he told himself to stop freaking out and enjoy the ride, it wasn’t quite working. 

He couldn’t think of anything he’d done wrong, everyone at work seemed to like him, he hadn’t been inappropriate with someone, all the clients had given him good reviews. Jennifer herself had told him that he was one of the best employees on the customer care team. Though, the more he thought about it, the more he realized it wouldn’t make any sense to send him to the other side of the Stark compound to be fired. He was pretty sure he was heading where the labs were, but he wasn’t nearly qualified to work there, so he knew it wasn’t for a consultation. 

He had no idea where he was heading, he didn’t know exactly who he was supposed to talk to, he just knew that the cart was going to come to a stop and things would be “handled” from there. And something about that term made this seem even stranger. As the car drove down to the end of a hall, it turned into a small bay just before the door at the end, pulling into the only vacant spot. Not sure what to do now, he got out of the car and stood beside it, but he wasn’t going to have to wait long. 

“Mr. Rogers,” Stepping out of the door was a tall woman in her fifties, her hair and clothing impeccable and screaming business. In her hands was a Stark tablet, her hand dancing over the surface for a moment before closing it, offering Steve her hand and a smile. “My name is Rebecca Carr, head of human resources here at Stark Industries.”

“Nice to meet you, Ms. Carr,” Steve said, shaking her hand, his nerves kicking up a bit. 

“You must be so curious as to why you’re here. Come, follow me,” Ms. Carr said, using her pass to open the door, walking down a hall, not turning to look back to Steve until she came to a door with a placard beside it that said ‘Conference Rm. #3’. Flipping the sign down, she pressed her thumb against it, closing it back up when she heard the door unlock. Opening it, she motioned for Steve to walk inside, revealing a rather plain room that pretty much looked like the conference room the client care team used for their meetings. 

Jumping a little when the door closed, Steve nervously fiddled with the strap of his bag as a thought occurred to him. The door closing, now that was different, this one was much heavier, and Steve could hear the click of the lock. He wasn’t even sure if the meeting room locked, and now that he had a moment to look around, this room was definitely different. There were no windows, no plants, no water cooler, and Steve was pretty sure there was a camera in the corner. 

“Please, have a seat,” Ms. Carr said, taking one herself at the head of the table. “Before we begin, we’re going to have to ask you to sign a contract.” 

“A contract? For what? I don’t even know what I’m doing,” Steve said, taking the closest seat to her, though he did pull it back a bit further. 

“It’s nothing much. It mostly states that if you repeat anything said in this room, you will lose your job, and be sued for breach of contract,” Ms. Carr said, bringing it up on her tablet, turning it so Steve could look it over. 

“Oh, I-seriously? I work in client care, I really think you have the wrong guy if you’re thinking of top secret, I just make sure clients are happy and-“ Steve shook his head, wide eyed, hoping this was all some weird mistake. “I don’t get why I’m here.”

“Mr. Rogers, we are definitely sure it’s you we want. You’re a good employee, you fit the job, you’ve got a clean record,” Ms. Carr said with a stiff smile, not taking her eyes off him. She wasn’t going to mention that it was also him being married that helped seal the deal. “If you choose not to sign the contract, you can leave now and the matter will be dropped, you can return to your old job. You don’t have to take this new job, but you must sign before I can tell you about it.” 

Looking at the stylus sitting next to the tablet, Steve thought it over for a moment. It wasn’t that he was completely attached to his job, he liked it, though he didn’t make as much as his wife, Peggy, but the benefits were great and it was a short commute. He had been hoping on a promotion soon, and a raise, so he could look into buying a nice hybrid car for himself. He was also wondering if he could ever pay for a place of his own. It wasn’t that he didn’t love Peggy, but he knew he was a much different person than he was when he married her after college. She deserved someone with a lot more passion for her, and he deserved to be happy. 

“…tell me about the job, please,” Steve said, picking up the stylus and signing his name on the tablet, pushing it back over towards Ms. Carr, hoping he was doing the right thing. 

“Excellent, Mr. Rogers,” Ms. Carr said, taking the tablet back, sending off the contract before opening Steve’s personnel file, selecting it so it appeared over the tablet for both of them to see. “You have an exemplary record here in your five years at Stark Industries. You have multiple notes in your file about excellent service, your problem solving skills are great, and you’ve never has so much as a complaint from your co-workers. You’re a star employee.” 

“I-thank you,” Steve said, stammering for a moment as his eyes looked over his file. “I just try to bring a good attitude and my best effort into everything I do.” 

“And that is precisely why you’re here,” Ms. Carr said, clearing her throat. “Mr. Rogers, this position is going to involve you keeping one person happy. You are going to provide them with company and stimulation, you’re going to cater to their needs, for which you’ll be given a company credit card, and you are going to keep us abreast in your interactions with the client. You must also be available twenty four seven for his needs. For this, we will be doubling your salary, giving you a company car, and you will need to move closer if you’re not within a five minute drive. We will help with that, of course.”

“All of that, just…for one client? Can I only call them from here?” Steve said, questioning a lot of what Ms. Carr was saying, but not wanting to sound like he was being too critical of the job opportunity. 

“The client is here on the premises, you’ll be dealing with them face to face,” Ms. Carr said, knowing that this was where it was going to be harder to keep Steve. “Your client is a young man, he’ll be eighteen in a few weeks, his name is James Barnes, and he lives here where we can monitor him. He’s very special, and we want him to be happy and comfortable, so we have a member of staff take care of his more social and emotional needs.”“O-ooh…” Steve blinked, a little surprised that they picked him to babysit a teenager. He used to babysit the boys next door growing up, but he had a feeling this was going to be very different. There had to be a catch to this, it all sounded too good to be true. “Where will I be doing this?” 

“If you accept the job, and we approve of you, we will show you where he is. You’ll also be given top level clearance for this division of the building, and you’ll be reporting to Howard Stark himself on occasions,” Ms. Carr said as she opened up another contract on her tablet to show Steve. “All we ask is that Mr. Barnes is never discussed outside of people with red star clearance. He must remain a secret for his own safety.” 

Steve turned to the contract, looking over the job description to see if there was anything Ms. Carr had neglected to mention. His eyes stopped when they hit something she hadn’t brought up yet, looking up at her curiously. “What does this mean? This part about his eighteenth birthday?” 

“That means he will be leaving here and moving on to his new home, where your services may still be required,” Ms. Carr said with a tight smile as Steve went back to reading the contract. “If you choose to end your employment when he turns eighteen, you will be rewarded handsomely for your silence in this matter. To put it lightly, you won’t ever need to worry about money again whichever path you choose.” 

Steve couldn’t believe what he was hearing. This job sounded amazing, but he was still looking for the catch. 

“What’s he like? If I go in there, is he going to tear my head off?” Steve asked, wondering if he was going to be a gigantic pain in the ass. “What makes him special exactly?” 

“The last person to have your job liked him, he called him Bucky, so he’ll probably ask you to as well. He’s prone to anger sometimes, but he’s never hurt anyone, he’s more quiet than anything really,” Ms. Carr said, not planning on answering the rest of the question, figuring Bucky would tell him if he really wanted him to know. “I do have a couple more questions for you before you sign.”

“Alright…” Steve said, still wondering about Bucky and what he was going to be like. “May I ask what happened to the last guy?” 

“Car accident, unfortunately,” Ms. Carr said casually, not mentioning that he was already dead when his car went into the river. “Mr. Rogers, this may seem forward and inappropriate, but I’m still going to ask you for a list of your sexual partners.” 

Steve’s eyebrows raised immediately, looking at the woman as if to ask if she was serious. When she didn’t even blink, he knew that she was waiting, and if he really wanted this, he better speak up. 

“Oh wow, uhm…” Steve cleared his throat, feeling horribly put on the spot. “A girlfriend in high school, then I met someone else in college before I met my wife, and…that’s it. May I ask why it’s relevant?” 

“Mr. Stark requested that I ask,” Ms. Carr said, not going any further. “Are you a socially active person?” 

“No, not really, I just stay at home most nights, or I go out with friends, but I’m usually back at a decent time,” Steve said, shaking his head a little. This question made a little more sense, but he quickly guessed that there was more to this job than she was going to tell him.

“I can’t say I blame you,” Ms. Carr said, not reacting to the voice in her ear signalling delight at Steve as a candidate. “You’re exactly what we’re looking for, Mr. Rogers, the position is yours if you want to take it. I would tell you to take some time to think it over, but time isn’t something we have much of. Bucky has already been alone for a while.” 

“I…oh wow…” Taking a deep breath, Steve looked at the job description again, skimming it over. He didn’t know if he could say no, though, he wanted to separate from Peggy, and this would allow him to do that. This would allow him to do lots of things, maybe he could actually afford a bigger place, he could have an art studio. And if he didn’t do this job, someone else would, maybe not as well as he could do it, and he’d be back at his own desk.

“Would it sweeten things if we tripled your salary and bought you a Corvette?” Ms. Carr asked as she leaned forward.

“…could you make that Corvette a vintage Indian motorcycle?” Steve asked, the corner of his mouth tugging up a little in a nervous smile. 

“Just tell us which one you want,” Taking the tablet in her hand, Ms. Carr made a few changes to reflect the raise and motorcycle before turning it back towards Steve with a smile on her face. Though it looked happy enough, Ms. Carr felt more like a spider who had just trapped a fly. 

“Wow…I…” Steve shook his head and laughed out loud, signing the contract. This wasn’t what he was expecting when he came into work today, but he wasn’t going to complain either. “When am I going to meet Bucky?” 

“You’ll have a car come to pick you up at nine out front of your building tomorrow, you can contact us with this,” Ms. Carr said, reaching into her bag to pull out a Stark phone in a box, setting it in front of him on the table. “You’ll get your clearance tomorrow, and then you will meet him.” 

“Does he know you’re getting someone new for him? Will he know about me?” Steve asked, his hand resting on the box. 

“Oh, he’ll know,” Ms. Carr said with another sweetly sinister smile. “He’ll be waiting for you.”


	2. Red Star Clearance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve meets Bucky as some more of Stark Industries secrets are revealed.

When Steve had first come to to Stark Industries, his orientation had been a pleasant experience. He’d joined the company at the same time as two other women, and after pictures were taken for badges, they’d discussed the clearance and security system over a vanilla and strawberry layer cake. He was shown his first office, which he’d shared with three other people at that point, and told what was and wasn’t allowed for decor. It was all pretty standard, and by the time lunch break was over, Steve was going over the presentation about company standards regarding dealing with customers. After he’d finished that, he was given a rather large gift basket of shirts, a coffee mug, and a few other Stark branded items that he’d struggled to take home on the bus, feeling like an idiot trying to hold everything on his lap. It had been a good first day, as first days went, though he had to admit he didn’t feel like a member of “Team Stark” quite yet. He’d give it time though, this was a great job, he just had to give it one hundred percent. He had to give it a real chance. 

Sitting in another cart, still holding his messenger bag against him, Steve was pretty sure he wasn’t getting a cake and gift basket today. He hadn’t realized until he got home and had a long time to think about this that it all seemed really weird. Stark Industries didn’t deal with medical testing, so why would there be a patient here? And what had they done to him, exactly? He remembered Ms. Carr telling him that Bucky would tell him if he wanted to, but he felt awkward at the thought of asking someone what made them special. It didn’t take long for him to decide that he wasn’t going to let his curiosity get the better of him with this job. 

“Mr. Rogers, hello,” Ms. Carr said as she stepped over to meet Steve in the cart, once it parked itself. “Don’t worry, you aren’t going to have to take that a ride every day, I’m sure that would get annoying after a while. We’re going to show you where your entrance is from now on so you can arrive and leave easier. You’ll have an area there to park your motorcycle, or receive deliveries if you order food. Other departments use that door, so no one will question you at all.”

“It’s not such a bad ride...I think the motorcycle will be more fun, though,” Steve said with a strained laugh, trying to be friendly even though he wasn’t sure if he should be. 

“I’m sure it will be,” Ms. Carr said, her own smile lacking genuine feeling. “Please, follow me.”

Steve straightened the strap of his messenger bag, following Ms. Carr through the doorway and into the hall they were in yesterday, though today they’d gone to the right instead, towards an elevator. 

“We are going to be registering your retina scan and thumbprint once we get inside the elevator,” Ms. Carr said casually as if she was just mentioning giving him a key for the place. “Like I said, you will be placed on red star clearance, there are only a small handful of people that have it, myself included. You must carry your badge at all times, you will need it to access Bucky’s habitat. If you lose it, you must immediately contact me. Do you still have the phone I gave you?”

“Right here,” Steve said as he took it out of his pocket where it lay next to his own phone. He half wanted to ask why they called it Bucky’s habitat, it made him sound like a zoo animal. Though Steve didn’t know what the kid was like, there was every possibility that he could be completely wild. “I meant to ask, should I continue wearing business casual? Is this job going to be physical at all?”

“You may wear whatever you want, Mr. Rogers, very few people will see you down here,” Ms. Carr said as she pressed the button for the elevator, the doors opening immediately, closing once they’d stepped inside. 

The first thing that Steve noticed about this elevator was that there were no buttons, and that it opened on both sides. There was what he recognized as a barcode reader, next to a round pad that glowed red, and underneath what he guessed was a camera of sorts. Opening his mouth to ask how they were supposed to get anywhere, he looked up to see another camera pointing down at them. That was definitely a security camera. 

“Admin mode, Carr, Rebecca Anne, four eight zeta nine alpha four,” Ms. Carr said, scanning her own pass, and letting her thumbprint and retina to be scanned before reaching into her bag to pull out another badge that was blank save for a small red star. Sliding it into the slot, she turned to Steve. 

“I want you to put your left thumb on that pad, and you need to look into this camera without blinking,” Ms. Carr watched as Steve’s thumbprint and retina scan finished. “Now I want you to say your full name, surname first, when the red light appears. Be very clear.”

“Rogers, Steven Grant,” Steve said as the small red light on the card scanner illuminated and subsequently disappeared. He watched as Ms. Carr removed the card, attaching it to a metal chain, before holding it out to him. 

“Put the card in the scanner again, as you put your thumb on the pad and look into the scanner. Then ask to go to the eighth lower level,” Ms. Carr said, watching Steve with a polite smile on her face, and Howard Stark’s voice in her ear. So far he was pleased.

“Eighth lower level,” Steve said clearly, putting his badge around his neck, not sure if he’d need it again. This was definitely much tighter security than the metal detector at the front door. 

“The doors open on both sides for each floor down to the sixth floor, but it only opens on this side on the eighth floor because of your clearance. If someone gets in the elevator with you and requests a floor, it will go straight to their floor and the door on the eighth won’t open until you request your floor again with your badge and scans,” Ms. Carr explained as the elevator descended, turning to exit through the back into a hallway lit only by emergency lighting. Leading Steve down a hallway of offices empty save for stacks of old boxes here and there, she stopped at the fifth room on the left. “Your pass works here as well, even if the scanner looks old, it works just fine.” 

“O-oh, alright,” Steve said, holding his pass in his hand, pausing before he scanned it. “…is getting into the building at the door I’m supposed to use going to have security at this level?” 

“No, you’re going to be using the same type of entrance as you were used to, just at a different location,” Ms. Carr said as she reached out for the door handle, pushing it open and stepping into a white room with neon lighting overhead. “Come, you can finally meet Bucky now.” 

Steve wasn’t sure what he’d expected from all of this build up to come to this strange room. There were a few chairs along a desk facing a glass wall with a control panel on it, the rest of the room mostly empty aside from some medical equipment, a comfortable looking couch, and a desk with a monitor on it. The glass wall itself was quite long, about twenty feet or so, with a single door in the middle, and on the other side was another white room, brightly lit as well. There were a few pieces of exercise equipment on the far right, an exercise bike bolted to the floor, a yoga ball, and a couple small hand weights. On the left was a bathroom, a toilet, sink, and a clear shower stall, with a few bright red towels hanging from the walls. The middle was the largest section of room with a metal bed bolted down in the corner along with some bookshelves and a dresser. In the far corner from the bed was a television, a few consoles, and a case full of dozens of games. Sitting in front of it was a teenage boy with long brown hair pulled back into a ponytail, wearing a thick black hoodie and shorts, a black controller in his hands as he mindlessly continued with his game despite the people staring at him. It was something he was painfully used to. 

“He looks…pretty normal,” Steve said, realizing the boy was nothing at all like he’d pictured. He’d been imagining a medical experiment gone wrong or something, but Bucky seemed to be like any other teenager he saw around. He noticed that Bucky had a metal glove on, though, he wondered if he’d been too quick to judge Bucky as average, he hadn’t taken to account how many afflictions were invisible. “I mean…I’m sure he is special, it’s just not as obvious as I’d imagined.” 

“Believe me, he is,” Ms. Carr said, gesturing down to the control panel on the desk. “Everything is labelled clearly, that’s the button to lock the door if you’ve gone in and out, the switches to dim the lights are here. For any medical issues with Bucky, you press the blue button to summon his nurse, and you’ll also be seeing her twice a day, one in the morning and once in the evening, so she can check Bucky’s vitals. Now, you’ll notice inside of his room there are red buttons, those are panic buttons. They neutralize him immediately and other red star clearance personnel will be notified to come to your aid.” 

“…neutralize?” Steve asked, that word seeming a little out of place. “How dangerous is he?”

“He’s not overly strong, it’s only a precaution, they’ve never had an incident,” Ms. Carr said, knowing that Steve likely wasn’t going to like the next part of their conversation. No one ever did. “Bucky has an implant in his neck that is triggered by the panic buttons, as well as the doorway itself. If he tries to leave, he will receive an electric shock strong enough to destabilize him.” 

Steve’s jaw dropped open a little as his could only blink, his stomach feeling like it was in a knot. So there it was. He wasn’t taking a job as a companion, he was taking the position of Bucky’s jail guard. 

“How much does it hurt him? Is that really necessary?” Steve asked, looking back at Bucky, feeling terrible for him. Even if he was special, he needed friends, and he didn’t know if just him was going to be enough. 

“We can’t have him get out, it’s for his best interests as well as ours,” Ms. Carr said, having readied herself for some more difficult questions from Steve. It was inevitable when he realized exactly what this job entailed, she’d have been surprised if he’d just accepted it. “It’s enough to incapacitate him, but cause any real damage. He hasn’t tried to escape in years, it’s only really a precaution.” 

“Years? How long has he been here?” Steve’s eyebrows shot up, looking around the room Bucky was kept in, trying to picture growing up in there. This all seemed much more horrific than he was let on, he was starting to feel like he’d made a big mistake signing onto this. If they got caught keeping Bucky in this basement, what was going to happen to him if he knew about it and said nothing? 

“He’s been here since he was four, his family died in a car accident, and he was dying as well. We were able to bring him here and save him, and he’s been here since,” Ms. Carr said, trying to still seem pleasant as Howard Stark told her to keep him there no matter what. Lying outright wasn’t going to work because Bucky could correct him later. They couldn’t be made to seem like they were lying on top of everything else. “It was different before, he had a nanny, he had more nurses, a tutor, and every toy he could ever want.” 

“Am I the only one to come down here and spend time with him now though? I haven’t seen anyone else around here, why is he alone now?” Steve’s heart ached for Bucky, just wanting to go in the room and give him a hug. This wasn’t the way for anyone to live.

“Now that we’re getting closer to him being moved, we had minimized the staff and were relying on your predecessor to keep him company. After his death, there has been a short period of time where Bucky has been alone more often, he’s not always up to socializing with me or some of the others. He was very attached to his last companion,” Ms. Carr said, knowing just how attached his companion was getting to him, which was why they’d had to get rid of the man. He hadn’t given them any other choice, really. “He’s taken it very hard, and he’s nervous about the move, we thought it would be best not to stress him with lots of new people, I think you’re going to be enough for him to swallow for now.” 

Steve looked at Ms. Carr with a frown on his face, feeling torn about what to do here. He wasn’t stupid, this wasn’t a small company, he was well aware of the hammer that would come down on him if he was to go straight to the police. They had high power lawyers who could stall things until Bucky could be whisked away. They would have to have protocol in place for someone going to the authorities, an operation this secret and illegal wasn’t going to exist without a solid backup plan.

Like staging a car accident. 

As a feeling like ice water ran down his back, Steve took a slow breath in, looking back down at Bucky as he realized just what he’d got himself into. And, as if he could hear him, Bucky took that opportunity to look up at Steve, their blue eyes meeting through the clear glass. 

“f you want to talk to him, you can talk to him through the microphone on the computer, it’s fairly easy to figure out, the application is on the desktop. For now, you can go in though, say hello. I’m sure Bucky’s eager to meet you,” Ms. Carr said, watching as the two of them got their first good look at each other, pleased with how things were going. Reaching over, she pressed the blue button that unlocked Bucky’s room, holding the door open so that he could step inside. 

Nodding at her, Steve stepped slowly into the bedroom, not surprised how much it smelled like cleaning solution. Everything in the room was spotless, except for the bed which was unmade and obviously well slept in. All the books and video games on the shelves were organized, the walls empty except for a few shelves with neat little toys on them, and the floor bare everywhere but where Bucky sat, a large flat pillow underneath him. The only thing that Steve couldn’t begin to explain was a single picture on the wall of Tony Stark, Howard Stark’s son and heir to Stark Industries, that raised a lot more questions than he felt comfortable asking right now. 

“My name is Steve Rogers…you can call me anything you want, Steve, Steven, Mr. Rogers, whatever makes you comfortable…” Steve said, deciding to give the kid a bit of choice in his otherwise captive life. He felt both guilty for Bucky and frightened for himself, but he wasn’t going to let Bucky down if he could help it. If everyone else was going to make his life hell, maybe he could be a spot of relief. “I don’t know what you want me to call you, I know th-“

“Bucky. My name is Bucky,” the boy said as he looked up at Steve again, their eyes meeting without the glass between them this time. “You don’t want this job, quit now while they’ll let you.” 

“It can’t be that bad…” Steve said, trying to sound more positive than he was feeling. “You seem nice enough.” 

“I’m not the one you work for,” Bucky replied without a pause, turning back to his game, and taking out another zombie. 

“Why don’t we give Bucky some space, this was a lot for today,” Ms. Carr said with a fake smile, wanting to break up this conversation before it could get started, touching Steve’s arm to catch his attention and lead him out of the room. “I’m sure Steve will come back tomorrow, Bucky. The nurse will be here soon for your check up, she’s bringing your dinner.” 

Bucky ignored Ms. Carr, though there was anger in his expression now as he shot a group of undead Nazis. He didn’t look up as Steve stepped from the room. 

“See you tomorrow, Bucky…” Steve said softly, not expecting to hear anything more from Bucky as Ms. Carr began to close the door. 

“Bye, Steve,” Bucky replied, looking up from his game again for a moment before turning back to it. 

“Yeah…” Steve said as he gave Bucky a weak smile, turning with Ms. Carr to leave the room. Bucky’s pale blue eyes haunting him all the way down the corridor as his words echoed in Steve’s mind. 

Exactly who was he working for?


	3. First Impressions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve begins his new job and hopes to start off on the right foot.

Steve had been told that his hours were his to decide, but he still got up at the same time he always did. He had always been a creature of habit, it was going to be hard shifting his sleep schedule around if Bucky needed him at night. Waking up at five, he went for his run, showered, and made himself a protein smoothie before seeing Peggy off to work, not feeling like having the talk with her just yet. He was still waiting on his motorcycle, which he’d been told it was being shipped from California, and the company credit card was coming in tomorrow, so it was the bus as usual for him. Making an extra stop downtown at his favourite bakery to pick up a treat for Bucky and himself, he was quickly back on the bus and headed to Stark Industries. 

Going through the new door at the east side of the building felt odd, it wasn’t the usual team of Theo and Rana at the metal detector, but an older man named Jamal. Not knowing if he should try to make friends with security here, he decided to play it safe and keep his interaction to a smile and nod before he headed for the elevator. It felt strange for him, he always tried to get to know everyone, he prided himself on knowing most of the staff in his old section by name, along with any other bits of information they dropped in conversation, he wanted to get along with the people he worked for. But now he only had Bucky, it seemed, he was going to have to be anti-social when it came to work. He’d have to ask Ms. Carr for a suitable excuse he should give his old friends when they asked where he’d gone and why they can’t visit. It was a sacrifice he hadn’t thought about.

“Eighth lower level,” Steve said after putting his pass in and scanning his eye and thumb, leaning on the wall as the elevator sunk, glad that he was alone on it, though he knew that would likely come up at some point. Holding the white box from the bakery in both hands, he sighed softly, worried that he was going to screw this up and make Bucky hate him. It would be a quick way for all this to get so much worse, and he didn’t think he could handle the stress of that. He didn’t know if that would bring his job to the same end as his predecessor, or if his own fate would be more gruesome.

As the elevator doors opened, he stepped out into the empty hallway, his footfalls echoing in his head with each step he took. “You can do this, Steve, you can do this,” Steve whispered under his breath, closing his eyes as he scanned his pass, listening for the accepting chime before pocketing the plastic card, opening the door with one hand as he balanced the box with another. Stepping into the room, he was about to say hello to Bucky when he realized there was someone else there, a nurse who seemed to be taking the boy’s vitals. 

“Oh, you must be Mr. Rogers,” the nurse said, waiting as Bucky removed his heavy hoodie, leaving him in a tank top, to get his blood pressure read. 

“I-yeah…” Steve stammered, unable to help staring at Bucky’s right arm. What he thought had just been a strange glove turned out to be a full arm, made with what seemed to be shifting panels of a silvery metal. At the top on the outside of his shoulder was a single red star, and where it attached to the teen looked scarred and burnt. Whatever had taken Bucky’s original arm looked like it had been painful, Steve had to wonder how long he’d had it. It looked like something made by Stark Industries, which made him wonder if they were the ones that took his flesh one. 

“I’m almost done here. My name is Christine, I do James’s medical exams twice a day,” she said, sounding pleasant as she took the blood pressure cuff off Bucky, taking out a thermometer to check for fever. “I usually come at nine and nine, so you know when to expect me.”

“Oh, alright, thank you for letting me know,” Steve said, stepping aside as she emerged from the room, putting the blood pressure machine back in the far corner. “How is he?” 

“He’s fine, he’s always fine,” Christine said with a laugh, fiddling with the stethoscope around her neck as she headed for the door. “Kind of hard to get sick if you can’t go outside. Speaking of which, don’t come in if you’re ill. Because he’s been in here most of his life and not picked up infections and illnesses, he’s very susceptible to getting sick.”

“I’ll keep that in mind, it was nice to meet you,” Steve said, nodding to Christine as she left the room, before turning to face Bucky, who had gone back to sit on the edge of his bed, looking down at his feet as he kicked at a spot on the floor. Hitting the blue button to open his room, Steve stepped inside, nervously clutching the box as he mentally begged for Bucky to like him. “…I brought a treat, they didn’t say you couldn’t have junk food…” 

Bucky stopped kicking, crossing his arms across his chest and hugging himself tight before looking up at Steve. “I have to scan it before I eat it, my food gets tallied by calories, fat, and carbohydrates, and I have to do time on the exercise bike when I go over,” he said, looking up at Steve, his eyes focusing on the white box in his hands. It had been a very long time since he’d seen a box like that, but when he had, the bike riding had always been worth it. “…what’s in the box?” 

“Cupcakes, four of them,” Steve said, opening the box to show them off. He’d gone to this shop before, and he’d always been happy with what he brought home, especially the lemon vanilla ones, though Peggy swore by the red velvet. “I got a lemon vanilla, chocolate raspberry, carrot cake, and coffee creme. I had no idea what you’d like, so I got my four favourites and figured you could have first pick of them.” 

Standing up off the bed, Bucky walked over to Steve, who stood almost a head taller than him, looking up into his eyes before his gaze turned to the box. Looking them over for a moment, he carefully began to reach for the lemon vanilla, his eyes moving back up to Steve to gauge his reaction to Bucky’s selection, waiting for one emotion specifically. When Steve didn’t look angry or say anything, Bucky carefully took it from the box in Steve’s hands and brought it over to a clear box on the table. Placing it inside, he hit a button, his head tilting to the side a little as .

“What is that thing?” Steve asked, not remembering if he’d ever seen anything like it before. It looked like a food storage receptacle, but there was a screen above it. 

“I told you, I have to scan my food. This…does that,” Bucky said, waiting for a read out on the screen before opening the container to get his cupcake. Carefully peeling off the wrapper, he dumped it in the small garbage bin beside his dresser, about to bite into the cake when he turned and looked at the other man. “…thanks, Steve.” 

“Any time, Bucky,” Steve said, hoping that this was as good a first impression as it seemed. He still had a lot of time to fuck it up still, he hadn’t managed to push that idea out of his head. “Is there anything else you like that I can bring in for you? Or order? I can go to the cafeteria and get anything you want.”

“…I don’t know….” Bucky said, going back to sit on his bed as he ate his cupcake slowly, enjoying it as he broke off pieces and put them in his mouth. It was the most delicious thing he’d eaten in a while, or since he’d had Jack to look after him. It wasn’t that he wasn’t being fed, but no one else knew what he liked, or where to get it, and he hadn’t felt comfortable making demands about what he wanted. The closer they were getting to his birthday, the more tense he felt, and that wasn’t exactly helping his appetite either. 

“May I sit down with you?” Steve asked, setting the cupcakes down, not taking one for himself yet, figuring he’d enjoy it more after lunch. “Or is there something else I can do for you?” 

“No, just…” Bucky gestured to a chair in the corner that had a hoodie draped over the back. 

“Oh, thanks,” Steve said, figuring he was going to have to haul one of them in from the other room. Bringing it closer to Bucky, he sat the chair down backwards, and took a seat with his arms crossed on the back, giving the boy a weak smile when they made eye contact. “…Look, I know this can’t be easy, you don’t even know me…”

“I didn’t know Jack when he started either, or Ed, or Joe…” Bucky shrugged a little, picking at the cupcake still, not looking up at Steve, mostly out of his own shyness. “You’re the second Steve that’s been here, he only lasted a month, so…” He shook his head again as he popped the last of his breakfast in his mouth. 

“I hope I last longer than that, I hope you like me enough to keep me around,” Steve said, wondering how much power Bucky had when it came to hiring and firing his companions, he would be disappointed if it was completely out of his hands. The teen should have some choice in life, it was painfully obvious he didn’t. 

“It’s not up to me,” Bucky said, pulling his knees up to his chest and hugging them, resting his chin on top. “Nothing is up to me. Even if I do choose what to eat, I still have to go on the exercise bike as long as I’m told to based on my choices.” 

“…can I ask why?” Steve asked, not sure if he should be getting into questions quite yet. He’d just really met Bucky, he probably shouldn’t be getting too personal with him now. 

“I have to stay at my optimal weight,” Bucky explained casually, staring blankly over at the corner where the chair had been. “I’m not supposed to gain or lose weight or they modify my diet accordingly. It’s…it’s annoying, but it’s…” Sighing softly, he shook his head again, not wanting to get into this whole mess just yet. Steve seemed nice, he didn’t need to know that Bucky was a freak of nature. 

“Okay…uhm…I can bring healthier treats if you want, less time on the bike,” Steve offered, wondering now how many cupcakes Bucky should have, though he wasn’t about to deny him one. He just hoped it didn’t mean Bucky would have to be on the bike all afternoon. 

“It’s fine, the bike gives me something to do,” Bucky said, pushing his long hair out of his face, tucking it behind his ears. It didn’t bother him to sit around with messy hair and rumpled pyjamas, he couldn’t count how many people had seen him like that, or completely naked. Either way, he had no shame. 

“Do you want to do anything right now? What do you usually do in the mornings?” Steve inquired, unable to keep looking at the metal arm, not knowing a polite way to ask why Bucky had one. 

“The same kind of things I do in the rest of the day, time doesn’t really matter down here,” Bucky said with a shrug, repositioning himself so that his legs were crossed and his arms were across his chest, hugging himself again. “…I have pretty much every video game ever made, every movie, I have some games I used to play with Jack under my bed, like chess and stuff, some other toys and junk…I don’t know…” 

“…do you have cards?” Steve asked, figuring it would be an easy thing to buy if he didn’t, and there were countless games they could play.

“I do, I know forty four different types of solitaire,” Bucky said, reaching into his bedside table, taking out a pair of Stark Industries branded playing cards, and holding them out to Steve. “I know a few types of poker, crazy eights, blackjack…lots of others. I have some poker chips too.”

“I didn’t know there were forty four types of solitaire,” Steve said, trying to sound interested rather than sad that Bucky obviously had more time on his hands than anyone he’d ever met. He should be out hanging out with friends, going to school and planning for his future, not mastering how to play games by himself. 

“There’s more, but my book only went up to fifty, and I’m not done yet,” Bucky said, wrapping his arms around himself again as he watched Steve open the small box and slide the cards out, shuffling them slowly. “I can build a pretty good card house too, my right arm doesn’t shake at all so it’s kind of a cheat.” 

“Hey, if it’s your arm, I don’t think it’s cheating. It’s not like you’re bringing in a ringer or something,” Steve said, wanting to ask about it, but not feeling like it was his place to get too personal at this point. 

“What’s a ringer?” Bucky asked, raising an eyebrow. 

“In sports, it’s like…okay, Stark Industries has a baseball team, they play other company teams for fun, I was actually second base for a couple of years, but I didn’t have time this year for it,” Steve said, wondering if giving Bucky information about himself would be encouragement for the teen to open up about himself more. “Anyway, if they hired a professional baseball player just so that person could play on the company team, that person would be a ringer. Kind of a way to cheat that’s technically not against the rules…wait, do you know what baseball is?”

“Yeah, I have some baseball video games,” Bucky nodded over at the bookcase of games in the far corner. “They’re probably a lot more fun to play if you’ve played the real game before. I’m pretty good at the them, but…I don’t know.” 

Steve was starting to notice the phrase ‘I don’t know’ had came up a few times with Bucky. He wasn’t sure if it was because Bucky felt awkward around him, though he was pretty sure the kid had enough secrets in him to make anyone uncomfortable. He wouldn’t be living in the basement of Stark Industries in a glass cell with a metal arm if he didn’t have anything to hide. 

“How about this…” Steve said, looking up from the cards into Bucky’s eyes. “You know my name and that I sometimes play baseball, and that’s not much for someone you’re supposed to trust. So you’re going to pick a card, and I’m going to tell you that many things about myself.” Fanning out the cards, he held them towards Bucky, giving him a warm smile. 

“Am I taking a turn?” Bucky asked, not touching the cards, looking over them into Steve’s eyes. 

“No, you don’t have to,” Steve shook his head, wondering just what he was going to tell Bucky, hoping he didn’t pull our a king or something. There weren’t that many interesting facts about him, and he didn’t want to get weirdly personal yet. 

“…okay,” Bucky said, letting go of himself, reaching out with his left arm to carefully select a card from the deck, holding it up. “Eight.” 

“Eight? Okay, that’s not too bad, let me think…” Steve said, putting down the cards and holding up eight fingers so he could keep track of how many things he’d mentioned. “I collect Brooklyn Dodgers baseball memorabilia, I run every morning, I used to have an orange cat named Jinx, I used to get sick all the time as a kid but I grew out of it, I’m an artist or I try to be one anyway, my best friend is a pilot, my favourite food is spaghetti or hot dog cart hot dogs, and I’m married to a CIA agent named Peggy.”

“I knew you were married,” Bucky said, chewing on his lip for a moment, reaching over for the cards so he could slowly shuffle them.

“How did you know that?” Steve asked, watching his hands move, marvelling at the dexterity of the metal hand. He didn’t think prosthetic technology was anywhere near this, but he still didn’t feel right asking about it. 

“Because they want to make sure you’re straight, and that you don’t fall in love with me like Jack did,” Bucky said casually, watching intently as the cards slid from hand to hand. “My creator, Father, said he wasn’t making the mistake of hiring a single person again, so obviously you’re married if he hired you.” 

“Fath-?“ Steve was about to ask what he meant by creator and if Bucky’s parents were involved in this when he heard the door open in the other room. Turning his head, he expected to see Ms. Carr or the nurse, so when Howard Stark came strolling in, his eyebrows nearly migrated to his hairline. He looked just like he did in the company newsletters, powerful and smart without a hair out of place, but still friendly. Everyone always said that Stark was a kind man, and face to face with him now, Steve was hoping that it was true.

“You must be Steve Rogers,” Howard said as he stepped into Bucky’s room, a friendly smile on his face as he extended his hand.“Yes, sir, I…” Steve stood up in a hurry to shake the CEO’s hand, too shocked to wonder why he was there. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Stark.” 

“Likewise,” Howard smiled, looking over at the box of cupcakes, chuckling a little. “I guess that’s one way to win someone over. How’s your first morning going so far. Steve?”

“Great, Bucky’s great, I think I’m really going to like it here,” Steve said, the weirdness of the situation finally starting to kick in. He’d worked here for years without seeing the man, and now all of a sudden Stark was on a first name basis with him. And what did this have to do with the fact that Tony Stark’s picture was in the room? “We were just getting to know each other.”

“Excellent, that’s what I want to hear,” Stark said as he turned to look at Bucky, who was still playing with the cards. “What do you think, Bucky? Is Steve working out for you so far?” 

Taking a card out of the deck, Bucky flipped it between his metal fingers, his eyes on Steve’s as he flashed him the ace. One. For now. 

“He’s working out very well, I like him a lot,” Bucky said, looking up at Howard for a moment, giving him the closest thing he could manage to a smile. “Thank you, Father.” 

Steve’s eyes met Bucky’s again as he felt like he’d swallowed a bowling ball, a sick feeling coming over him when he thought of the word ‘creator’ again. This was why Jack died. This is why he was going to die if he didn’t tread carefully. 

Bucky was Howard Stark’s personal property.


	4. Fifty Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As one relationship changes in Steve's life, another strengthens.

“Morning, sleepyhead, didn’t your run wake you up?” 

Steve jumped, sending a scoop of protein powder across the counter instead of into the blender with the spinach, chia seeds, and frozen blueberries he’d taken forever to put in there. He’d been slowing down for weeks now with all the pressure of Howard Stark on this conscience, even though he’d only seen him a handful of times since he began his job with Bucky. He found himself getting increasingly paranoid, which wasn’t helping his routine, especially his sleep schedule. It was getting harder to hide it from Peggy, even with her work schedule taking her out of town every few days. He knew he couldn’t keep putting it off, he couldn’t lead her on forever that he was in love with her, especially now that he could be putting her in the line of danger. 

“Oh, shit!” Steve cursed, putting the scoop back into the container to start cleaning up the spill. “Sorry, sorry…morning, Peg.” 

“Good morning to you too,” she said, turning the coffee maker on before sitting at the small island with her make up bag and a mirror. “I’m using that Kenyan blend you like, maybe you should bring a coffee with you to the office. Though I’m sure they have coffee there too.” 

“I’ll grab one at the office, but thanks, I don’t even know how I’m going to get this smoothie down. Not hungry right now,” Steve said, pouring the milk into the blender now that he’d managed to get the protein powder into it. Truthfully, he felt like he needed the energy boost, but he didn’t want the caffeine to add to his anxiety, he didn’t need to have a heart attack on the way to work. 

“Are you okay, Steve?” Peggy asked, putting down her eye pencil to walk over to him, putting the back of her hand against his brow. 

“I’m fine, just…getting settled with this new position is more stressful than I thought it would be,” Steve said, letting her take his temperature as he turned the blender on, guilt mixing in as she pressed her hand against him. She was always the most loving wife, and it wasn’t that he didn’t love her, he just didn’t know how well they fit together any more. He didn’t want to upset her, though. 

He also didn’t want Howard Stark to kill him if he found out his marriage broke up. 

“Are you sure taking that job was a good idea? I mean, the motorcycle is really, really cool, and the raise is nice, but if you’re not happy, it’s not worth it,” Peggy shook her head, genuinely concerned for her husband. 

“It’s not that I’m not happy, it’s…” Steve swallowed hard, feeling like he had to make this decision right here and now. It was either his safety, or Peggy’s, and there’s no way he couldn’t pick her. If Stark was going to kill him for this move, at least Peggy wasn’t going to get caught in the crossfire. “Peggy…we need to talk.”

“Oh boy…” Peggy said, biting her lip for a moment before her shoulders relaxed. “…I think we’ve needed to have a talk for a bit if this is the talk I’m thinking of.” 

“It’s…Peg, I love you, you’re amazing…” Steve began, shaking his head as everything in him screamed at him not to break Peggy’s heart. 

“Steve, I’ve met someone,” Peggy said, seeing that Steve was faltering, figuring she could make it a lot easier for both of them by being direct. “I haven’t done anything with him, nothing like that, I would never cheat on you, but I like him. A lot. When I’m with you, I feel like I’m with one of my friends, but when I’m with Raj, I feel…I feel like I want to be with him.”

Steve blinked, completely taken by surprise by Peggy’s admission, though he felt like he shouldn’t be. If he knew something was wrong for a long time, she probably knew for longer, she was a lot sharper than he was. 

“So how do you want to do this? I can move out, you can keep all the furniture and that, I can be out whenever you want me to be,” Steve said, feeling a little winded as his marriage came to an end, even if it had been on life support for a while now. “I want you to keep your ring though, okay? You don’t have to give it back, I bought that for you. If you sell it or something, that’s fine too. It’s yours.” 

“There’s no rush, Steve, I have to head to D.C. tomorrow for a week, and if you don’t find a place in that time, then that’s fine too, we have a spare room for a reason,” Peggy said, looking at him sadly as she reached out to rub his shoulder, giving it an affectionate squeeze. “I love you too, Steve, and I hope we’ll be friends after this because I would miss you so much if you weren’t in my life.” 

“I will be in your life as long as you let me,” Steve said, opening up his arms and pulling Peggy into a tight hug. “You’re not going to get rid of me that easily. Raj is a lucky guy.”

“I don’t even think he knows I like him,” Peggy laughed through her tears, feeling more relief than sadness. “Though I wasn’t subtle when I started liking you, was I?” 

“You literally pulled me off the couch at a party and announced that I was yours now,” Steve chucked, rubbing her back as his mind went back to the first night they’d hooked up. “You were scary and I loved it.” 

“Well I’m still scary, and if anyone breaks your heart, I’m going to mow her down, got it?” Peggy smiled, reaching up to press the end of Steve’s nose. 

“Damn, I wouldn’t want to be her,” Steve wiped his eyes, laughing again, surprised by how well this was going, and how good it was to get all the built up feeling off his chest. “I think we should have been honest with each other before now.”

“I agree, though…I was scared I was going to hurt you, and I didn’t want to do that,” Peggy said, getting herself a piece of paper towel to dry her eyes, sighing at the smudged make up on it. “You couldn’t have done this before I started my make up, jerk?” 

As the two of them laughed together again, Steve knew that he’d made the right decision, and not just because it was going to make Peggy happier, but she’d be safer the further away from him she could get. Pouring them each a coffee, they shared the morning together, going over good memories and bad, realizing how much they’d needed each other for so long. Steve knew that there was never going to be another Peggy in his life, and for that he was grateful, because he didn’t think he could handle two. As sweetly and playful as their relationship began, it changed over Kenyan blend from a fairytale marriage into a rock solid friendship. 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Sorry I’m late, sorry,” Steve said as he stepped inside Bucky’s room, having left his helmet and jacket on the desk in the other room. He didn’t have set hours when it came to Bucky, but he always tried to get there in the morning when his nurse was with him. Having spent the morning with Peggy, he hadn’t had time to grab any treats, though he was planning on ordering Bucky a calzone from his favourite pizza place if the was up for it later. “Bucky?”

Curled up on the bed with the blanket pulled over him, Bucky was curled up, clutching his pillow to his chest. He’d heard Steve come in, but he wasn’t ready to be social, not yet, he didn’t want Steve to see him cry. 

“I’m fine,” Bucky said, thought the tremor in his voice gave his true state away. 

“What would you like me to do?” Steve asked, not wanting to push him, though he felt like he should reach down and rub Bucky’s back, give the kid some actual physical contact. He hadn’t touched Bucky much, however, and he didn’t know how the boy would react to it. 

“Hang on…” Bucky was pretty sure he was caught, pulling the blanket off his head, looking up at Steve with his hair stuck in all directions. “I don’t want…I don’t want to talk.” 

“We don’t have to talk. Want to play a video game?” Steve asked, gesturing over to the television, figuring that might help distract Bucky from whatever was upsetting him. “You can pick, even though you just beat me in every game we play. You’d make a good assassin, I swear, judging by your Call of Duty zombie prowess.” 

Bucky didn’t say anything, slowly getting out from underneath the blanket, sitting up and hugging himself tightly as he nodded a little. 

“Come on, it looks like we’ve both had crazy mornings, what would you like to play?” Steve asked as he walked over to the games, looking for the titles Bucky liked more. “How about this one? You can laugh at me when the bosses scare me. Or we can play a driving game and you can see if you can beat me by a whole lap again.” 

“So what happened to you this morning?” Bucky asked, more interested in Steve than the video games, or himself. 

“I, uhh, my marriage ended,” Steve said, deciding to just be upfront about it. If it was going to be a problem, he’d rather deal with it now than wait in paranoia for someone to take him out. 

“…why?” Bucky asked, suddenly tensing up and looking very worried. 

“She’d met someone,” Steve said, which was true, it was easier than explaining that his feelings had changed. “It’s fine, it ended on a really good note. We still love each other as friends, and now she can be with the guy she likes.” 

Bucky still looked a little worried, though he relaxed a bit, his eyes flickering everywhere but directly at Steve. 

“Here…” Steve got the chair from the corner, setting it down across from Bucky, though he didn’t put it backwards this time. Taking a seat, he offered both of his hands out to Bucky. “I get that something is bothering you, and I want to help you feel better. You don’t want to talk, but if you want to hold my hands, you can.” 

Ignoring his hands, Bucky reached over to his nightstand drawer, taking the cards out. Sliding them out of their package, he fanned the cards out and set them in Steve’s hands. 

“What, you want to play a game or…oh,” Steve remembered the last time they’d played this game, on his first day here, and he was more than willing to go along with it. “Okay, pick a card.” 

Selecting one, Bucky looked at it and held it up, the six of clubs. 

“Six…” Steve set the cards down, holding up six fingers. “I drive a motorcycle to work and I will admit that it makes me feel more confident, I’m allergic to bees but I’ve only been stung once, I’ve had my nose broken twice and almost broken a lot more because I tend to break up fights if I see them, I love golden retrievers and I want one as soon as I am more stable, my favourite colour is blue, and I like watching Star Trek. Do you know what that is?”

“I have the movies…” Bucky said, still looking nervous, clutching onto himself so tightly that his knuckles were white. 

“Do you have a favourite character?” Steve asked, very aware of how upset Bucky was, wishing he’d taken psychology in school instead of art. Bucky didn’t seem to want to talk, and he was pretty sure he shouldn’t push him. 

“K-Kirk, he…h-he’s brave, and he d-does the right thing…” Bucky said, his voice shaking, followed by the rest of him, as tears rose in his eyes. Picking up the cards, he gave them back to Steve, waiting to go again. 

“Kirk is my favourite too, him and Bones,” Steve said, getting more and more worried by Bucky’s behaviour as he spread the cards out again. “Going to choose a huge number for me this time?” 

Bucky didn’t reply, he just reached out and took his card, holding it up between shaking fingers. 

“Three, okay, I can do three,” Steve cleared his throat, trying to stay as calm as possible as he set the cards back down. “My dad died when I was really little so I don’t remember anything about him except his facial hair was scratchy, my favourite flavour of ice cream is Neapolitan but I always eat the vanilla, then strawberry, then chocolate, and…I hate whole wheat bread.” 

Bucky nodded, his breathing irregular as he reached out for the cards again, giving them back.

“We can play this til you know everything about me, it’s okay,” Steve said as he watched Bucky take another card and hold it up. “Oh wow, a King, how much does that count for, is this like Blackjack and it’s a ten?” Watching Bucky nod, he took a deep breath, holding both hands up with fingers splayed. “My mom’s name is Sarah, I like apple shampoo, I drink my coffee with two creams, I suck at hockey, my favourite holiday is Christmas, I like Sam Adams beer, I’ve only left America once to go to Mexico, my first car was a Ford Escort that I crashed into a tree, the first time I got drunk I accidentally peed in the laundry hamper, and I love peanut butter.” 

This time, Bucky didn’t react at all, but his hand quickly went for the cards again. Though this time, after he shuffled them a little, he fanned them out and held them out to Steve, looking him in the eye as he shook all over. 

“You want me to…?” Steve asked, waiting for Bucky to nod before he reached out to select a card of his own, showing Bucky the five of diamonds. “You don’t have to…”

“I like doing yoga,” Bucky began, counting on his fingers as Steve had, still shaking all over as tears ran down his face. “I love bacon especially on cheeseburgers, I like Coke but not Pepsi, I can speak Russian and German, and….and I don’t remember what outside is like because I haven’t left this room since I was three.”

Steve had been about to offer to have a bacon cheeseburger and Coke delivered for lunch when he realized what Bucky had said, his words hitting him like ice water down his back. Fourteen years of imprisonment, an entire childhood lost, and for why, he still didn’t understand. But nothing he could think of justified what they were doing to him. 

“Bucky…” Steve began, about to try to hug him when Bucky picked the cards up and held them out again. Staring at the backs of them, dark blue with the company logo in silver, Steve didn’t know if he wanted to hear any more today. But if Bucky wanted to talk, there’s no way he could tell him no. Reaching out, he pulled out a card, flipping it over to reveal the eight of clubs. “Bucky, that’s a lot, if you can’t think of-“

“I had a family once, but they died in a car accident, my father, my mother, my sister…” Bucky began, dropping the cards to wrap his arms around himself again, his breathing shaky and uneven. “My arm was ripped off, I was dying, and Stark Industries heard about me somehow. They faked my death at the hospital, and then they brought me here and saved my life. They build an arm for me, but they did medical tests on me, but it wasn’t just me, there were others. I’m the only one the tests worked on, though, so they kept me here. I don’t know what happened to the others…I-O don't know if that's enough for eight...”

“What did they do to you? Did they hurt you?” Steve asked, ignoring the cards, protectiveness flaring up within him as he thought of Bucky being tested on. 

“…they made me a…” Bucky pursed his lips, shaking his head, his eyes down on the floor. “They made me able to carry children, they put a...inside me, there’s…it’s just fucked up. Father’s son is gay, so they made me…they made for him. So he could have heirs, Father says they need to have Stark children to carry on the name. They’ve told me all my life I’ll be his when I turn eighteen.” 

“Are…are you…?” Steve was shocked beyond words, not knowing where to even start with how terribly wrong this was. His morning with Peggy forgotten, all he could think of was Howard Stark kidnapping Bucky from the hospital only to subject him to tests so he could make a baby machine for his son. “D-do you even like men?” He didn’t want to think about Bucky being raped on top of everything. 

“…that’s the thing…I do…” Bucky laughed weakly, sniffing as he looked over at the picture of Tony Stark on his wall. “I think he’s handsome…and I don’t know if it’s because I actually feel that way or if they did something else to me. What if they brainwashed me? Or just put thoughts in my head somehow? I don’t…” Bucky looked away from Tony’s picture and back to Steve, shaking his head, his blue eyes brighter than ever through the tears. “I don’t know what is me and what is them.” 

Steve leaned back in the chair, feeling like someone had just knocked the wind out of him. How could he do this job knowing what they’d done to Bucky, but how could he abandon him? Ms. Carr had talked about Steve staying on after Bucky was moved, meaning he was going to be going with Bucky to Stark Mansion. He was going to be holding Bucky’s hand through getting pregnant, having kids, and the fallout of both on his tortured mind. He was convinced this could be enough to kill the young man, and he doubt Howard Stark cared for a second as long as he got a baby from his own bloodline. 

“…I wish I could…I wish I could get you out of here…” Steve said softly, trying to rack his brain to think of some way he could get Bucky out of here, but Bucky couldn’t cross the doorway without getting electrocuted. “If you can’t get out of here, we’ll get you out of the mansion somehow.” 

“Father said he’s installed a perimeter around the mansion, I won’t be able to leave there like I can’t leave here,” Bucky said softly, looking utterly defeated as he hugged himself tightly. “…if I did get out, I…I’m legally dead, I can have children and if I do get pregnant, there’s nowhere for me to go for help because no one knows what they did to me. No matter what I do, I have to hide away from the world for the rest of my life.” 

“Jesus…” Steve exhaled the breath he didn’t know he was holding in. “Bucky, is there anything, anything at all, you want from me? Is there a reason you’re telling me this now?” 

Bucky looked away for a moment, rocking a little as he clenched his eyes shut, trying to calm himself down, though it wasn’t working. The more he tried to push things from his head, the more they latched on, screaming that there was no part of him that was his own any more, that nothing about him was real, it was all manufactured by scientists in a lab. 

“…because I’m alone…” Bucky whispered weakly, his eyes meeting Steve’s again as they silently pleaded to him for help, his arms shaking as he held himself. “…I’m scared…”

“You don’t have to be…” Steve said as he got up from his chair, taking a seat next to Bucky on the bed and putting his arms around him tightly, pulling him against himself. “You’re not alone, you got it? I’m not going anywhere.”

“Please don’t go, please don’t…” Bucky begged, slowly letting go of himself to cling to Steve, burying his face against the man’s shoulder, his tears soaking through the thin material of Steve’s blue t-shirt. 

“I would never leave you,” Steve said, realizing to himself how deeply he meant that once it left his lips. “I swear to you, Bucky, as long as I’m living, I’m going to be with you.” 

That morning when he’d ended his marriage with Peggy, he never imagined pledging himself to another person, not for a good long time. Though to do it right now felt like his only option, he wasn’t going to make Bucky suffer any more than he already had. If that meant sleeping on the couch in the other room to give Bucky some sense of peace, he was going to do it. He was going to do everything he could to make Bucky’s existence better, he didn’t care what he was going to have to give up to do just that. 

If his life could be good for something, he was convinced that helping Bucky was the best thing he could possibly do.


	5. Pineapple and Eagles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve gets closer with Bucky and comes to a realization about himself.

When Steve had informed Ms. Carr that he thought it would be best if he stayed close to Bucky, he was surprised how fast she had one of the rooms down the hall renovated for him. He was glad that there didn’t seem to be a problem with his marriage splitting up, and that living on lower level eight appeared to work for everyone involved. He didn’t have a kitchen down here, but the cafeteria was open all hours to provide for all the different shifts, and no one cared if he used the company credit card on take out. He missed the couch outside of Bucky’s room at first, but after a few weeks, he felt completely at home in his new room.

“Morning, Buck,” Steve said, walking in with two smoothies in hand, setting Bucky’s into the scanner as the nurse finished up with his blood pressure. “Morning, Christine, everything okay today?” 

“Everything looks great,” Christine said as she put her stethoscope around her neck. “Try to eat a little more, Bucky, it’s just a few pounds but you should try to gain them back.” 

“Okay…” Bucky said softly, putting his dark blue hoodie back on, lying back on his bed. “See you later…”

“Later!” Christine smiled, waving at Steve before she took the blood pressure machine from the room and disappeared. 

“You going to tell me what that was about? How’d you lose weight if your calories are regulated so closely?” Steve asked, taking Bucky’s smoothie over to his nightstand before he sat down himself in his chair. “You had like four slices of pizza for supper last night.” 

“…it’s my stomach, I…” Bucky tugged his blanket up further so it covered his shoulders, curling into a ball underneath it. “Every time I think about leaving, about having kids, I get sick. What if Tony hates me? What if I’m just…kept in the basement alone to have his children and never see the light of day again? What if I’m just some slave to them?” 

“First off, I’m going to be there with you, so you’re not going to be alone. They already said I could move with you,” Steve said, reaching out to put his hand on Bucky’s legs to give it a squeeze. “I promise you, I’m going to make this as good as I can for you. Whatever happens, I’m here for you, got it?” 

Bucky nodded, slowly sitting up to pick up his smoothie, taking a small sip. 

“I’m glad you’ll be there, but I don’t want to wreck your life either. Is this pineapple?” Bucky asked after a mouthful, looking into the smoothie, trying to look for anything that would distract him from his train of thought. 

“Yeah, it’s frozen pineapple, pineapple juice, vanilla protein powder, and vanilla Greek yogourt. You said you didn’t like mango, I thought pineapple was safe,” Steve said, sitting across from him, leaning forward on the back of the chair as he ignored the comment about Bucky wrecking his life, not wanting to get into an argument about it. “I can make you a strawberry banana one if you want.” 

“No, I like pineapple, I’ve only had it a couple times though, so I was wondering if that’s what it was,” Bucky said as he took another drink, holding the glass in both hands as he looked at Steve. “…so what’s it like living here by choice? It’s got to be different than this.” 

“It’s not bad, really, I had to figure out a new running route and I’m getting used to delivered groceries, but it’s okay,” Steve said, not wanting to complain, not when Bucky had it so much worse. “It took me a while to get used to not having windows, I always feel like it’s night in my room, it’s not nearly as bright as yours.” 

“Windows…I know what they are but I’ve never really seen one,” Bucky said, laughing dryly before taking a drink. “They look great.” 

“Oh, they’re terrible, people are always falling out of them, they let animals in your house, rain just keeps pouring in,” Steve said, shaking his head and trying to look as serious as possible. Meeting Bucky’s eyes, they both quickly gave way to laughter. “You’re not missing anything, I promise, it’s more of a hassle than anything.”

“So what kinds of animals? Birds I’m assuming,” Bucky said once he’d calmed down, finishing off his smoothie, and setting the glass aside with a smile on his face. 

“Oh there are birds. Sometimes you just get little ones that want to fly in and check things out, but then you have the full sized eagles that come flying in to steal your food or any other small animal that’s made their way in,” Steve said, setting his glass with Bucky’s, leaning forward in the chair. 

“What if you shut them?” Bucky asked, pulling his blanket over so he could pull it around his shoulders. 

“Then you run out of air, plus most animals can open them back up again,” Steve smiled, glad that he could be silly with Bucky, it seemed to be lightening the mood in the room. It amazed him that Bucky could still have a sense of humour after everything he’d been through. Steve was pretty sure that was what was keeping him going. 

“So basically you’re telling me that if you have a window, it’s a constant battle with wildlife and weather, and you might suffocate if you don’t open it enough?” Bucky chuckled as he leaned back against the wall, wrapping the blanket around him. “Are you saying that they did me a favour not putting me on the top floor?” 

“If only for the eagle attacks,” Steve said, smiling through the sadness he felt welling in his chest. As funny as this was, it was just another example of what Bucky had been deprived of, normal everyday things that he’d taken for granted.

“Jesus Christ, how many eagles are there out there?” Bucky laughed, his hands emerging from the blanket to take out his hair elastic, reaching for the brush beside the empty glasses to push his hair back neatly. 

“Oh, tons, swarms of them,” Steve grinned, watching Bucky fix his hair, hoping it was a good sign that he’d be in a brighter mood today, despite the worries on his mind. “If you eat anything on the street, eagles will attack you for it. That’s why people have leashes for toddlers, in case an eagle tries to steal them.” 

“Okay now I don’t know if you’re joking about the toddler leashes, that can’t be real,” Bucky tossed the brush back over to the table, the sides of his hair gathered nicely in a ponytail whilst the rest lay down just past his shoulders. 

“Actually they are, and they’re not a bad idea if you’ve watched toddlers at all,” Steve said, taking out his phone to look up a picture of one to show it to Bucky. “They’re small and determined, so this is a good way to keep them out of traffic or off the rails in the subway.” 

“Wow…” Bucky said, looking at the picture of the kid wearing a harness with a leash attached. “…how old is that kid?”

“I’m not great with kids ages, but I guess maybe three?” Steve said, turning his phone to get another look, thinking that the kid could be between two and four, three being the safest guess in his mind. 

“That’s what I thought…” murmured Bucky, reminded again of how little he’d been when this all began. “I wonder if my kids will need leashes. I don’t know how much I’m going to be involved in the actual raising part, though, I shouldn’t get my hopes up about it.” 

“I…” Steve began, but he quickly realized he didn’t have anything to say to that. It was realistic that Bucky would be just having the babies instead of being there to raise them. It made him sick to think about, but he was pretty certain there was a room just like this one in the Stark Mansion basement. “I don’t know what to say, I don’t want to lie to you, or tell you the truth, and I wouldn’t believe what Stark would say about it either way. There’s no way of knowing until it happens. Maybe Tony will prove to be more trustworthy, and less…” Leaning in, Steve covered his mouth and whispered to Bucky. “Fucking insane” 

“I told you, they don’t record me, they don’t want to risk Tony finding out. The doctors that tested on me and, well, made me this, there’s no record of it in Stark Industries’s database, or that’s what Father said,” Bucky said, crossing his arms over his chest, and letting out a low sigh as he looked down at the bed in front of them. “You’re right though, there’s nothing I can do about that now, and there won’t be anything I can do about it then. I might never know my kids.” 

“Hey…” Steve said, getting up from his chair to sit on the bed next to Bucky, pulling him into a hug with one arm. “Don’t worry, I’ve heard Tony is nice, just kind of weird. Not weird, that’s not really a nice word, but…quirky. I haven’t met him myself, but I know he’s really smart, and that he’s charitable. Don’t worry about it now when it’s just speculation, okay? You’ll drive yourself insane.” 

“It gives me something to do though, doesn’t it?” Bucky laughed sadly, staying rigid. 

“There are other things you can do,” Steve said gently, not moving his arm from around Bucky. “I’m not stupid, I know how limited you are in here, I’m not trying to be insensitive, I’m sorry. I just meant-“

“It’s not even that…it’s not about going outside,” Bucky interrupted, bringing a hand up to rub his eyes. “As nice as it would be to go outside, I mostly want…I want my feelings to be my own, I want to know if I like someone because I truly do, or because they fucked me up so much.” 

“If you feel it, and you believe it, then it’s real,” Steve said to him, rubbing his shoulder a little. “They’re still your feelings.” He didn’t know if what he was saying was true, he had no idea what Howard Stark did to Bucky’s mind, but he had to say something to make him feel better, he didn’t want Bucky to suffer any more than he already was. 

“Even if they came from a medical experiment?” Bucky whispered, turning his head to look Steve in the eye. “Even if they give me to Tony and I really like him, why would he want to be with a mess like me? That’s why I worry about ending up in a prison again, Tony and his normal boyfriend raising our kids. I couldn’t blame him.” 

“It would be his loss,” Steve said frankly, staring back at Bucky into his sky blue eyes, wishing he could lift every worry off him. “I’ve only known you a couple months and I know you’re brilliant, you can pick things up so fast, and you’re kind, which I don’t think many people would be if they’d been through what you have. You’re curious, you ask lots of intelligent questions, and you’re pretty good at answering when I ask you things. You have a good sense of humour, or close to mine anyway, and…you make people want to like you. From the moment I saw you, I liked you.” 

Bucky stared at Steve for a moment, not knowing what to say to the compliments he was giving him. He’d never thought very highly of himself, and even his last companion hadn’t said things like that, and he’d claimed to be in love with Bucky. He felt like for the first time in his life, someone was appreciating who he was, someone genuinely liked him, it was far beyond his wildest expectations. 

“Steve…?” Bucky said softy, not taking his eyes from Steve’s, studying the little fleck of green swimming in seas of blue. 

“Yeah, Buck?” Steve responded, still rubbing Bucky’s shoulder as he watched his expression, wondering what it was that had Bucky so stumped. He could be slow with decisions, Steve was used to that, but this was the first time he could really see Bucky struggling with something. “Whatever it is, I promise you, I won’t get upset.” He was waiting for another horrible secret to drop, another reason to hate Howard Stark and to want to protect Bucky at all costs. He told himself he would be prepared for what Bucky had on his mind.

So when Bucky leaned his head on Steve’s shoulder, wrapping both arms around his waist, Steve felt like his heart was going to break inside him. Pulling Bucky into a hug with both arms, Steve held him tightly, leaning his own head against Bucky’s to be that much closer to him. Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath, breathing in Bucky’s shampoo and body wash, realizing how much he didn’t want to let Bucky go right now, or ever again. 

“I just want you…” Bucky whispered just loud enough for Steve to hear, pleading to be taken from this place and spared the fate that had awaited him since he was a small child. 

Steve felt like he was being hit with a tidal wave of emotion, tears pricking the corners of his eyes as he held onto Bucky with everything in him. In the time he’d known Bucky, he’d grown very attached to him. He loved coming into the white room every morning, he loved playing video games, or with one of the many board games, or just sitting and talking about all the things Bucky had missed, and what Steve was going to bring him next. He loved sharing everything he liked with Bucky, and god, he loved seeing the young man’s face light up, it made his heart sing every time. 

“You have me,” Steve reassured him, his voice low and soft as well, rubbing Bucky’s back in slow circles. “I’m not going anywhere.” 

Nothing, not even Howard Stark, was going to come between them now. He was going to make sure of it.


	6. Safety Measures

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve meets up with a friend and does something risky, and Bucky is afraid for his future.

After telling Bucky he would be back in a few hours, Steve set off on his motorcycle to a coffee shop by his old apartment, feeling like he had a heavy stone in his stomach. This hadn’t been an easy decision, but nothing had been easy since he realized he loved Bucky. He knew what had happened the last time someone had fallen for Bucky, and he had to accept that it was a real possibility that he was endangering his life. Even getting on his motorcycle that morning had been stressful, not knowing if it was going to explode when he turned the key. Obviously Howard Stark hadn’t figured out what was going on yet, and it had to stay that way, even if it meant never telling Bucky how he felt about him. 

Pulling into a spot near the cafe, Steve immediately spotted the person he was there to meet, giving him a wave as he walked closer. He hoped he wasn’t making a huge mistake right now, but it was the only thing he could think to do. He owed it to Bucky to do something, even in the worst case scenario. 

“Steve, is that your bike? That is a nice bike,” Sam said as he looked over at Steve’s new motorcycle with a whistle, clearly impressed. “You’re enjoying your raise, aren’t you? How much did this set you back?”

“Nothing, actually, they said they’d give me a company car, I asked for a company motorcycle,” Steve said with a grin, holding open the door of the cafe. “I haven’t even spent much of my raise yet, they let me put everything on my company card.” 

“Jesus. Are they hiring? Because I’ll give up being a pilot for whatever the hell is is you do now. What do you do now?” Sam asked as he walked over to a table in the corner, taking a seat and picking up a menu. “Why am I looking at this, I want the Denver omelette.” 

“I think you might be be better off where you are,” Steve said as he took a seat himself, not bothering with the menu either. He didn’t feel very hungry at the moment, but he knew he had to order something. “I haven’t had one of those for a long time, that and a coffee sounds perfect right now.” 

“So what else have you been up to? How’s…I mean, are you still talking to Peggy? How’s that going?” Sam asked him, leaning forward in his chair, a little curious why he hadn’t seen his best friend in so long. If he wasn’t sure of it, he’d swear that Steve was seeing something and hiding her from him. 

“It’s going good, we’re meeting through a mediator to dissolve everything and there’s no hard feelings so it’s been pretty easy so far. At least I know it won’t cost me an arm and a leg,” Steve said with a smile, turning his head to place his order with the waitress before looking back to Sam once she left. “Everything’s going as well as I could ask, and she’s seeing someone now, so she’s happy. That’s what I want most out of this, I’ll always love her, and she deserves to be with a guy that puts a smile on her face.”

“I still can’t believe you broke up. I guess you don’t tell me everything,” Sam teased, picking up a sugar packet, fiddling with it as he waited to put it into his coffee. “I’m happy for you if you’re both good.” 

“Sam, I didn’t even know for a long time, I thought I was just in a rut or something,” Steve admitted, figuring he’d be as honest as he could be, he didn’t like lying to his best friend. “I didn’t realize until I got this job how deep that rut was, and how much I didn’t want to be in it any more. It was like…like the sun finally shone down on me.” 

He couldn’t think of a better way to describe Bucky, he felt like he could breathe again after drowning for years. Even with the threat of being murdered hanging over him, he wouldn’t change taking his job, he wanted to be near Bucky, even if just as his friend. 

“Wow, I didn’t realize things were that far gone,” Sam said, pouring his sugar into his newly delivered coffee, adding some cream along with it. “So what’s the new job like? You’ve been pretty vague about it, I mean…I just know you’re rich and you have a sweet bike now.” 

“I’m basically looking after someone, it’s not that…it’s…” Steve pursed his lips, taking a few deep breaths as he struggled with his morals versus his sense of logic. He didn’t know what to do, he had gone in this deciding to do one thing, but now he was drawn to telling Sam the truth. He just didn’t want either of them to die for it. 

“Are you okay? You’re kind of pale,” Sam said, a bit concerned for his friend, especially considering Steve had never had a problem speaking to him before. Something was up. “Steve, be honest with me, I’m the guy who showered you and put you to bed after your twenty first birthday party, I’ve seen everything, I know you. You don’t have to hide anything from me.” 

“It might be safer to…” Steve laughed weakly, keeping his voice down as he picked up his coffee and took a long drink of it. “Sam, I don’t want you to get hurt, and the people involved in this can really make that happen.” 

“Steve,” Sam said, leaning forward after giving the room a quick scan to make sure no one was within hearing distance of them. There were a few people sitting over by the window, and a couple more near the bathroom, but they were pretty secluded where they were. “If you think you’re in danger, I want you to tell me.” 

Staring into Sam’s eyes for a moment, Steve reached into the inner pocket of his leather jacket, pulling out a sealed white envelope and setting on the table. Setting his hand on it, he paused for a moment before pushing it towards Sam. 

“Don’t open that. I’ll tell you what’s in it, but it needs to stay sealed,” Steve insisted, his hands returning to his coffee cup, lifting it to take a sip and looking down at the surface of the liquid as his hands trembled. 

“What is it?” Sam asked, picking it up and putting it in his own pocket before leaning forward again. 

“…Howard Stark…he stole a kid, he stole a bunch of them though I don’t know how many, and he oversaw medical testing on him. He was only three years old, they faked his death after his family was killed, they…” Steve looked around the room nervously as subtly as he could, looking for anyone that could have possibly known he would be here, or someone that slipped in after he did. “Stark’s son is gay, he came out when was a teenager, and his father decided that if he wouldn’t give him heirs the old fashioned way, he’d do it another way. He made this kid, this boy, able to have children, and now that he’s almost eighteen, it’s coming time to hand him over. He’s a prisoner now, and he’ll be a prisoner then, and I’m the only one he has, and Sam, I…I fucking love him, I can’t watch him get raped to have some billionaire’s children. It’s…it’s fucking wrong.” 

Sam wasn’t sure what to say, his jaw hanging open a little as he processed everything Steve had said, shocked to say the least. He didn’t know what he’d expected when he’d asked Steve what was wrong, but it wasn’t anything close to the truth. He was pretty sure that he couldn’t have imagined that. 

“So they’ve threatened you if you say anything, I assume?” Sam asked, keeping his voice low. “How closely are you being watched?” 

“I have no idea, it’s Howard Stark though, Sam, he could afford to pay everyone in the city to watch me. I know that the guy who had my job before, he felt in love with Bucky too and he conveniently died in a car accident,” Steve said, quieting down for a moment as the waitress delivered their food, smiling at her politely and waiting until she was gone before he began to speak again. “I can’t assume I’m safe. Not ever. So what I need you to do is take that envelope, and if two weeks ever go by without me contacting you, I want you to take that envelope and I want you to give it to who you think you can trust most. I don’t know who Stark has in his corner, I don’t know if the police are safe, but maybe the media is.” 

“And there’s no way out of this? There’s no way you can take this kid and run or something?” Sam asked, his breakfast forgotten as he concentrated on his friend. “Is there anything you can do for yourself?” 

“He can’t leave that room, he’s got a chip in him, it’ll electrocute him. And even if I could, I don’t know where I could run that would be safe for both of us,” Steve said, defeat in his voice as he stared down at his meal, picking up a piece of potato and taking a bite, not wanting to look suspicious by not eating. “I love him, Sam, I’m not leaving him, I’m not going to abandon him to a life of slavery, having kids and maybe never even getting to see them or raise them. His existence can’t be just breeding with Tony Stark, I have to be there for when he needs me.”  
“…I know I can’t talk you out of this, I know how you are with someone you love and...” Sam took a deep breath, staring to dig into his omelette as well, taking his cue from Steve to start acting like he didn’t hear his best friend was in mortal danger. “I want you to check in with me more than that, Steve. Every other day at least, but I won’t hand over the envelope for two weeks. I just want to know that my friend is alive.” 

Steve nodded a little, taking a reluctant bite of his omelette as he pretended to be interested in his plate. He knew what he was unloading on Sam, and he knew how it was going to affect him. They’d been best friends since high school, and as much as they’d yet to admit to each other, they were brothers in each others hearts. 

“I’m sorry, Sam, I don’t want to unload all of this on you, but I don’t know who else to give that envelope to,” Steve said lowly, feeling genuinely guilty for all of this, but he couldn’t let Bucky suffer if he died. He would do anything for him, and if that meant doing this, he was going to do it. 

“I’m your friend, Steve, through anything, not just the good times,” Sam said, reaching over to squeeze his arm, forcing a smile. “I hope you can be happy with him, in some way.” 

“I just hope he’ll be happy with me,” Steve said with a weak laugh as the waitress came to refill their coffees. “Goddamn does he deserve it.” 

“You both do,” Sam said with confidence, turning back to his meal, hoping that both Steve and Bucky had happiness on top of safety, but he didn’t know how realistic that was. He wasn’t about to give Steve something else to worry about, though. He was going to be as positive about this as he could be. “I hope you make each other smile just looking at each other.”

“…you never said anything about Bucky being a guy, that didn’t shock you?” Steve asked, his laugh a little more genuine. 

“You think that was the shocking part about what you said? Really?” Sam said, chuckling a bit himself, shaking his head as he built himself a sandwich with toast and omelette. “I didn’t think you could surprise me any more but damn, I don’t think you could have possibly…” 

“You’d like him, you really would,” Steve said, sadness in his voice as the corner of his mouth curled up in a smile, unaware of the tears in his eyes. “He’s so special, Sam, and not because what his body can do, but for who he is despite all of this. How he can smile still is beyond me, but then I see his face and hear his voice, and…holy shit, he just gets me every single time.” Sniffing, he reached for his napkin with a shaking hand, picking it up to dry his eyes. He hadn’t cried about this, he was always the one trying to stay strong for Bucky. It never occurred to him that he needed someone to stay strong for him. 

“I’ll meet him one day, Steve, and I’ll tell him how much you love him, right in front of you too so you get embarrassed,” Sam said, reaching over to the table beside them to steal one of the napkins, setting it down by Steve’s utensils. He knew he should probably think about this more, but he knew a good gut feeling when he had one, and he knew deep in his heart that Steve would do the same for him. “As of now, you two aren’t alone in this. If you need someone to help break him out and fly you two to safety, I will.”

His eyes meeting Sam’s, Steve knew that he meant what he was saying. If things got bad, if they had a chance, he was going to do his damndest to get Bucky out of his prison, and now with Sam, he had a much better chance at doing that. 

 

~~~~~~~~ 

 

Walking from the elevator, Steve carried a box with a chocolate chip banana muffin for Bucky, figuring he should have a treat if Steve was able to go out and eat. Wondering if he should have gotten Bucky some fancy latte or something, he was about to enter the room when a man came out the door with a box in his hands filled with a bunch of Bucky’s favourite video games. Wide eyed, Steve ran into the room to see why they were clearing out Bucky’s things, muffin forgotten in his hand. Stepping inside, he immediately saw Howard Stark standing in the middle of Bucky’s bedroom as the young man sat on the bed in tears. There were a couple others, including Bucky’s nurse, and they all seemed to be packing all the contents of his room. Setting down the box, Steve stepped through the doorway, heading towards Bucky’s bed. Reaching down to him, Steve took his hand as his attention turned to Howard, furious that they’d do anything to Bucky without him there to comfort him. 

“Steve!!” Bucky gasped, relieved as he took the older man’s hand and squeezed it tightly, pulling him closer. “I didn’t think you were going to make it, I didn’t know if I was going to see you again.” 

“What is going on? Where are you taking his things?” Steve said, his voice stern with a ribbon of anger weaved through it, not caring who he was talking to. Bucky was his job, he had to keep him calm and happy, and he wouldn’t be either of those things with his things being taken as Stark loomed over him. “Why wasn’t I informed that something was happening today so I could be here for him?” 

“Plans have changed a little, my son will be returning home from a project he was working on in Taiwan tomorrow, and I want to have Bucky there to meet him. I think we’ve waited long enough for this,” Howard said with a pleasant smile, acting like this had all been an innocent misunderstanding, not that they were trying to whisk away Bucky from under Steve’s nose. “You’re welcome to continue your position at our mansion, of course, you’ll be given a room near Bucky’s like you have now, and the same rules will apply for him.”

“Which rules are those? Is he going into a room there like he’s in here? Will he be electrocuted if he tries to leave?” Steve asked, realizing as he spoke that he had to control himself before he escalated all of this and made it a lot worse. Watching the others leave with Bucky’s things, he wanted to knock the boxes out of their hands. 

“He’s still got the chip in his neck, the perimeter of the mansion will keep him inside if Tony insists on having him live upstairs, but if he’d rather Bucky live downstairs, a room has been constructed for him,” Howard just smiled, looking like the cover of the company magazine as he masked his true feelings behind the Stark persona he seemed to slip into every time he tried to justify what he’d done to Bucky. “A lot of time, money, and effort have gone into making Bucky what he is, Mr. Rogers, wouldn’t it be silly to not insure that he stays where he needs to be?” 

Steve took a deep breath, holding his tongue as a litany of cursing ran through his head along with the image of himself punching Howard Stark’s teeth down his throat. Squeezing Bucky’s hand tightly, he fought to will himself to be calm, taking a few deep breaths as he thought of something he could possibly say to that. 

“Bucky’s going to need me if you’re bringing him there, you can’t try to sneak him away from me,” Steve said, his voice clipped as he tried to keep his anger from seeping into it. “He’s terrified of this whole transition, and it would only scare him more to do it alone.” 

“It was never our intention to sneak him away,” Howard lied, though his smooth voice made the statement sound as innocent as it possibly could. “We’re just moving his things right now, we thought he’d be more comfortable with them there. 

“Please don’t make me go, please don’t…” Bucky pleaded, choked with tears, feeling like he was going to be sick as he clung to Steve’s hand. “I don’t want to do this, I don’t want to…I can’t do this…I can’t, please don’t make me…” 

“Bucky, we’ve been over this before,” Howard began with a tired sigh, which only made Bucky sob harder. “You’ll have anything you want, everything in the world, and you only need to be pregnant for nine months at a time.”

“And what happens to me when he’s done with me?” Bucky asked desperately, his wild hair framing his tear drenched cheeks, eyes bright blue and red lined. 

“…Bucky, you know we can’t let you go. You’re legally dead, and you’re very unique, and that means you’re going to live a different life from everyone else,” Howard said without much sympathy as the boy broke down in front of him. “The rest of your room will be packed up and sent to the mansion, it shouldn’t take you both long to unpack. I’ll leave you to it for now.”

Watching as Howard left, Bucky brought his knees up to his chest, burying his face against them as he wept brokenly, his hand still clutching Steve’s. Even as Steve let go of him to wrap both arms around him, Bucky didn’t calm down, only as he got tired did his tears start to slow. 

“I can’t do this…” Bucky wept, shaking like a leaf, feeling like he was going to be sick to his stomach. “Steve, help me, I can’t do this…”

“I’m going to figure something out, okay? I don’t know how or what or when, but I’m not going to let them keep you in a basement for your entire life. Maybe if…the chip in your neck, could you just stand the shock if I run you through?” Steve was pretty sure Ms. Carr had said the shock wouldn’t badly hurt Bucky, but he didn’t want to just try it. 

“No, it builds up. It starts off not that bad, but the longer I’m outside of my cage, the shock gets worse. It takes about a minute and a half to kill me,” Bucky said softly, his shoulder sagging as he felt defeat wash over him. “They didn’t tell Jack the truth either, he wanted to get me out of here, but it doesn’t exactly sound good that they’re more willing for me to die than get away.” 

“What else did they lie to me about you?” Steve asked, knowing he needed every detail to be perfect if he was going to plan to steal Bucky. He would be going against the resources of one of the biggest companies on the entire planet, and all he was was an artist who’d settled for a desk job. 

“They told me you were coming with me to move,” Bucky sniffed, slowly relaxing in Steve’s arms, though he felt no less terrified of what lay ahead for him. “Father said when he walked in here that they were hoping you’d be a while, they’d even brought the box for me.” 

“Excuse me, the box?” Steve said, looking around for a second before his eyes fell on what looked like a large chest at the foot of Bucky’s bed. “That?”

“Yes, they…Father said I didn’t need to see anything more than my new room, I don’t think he wants to somehow give me some sense of hope, I’m much more useful broken down,” Bucky shook his head, tightening his grip on Steve as he tried to ignore the box, sick at the thought of going inside it only to emerge into another place like this. 

“I won’t go out again. I’m sorry I went out this morning, but it had to be done,” Steve rubbed Bucky’s back, scowling as two of Howard’s workers came back into the room to keep packing. Pulling Bucky closer, he whispered into his ear under the guise of a hug, hoping that no one suspected anything. “Trust me.” 

“I do…” Bucky continued the hug, clenching his eyes shut as he tried to shut out the world and forget that the day he’d dreaded had finally come. He had to believe that if he had Steve, he would have hope, and more importantly, that he’d always have love.


	7. A New Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Bucky move into Stark mansion, and Tony finds out the truth.

Just after eight in the morning, Howard left his bedroom and walked down the long hall to the bedroom Tony had chosen for himself as a teenager. He wanted to talk to his son about their new house guests, figuring that surprising him with something like this well, he could explain it so much better than Steve or Bucky could. He could make Tony see what a gift Bucky was, and he wanted to see his son’s expression when he realized Howard had fixed that problem for the family. Knocking on the bedroom door, Howard waited a moment before letting himself in. Seeing a bag on the neatly made bed and no other sign that Tony had been there, he realized that his son was more predictable than he’d ever want to admit. Heading downstairs, he didn’t waste any time, going straight past the kitchen and dining room without a glance, and towards Tony’s workshop. Not bothering to knock, he stepped inside, able to hear the sounds of Tony’s music, though it was a group he couldn’t identify. He’d given up on music after the seventies, it all sounded like noise to him, which was why it was so much more satisfying to be the one to turn it off. 

“Tony, I know you’re in here,” Howard said, looking around the room to figure out where his son was hiding, his best guess being over by the pile of metal he’d watched Tony bring in piece by piece. “This place is a mess.” 

“True,” Tony yawned, sitting up from the opposite corner where Howard had guessed, still holding a screwdriver in his hand. “But I’m not cleaning it or I won’t know where everything is. It’s an overused excuse but…here we are.” Ducking back down, he began to work on the robot he was working on, preferring that to a conversation with his father. 

“Stand up, I’m not talking to air,” Howard said sharply, heading over to look at what he was working on, wondering if it was something they could use, or if it’s more like the chocolate milk machine Tony built when he was nine. Even he was surprised how big the explosion was. “What is this? It looks like a…table monster.” 

“It’s for me when I’m working, you can’t knock it over,” Tony turned it on, picking up a half full water bottle, and setting it on the flat part. Taking out his phone, he walked it over past Howard on clawed feet, steering it up the wall as the table remained in place, until it was hanging from the ceiling. “See, it’s doing that part okay, the part it’s bad at…” Motioning for his father to step back, the robot came crashing down, the water bottle rolling under a desk as it went quiet. 

“So you’ve developed a servant to hold your water bottle for you wherever you want?” Howard asked, leaning down to pick it up so he could examine it. “The joints in the legs, I think you could do with more.” 

“It’s for tools too. Or tequila. Or hard drugs,” Tony said as he ignored the criticism, picking the robot off the floor. Putting it back on his workspace, he brought a light down lower so he could fiddle with it. “Maybe we could get it to replace the Pope.” 

“Have you slept at all? What time did you get in?” Howard asked, ignoring his smart mouthed child, wondering how he turned out like that between him and his late wife. 

“After two, and no, I’m not tired,” Tony pointed over at the coffee machine which was still half full, an empty mug sitting not far away. “So can I ask why you’re in here? Because you don’t come in here. You text or send someone in here to get me, or you just wait until you see me.” 

“I have something to tell you, and I need you to really listen to me, because this isn’t something small,” Howard said, clearing his throat as he thought about the careful speech he’d been planning for fourteen years, thought for the life of him, he couldn’t remember a word of it right now. “Tony, I have a solution to our heir issue.”

“You mean your heir issue,” Tony corrected him, pouring himself more coffee into his large ‘Sexy Grandma’ mug. “I already said no to the surrogate, I don’t have time to raise a kid, and I don’t want my kid being raised by a nanny. So, as I’ve been saying for years, no. You should have had more kids if you like them that much.” 

“What if I said you could have them with a man? That he could carry your child?” Howard stepped forward, watching the confusion form on Tony’s face as he gave him a smile. “After you came out, I spoke to some doctors, and they devised a way for a male to bear children.” 

“Is the mysterious answer to this riddle trans men? I am aware of the existence of men with uteruses,” Tony took a sip of coffee, a strange feeling of dread coming over him looking at Howard’s expression. He was pleased with himself about something. “Look, Dad, I’m not looking to get set up with anyone. I’m sure he’s very nice, but I’m not into dating right now, and that really wouldn’t be fair to him. It’s nice he volunteered but…”

“He didn’t volunteer for this, Tony, we made him for you,” Howard said, excitement in his voice as he was finally getting to reveal the fruits of this long process. “He’s been waiting for you for fourteen years.” 

Tony set down his mug with a shaking hand, staring back at his father with wide eyes and a dropped jaw. He felt like someone had dumped ice water down his back, his stomach settling in a knot. 

“…what do you mean you made him?” Tony asked, mentally begging for this to be more innocent than it sounded. 

“I mean, when he was three years old, we saved him after a car accident killed his family, and we brought him to Stark Industries. We put a synthesized womb inside him, cloned from his sister’s, and we’ve housed him ever since,” Howard said, frowning as Tony leaned on his work station, a hand over his heart. “Tony, what’s wrong?” 

“Please tell me you’re not serious. This is a really fucked up joke…” Tony said, putting a hand over his mouth as he sat down on his work station, his breathing getting heavier and faster. “This isn’t funny…” 

“He’s not a joke. His name is James, but he likes to go by Bucky, he’s turning eighteen tomorrow,” Howard said, walking over to Tony, putting his hand on his shoulder. “You’re going to love him.” 

“Don’t touch me…don’t TOUCH me!” Tony pulled away, staring at Howard in disgust, nausea rolling over him. “What have you fucking done??” 

“I’ve solved our problem!” Howard said with a little laugh, trying to play it off as nothing. “You get your man, I get my grandchildren, it’s a win-win situation.

“And what does Bucky want??” Tony yelled back at him, burying his face in his hands as panic tore through his body. “I’m going to be fucking sick…"

“What does it matter what Bucky wants? Tony, he’s not a person, not any more, he’s been removed from the grid, he died when he was three,” Howard said, shaking his head at his son’s reaction to his wonderful news. “He knows he’s yours, he’s always known that.”

“Shut up, shut up, shut up…” Tony didn’t know what to do, he felt like his heart was being squeezed in his chest. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing, he couldn’t believe what his father was admitting to. “You stole a child, mutilated him, and locked him up…for me? And you didn’t think that I would have a fucking problem with it?” 

“I thought you might at first, but that you’d see sense,” Howard said, figuring he was going to have to speed things up. “Come on, I’ll take you to meet him, you’ll feel better once you get to know him.” 

“Yes, I want to see him! Now!” Tony shouted, standing up, his brain throwing questions and fears at him faster than he could process them. 

“Alright, I’ll lead the way,” Howard said with a relaxed laugh, trying to diffuse the situation as much as he could. Honestly, he thought Tony was just being dramatic, he probably needed to get some rest and some actual food. “Tony, once you meet him, it’ll all make sense…”

Tony didn’t say anything as Howard led him through the house, trying to make himself take long, deep breaths to keep himself from losing what little control he had left. He wanted to cry, his father, the only parent he had left, had done something so reprehensible that he had no idea what his next step was going to be. He didn’t even know what they would begin to charge him with, or if Howard’s lawyers would let him slip away. The only thing he could think was that he had to see Bucky, he had to make sure he was okay, and then he had to figure out how to right what Howard did to him. Walking into Howard’s home office, Tony didn’t compliment his father on a trap door well hidden as his desk moved to the side to reveal a stairway. 

“When you meet Bucky, don’t scream or act dramatic, you’ll scare him, he’s still in a bit of shock from his voyage here,” Howard said as he lead Tony down the stairs and into a room much like the one Bucky was used to. Only this time, there was another bedroom sharing the space of the exercise room, with a small fridge and hot plate. “He’s just fine, little nervous, but he’s okay.” 

Tony stepped off the bottom stair, looking into the clear bedroom at a tall blonde sitting on a bed next to another person with their face buried against their legs. “…so which one? Why are there two of them?” 

“Oh, the blond man is Steve Rogers, he’s been acting as a handler of sorts to Bucky,” Howard said casually as if he’d just introduced Tony to his new secretary. 

“So let me get this straight, he’s so okay he needs a handler??” Tony said loudly, demanding clarification and the truth from his father. 

“I’m not his handler,” Steve said at roughly the same volume from the other side of the clear plastic, keeping his arm around Bucky as he looked over at Tony suspiciously. “I’m his friend.” 

“See, they’re friends, Bucky’s just being shy,” Howard said with a laugh, glad that Steve had unknowingly made things better for him. “Steve stayed down here to keep Bucky company, but we’ll be giving him a bedroom upstairs.”

“Uh huh. Steve Rogers, how do you get in and out of that room?” Tony asked, looking around until he spotted a control panel. “Which button?” 

“The big blue one on the right,” Steve answered, not moving from his spot. 

“Fabulous,” Tony said sarcastically, hitting the button before going to open the door, standing outside of it. “Okay, you’re free, I suggest you get the fuck away from my father. I’ll set you up with what you want and you can live anywhere in the world, just not in my basement. Come on, get moving, this isn’t happening now or at any point in time.” 

He’d expected to see Bucky scramble for the door, but he didn’t move from Steve’s side, not even peeking to get a look at what was going on. Tony’s eyes moved to Steve’s next, looking for an answer he didn’t think he wanted to hear. 

“He’s got a chip in him somewhere that…your father says if he crosses the threshold of the house, he’ll be electrocuted, and it will just keep getting worse until he gets back in the safe zone of the house, or….or he dies,” Steve began, immediately liking Tony more than Howard, feeling sure that things were going to be better with him around already. “And if he gets pregnant, only your father’s people can treat him, neither of us has any idea what he’s done to Bucky, not really.”

“…Jesus CHRIST!” Tony swore, leaning on Bucky’s dresser as he ran a hand through his messy hair, trying not to throw up on the floor as he gave himself a moment to process this. He wasn’t doing well, he just wanted to go upstairs and empty the liquor cabinet and forget that his father had done something so reprehensible that Tony didn’t know if he should shoot him or call the police. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me…you’ve got to be fucking KIDDING me!”

“Tony…” Howard started, walking over to him to calm his son, not wanting him to scare Bucky on their first meeting. 

“DON’T!” Tony snapped, standing upright again, looking over at Steve and Bucky, not sure what he could possibly do or say to fix this situation. Walking over to the bed, he knelt in front of Bucky, not speaking for a moment as he watched the young man hug his legs tighter. “Bucky, I’m sorry, I’m not yelling at you, I don’t mean to scare you. I can’t even begin to imagine what you’ve been through, and there aren’t enough apologies in this world for what has happened to you. I’m going to make things better for you.” 

As Bucky looked up, his bright blue teary eyes meeting with Tony’s dark ones as they met each for the first time. Tony couldn’t ignore the feeling of his heart aching in his chest looking at the beautiful young man, guilt aching in his chest at the thought that he’d had to give up his entire life just to be a solution to a problem that Tony didn’t even care about. 

“I never would have let him do that to you…” Tony said, reaching out to touch Bucky, looking at Steve for a moment to okay it with him, waiting for his little nod to put a hand on his shoulder. “I’m so sorry, Bucky, I’m going to do the most I can to give you a wonderful life. I’m…I’m so, so sorry…” 

Tony hadn’t expected his tears until he heard his voice crack under the pressure of them, his eyes staring into Bucky’s for what felt like forever, until Bucky slowly let go of his legs with his left hand. Reaching out with his own hand, Tony squeezed Bucky’s tightly, the lump in his throat growing when Bucky squeezed back. 

“See, Tony, he’s-“ Howard began, his hand ready to squeeze Tony’s shoulder. 

“Don’t you fucking touch me. You have lost that right,” Tony said with a snarl, keeping his voice as low and even as he could for the sake of Bucky’s nerves. “Get out of here, or I swear to god, you will regret having me.” 

Steve watched Howard back out of the room and head up the stairs, his arm not leaving Bucky’s shoulders as he clenched his teeth. He’d always tried to look for the good in people, but as far as he was concerned, he hated Howard Stark with everything in him. 

“I’m moving you two upstairs today, do you want to share a room or do you want separate rooms? And this can be a temporary as you want it to be, I will get that chip out of you, Bucky,” Tony said, watching as Bucky relaxed a bit with his father gone. “You’re not going to live in a cell for a moment longer. Do…do you trust me?” 

Bucky’s eyes moved to Steve first, waiting for him to nod slightly, before he nodded at Tony himself. Letting Tony help him to his feet, Bucky wiped at his eyes with his sleeve, holding his other hand out for Steve. 

“Let’s get you out of here,” Tony said, leading the other men up the stairs into his father’s office, hoping that Howard had made himself very scarce. He still needed to figure out what he was going to do with him, he had to make sure he couldn’t get out of it somehow. “Bucky, do y-oh no, are you okay?” 

Bucky stared at the large window behind Howard’s desk, floor to ceiling with a beautiful view of the back gardens around the waterfall that fell into the pool, and he couldn’t tell if the water or the sky was more blue. 

“He hasn’t been outside since he was three,” Steve explained lowly, watching as Bucky walked over to the window, his hand hovering over it as if he was afraid to touch it. “Your father says he made him, made Bucky call him Father, had him living in an over regulated environment. He couldn’t even have a cupcake without having to burn it off on the exercise bike. There was a picture of you on his wall, and he was told he was just yours to use.” 

“Please, I’m not my father, he’s…” Tony covered his mouth for a moment, unable to stop watching the wonder in Bucky’s eyes as he stared out at the back yard. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what it’s worth, but I am.” 

“I believe you had no idea this was going on, but, did anything seem weird fourteen years ago?” Steve asked, hoping to get some more answers, looking for any kind of logic to what happened. 

“Uhh, no, not really, I mean, I came out around then,” Tony said, turning his head to look at Steve again, wishing he’d met him under very different circumstances. “I left home to go to school around then too, I wasn’t around my dad to see if he was being evil.”

“I don’t think there’s really any way to guess your father is up to something like this,” Steve sighed, wondering if he should go to Bucky’s side, or give him a minute on his own to process his first steps to freedom. 

“No, I suppose not,” Tony didn’t care if this wasn’t his fault, it was still done for him, and he couldn’t forget that. “…does he hate me?” 

“Uhm…” Steve took a moment to think about how to best put this, not wanting to upset Tony more than he was. “He doesn’t hate you, but he was afraid you’d use him, take the kid, and leave him in his cell. You have to understand he probably thought you were like Howard.” 

“I am-I am NOTHING like him,” Tony insisted, still keeping his voice low. “I will figure out a way to make this right, as right as I can, and I’m starting with calling the police and getting my father out of this house.” He looked at Steve again before walking over to Bucky, his heart aching at the tears running down Bucky’s face as he stared forward, looking like he was in a state of shock. “Bucky, anything you want, anything at all, you can ask me for it and I’ll do anything to make it happen.”

“…I can’t imagine wanting something more than this…” Bucky said in awe, finally letting the tips of his fingers touch the glass, surprised at how warm it was. “Except to go out and touch it, that would be…can I have some grass? In books they talk about the smell of grass, but I can’t even begin to picture it.” 

“You can have all the grass you want, Bucky. Give me a bit of time and I’ll have you out there lying on it in no time,” Tony promised, bringing a hand to rest on the small of his back. “I’m turning my father in to the police, I can’t think of what else to do so that’s how it’s going to be, and they’re going to want to talk to you and Steve, but I’ll try to do this so you don’t have to go through too much, I want you as uninvolved as possible. You deserve to have someone look after you for a change.” 

“I’ll talk. I can do that much,” Bucky said, his voice small and afraid, though his determination shone through his expression. “What’s going to happen to me though?” 

“You can stay here as long as you want, you and Steve, my home is open to you,” Tony answered, giving him as comforting as a smile as he could manage, hoping that it worked even a little. “I’m sorry, Bucky, you will never be my property, you never should have been told you will be, but that doesn’t mean you’re not important to me. If you want to leave here, I will make sure you have everything you’ll ever need, but this can be home for as long as you wan-.”

Tony held his breath for a moment as Bucky leaned his head against him, pausing for a moment before his hand on his side, hugging him closer. Looking beside Bucky at Steve, he hoped the other man didn’t think he was trying anything, he just wanted to comfort Bucky, and he was pretty sure that’s what Bucky was asking for. 

“I will never hurt him…” Tony said softly, making eye contact with Steve as he kept his arm around Bucky. “You have my word.” 

“I know you won’t, because I’ll be here to stop it,” Steve replied, trying to keep his voice smooth rather than threatening. “It’s not that I don’t trust you though, it’s that I love him.”

Tony turned back to the window, nodding a little as he pretended to be interested in the landscaping. “I’m glad you’ll be here, you’re as welcome to be here as he is,” he said finally, taking his phone from his pocket, thinking of what he’d say exactly to explain what his father had done, hoping the police didn’t think he was insane. “I’ll earn your trust.”

Steve wanted to call Tony arrogant and tell him that the were leaving the second the chip was out of him, but he couldn’t fault a single action Tony had made since they met. He was willing to save Bucky, he was willing to let him free, and Steve felt a bit guilty that he’d never considered that to be a possibility. He’d damned Tony before they’d even met, unfairly so, so the other man deserved a proper second chance. 

“I’d like to see you try,” Steve said honestly.


	8. Solace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony, Steve, and Bucky find comfort in each other's company.

By the time Tony got home, it was after midnight, and he was both exhausted mentally and physically. Dropping his keys on the table and his jacket on the floor behind him, he headed for one of the many bars around the house, this one being in a room a few doors down that Howard had used for entertaining. Pouring himself a neat scotch, he downed it in one gulp before making another, praying that the alcohol would burn away the headache behind his eyes that had been nagging him since this morning. After another full day of pouring over records, he couldn’t find any trace of Bucky anywhere in Stark Industries files. He had wanted to bring Steve with him so he could open the elevator to the place where Bucky had been kept, but he wasn’t about to take the man away from Bucky right now. He’d get in, he knew where it was, it was just a matter of time until he could bring the police in for more evidence against his father. 

Pouring another drink, Tony rested it against his forehead, the ice inside chilling the glass just enough to cool his brow. Taking it with him, he headed upstairs to his rooms next, going straight to his bathroom to grab a few painkillers to wash down with the rest of his scotch. He was definitely in the mood to get very drunk tonight, but he needed to be more responsible than that, he needed to go see his houseguests and fill them in on what was going on. He was pretty sure that they’d sleep a lot easier knowing that Howard was locked away for now. Leaving his glass behind, he headed down the hall to the room Steve and Bucky had selected, knocking softly on the door. 

“Come in,” Steve said, sitting up a bit and setting down his phone, having spent the last hour reading a book on it after Bucky passed out against his chest. Before then, they’d been talking about all the places Steve was going to take him once he felt ready to be around people, though Steve was sure that they were a long ways off doing that yet. 

“Hey…” Tony said, stepping into the room and walking over to the bed, sitting on the edge of it. “How’s Bucky doing? Did you take him in the sun room when I was gone?” 

“I did, yeah, he was…he was really happy,” Steve said, tightening his arm around Bucky, glad that he seemed happy sleeping with his head on Steve with one arm draped over him. “He stayed in there until the sun went down, I figured I’d let him have as much time as he wanted.” 

“Of course, give him all the time in the world, he can live in that room if he wants,” Tony said, watching Bucky breathe slow, even breaths as he slept, his eyelashes fluttering a little as he dreamed, which only made Tony feel worse at the moment. “…what does he dream about, just being in that cell? What else does he know enough to dream about? Or maybe his brain just makes shit up to fill in where all the life experiences were stolen from him.”

“I’ve never asked him,” Steve said, though he wished he did. He’d have to ask him in the morning when he was awake, but he didn’t think he was going to like the answer. “He’s seen lots of movies and television shows, so he knows what life on the outside is like, he’s just never participated in it.” 

“God…” Tony wished he had another drink, the warm buzz from the first three not doing anything to touch the pain in his chest. “I’m going to get that chip out of him, I’m going to get him outside and…and I’m so fucking sorry. I feel sick to my stomach thinking of what happened to him in my name, I am going to spend the rest of my life making it up to him one way or another.” 

“If it makes you feel any better, he doesn’t blame you in the least. And neither do I,” Steve said, watching as Tony buried his face against his hands again, feeling sorry that he was taking all of this upon himself. “We both saw how you reacted, you didn’t know, Tony. None of this was your idea or your doing, and I really don’t think Bucky’s going to start thinking that any time soon. It’s the opposite, to be truthful, he knows you saved him, he knows you’re doing everything to protect him right now.” 

“It doesn’t seem like enough,” Tony said quietly, turning his body a bit so he could face Steve instead of stare out the window. “Nothing seems like enough, I just look at him and I want to give him fucking everything.”

“He doesn’t want everything, I think that would just overwhelm him,” Steve said, rubbing Bucky’s back gently as he reached for his bottle of water on the nightstand. “He wants security, he needs it, and I think that should come from us, at least for now. He trusts me, he knows I’m looking out for his best interests, and I think that he’ll see that you are too.” 

“Of course, anything,” Tony said with a sigh, nodding a little as he watched the other men. “…did you think I was in on this?” 

“Honestly? Kind of. I thought there was no way that he could hide something like this from you, I thought you had to know what was going on,” Steve said as he looked at Tony, frowning. “I assumed that your relationship with you dad was like me and my mother, because she was terrible at keeping secrets from me. I knew my Christmas presents pretty much the night she bought them, she’d drop these horrible hints and I’d know what I was getting right away. I know now that I shouldn’t have done that, especially considering all the security I had to go through to get to Bucky’s room. If you’d have known, he’d have just been kept here.” 

“Don’t feel bad that you suspected me, alright? I would have too,” Tony chuckled humourlessly, adjusting himself so that he was sitting further on the bed, almost touching Steve’s leg. “If he told me, I would have sprung Bucky long ago, he’d have been adopted into another family or something, and my father would have been in prison that much sooner. I believe in medical advancement through the proper channels but I don’t agree on testing on kids. And now I know Bucky wasn’t even the only one.” 

“Do you know what happened to the other kids? No one ever told me where they went, just that they only kept Bucky,” Steve asked, figuring it was yet another detail he was better off not knowing. 

“Not yet. He’s not talking, I can’t find records, Ms. Carr and everyone you mentioned have disappeared,” Tony shook his head, lacing his fingers together to hold his knee, wishing he had something he could fiddle with. He needed to burn off his nervous energy, and he couldn’t think of a single healthy way to do that right now. “Dad was really thorough, he knew this could happen, and he covered his bases. The only real proof is Bucky himself, and you, so you’re going to be more involved in the investigation than I wanted you to be.” 

“I don’t know how much more we can tell them,” Steve admitted, hoping against hope that Howard Stark wasn’t going to get away with this. Based on what Tony was saying, that’s what it was starting to sound like to him. “Anything they want to know, though, I’ll do another interview. I don’t know if that’s very good for Bucky, though, I don’t know if he could do that again. He was stressed out enough trying to talk to the police yesterday.” 

“I know, I know…” Tony rubbed his eyes, the headache flaring up again as he stress levels rose. “Let me see what I can do, let’s not worry, let’s…let’s try to relax for tonight. There’s nothing I can do right this second.” 

“Are you okay, Tony?” Steve asked, watching him wince in pain. 

“No, I’m not okay. My father’s a monster, and now I have an entire company to run while I try to find more information to incarcerate him. On top of that I have two innocent men in my house, one that’s been dragged through hell, and all I can think every time I see them is that I fucking should have seen this coming,” Tony took a shaky breath as he reached up to wipe the first of his tears away, though there were many more where those came from. “You were right, I should have fucking known, I should have known he would do something this fucking insane. I should have known he was willing to ruin lives just for grandchildren, and I’m sorry. I’m so, so fucking sorry….” 

Steve watched as Tony broke down, about to open his mouth to offer some sort of consolation, when he felt Bucky move beside him. Looking down, he saw that the smaller man’s eyes were open and looking over Tony as well. Before Steve could say anything, Bucky let go of him, moving over until he could reach out and put a hand on top of Tony’s. 

“…I’m sorry too…” Bucky said, his voice small and sad as he gave Tony’s hand a gentle squeeze. “I’m sorry you’re losing your father over this.” 

“Bucky, you have nothing to be sorry for, you of anyone…” Tony looked up at him with teary eyes. “You don’t owe me anything…” 

“All my life I was told I was made to make you happy, and I hated you for it. I thought I was just here for you to have babies with, and that I’d spend the rest of my life in a cell unless you needed me,” Bucky said, moving closer to Tony, still holding his hand. “But now I know you’re not a bad man, and you’re just as caught up with your father’s wishes to control your life. I’ve never remembered having parents, I don’t know what that kind of love is like, but I’m pretty sure it’s big. So if you’re guilty that you still love him even though he’s done this, I’m not angry. I get that he’s still your dad…” 

“Jesus, Bucky,” Tony whimpered as Bucky hit a nerve, bringing the tears even faster. Reaching out to him, he pulled the young man into a hug, crushing him against his chest as he buried his face against Bucky’s shoulder. “I don’t deserve this…I don’t deserve your mercy..” 

“It’s going to be okay…” Bucky whispered, holding onto Tony tightly as he petted his back like Steve did for him. “Everything’s going to be okay. You’re not alone.” 

Steve’s heart ached in his chest watching Bucky comfort him, touched that Bucky could be so loving as to be the one to look after Tony. He’d only known Bucky for a few months, but he was the person that knew him best in the world, and even he was surprised by the level of compassion that Bucky was showing. 

“You’re so special, you know that?” Tony laughed weakly, holding Bucky close, feeling in that moment that there was going to be an end to the pain and loss he was feeling. “It has nothing to do with what you can do, and everything to do with who you are. You’re amazing, Bucky, I’m sorry how it happened, but I’m so glad to know you.” 

“I’m glad I finally met you...” Bucky replied, emotion heavy in his own voice, holding onto Tony tightly. “I’m glad I’m here.” 

“I’m so glad you’re here too. I mean it. this is your home for as long as you want it to be. If you want to stay forever…” Tony sniffed, letting go of Bucky just enough that he could look him in the eyes. “You and Steve, you’re amazing, I’d love for you to be a part of my life.” 

“…Steve?” Bucky asked, turning around and looking at him. “I don’t want to leave you. I don’t want you to leave me. Please.”

“I told you before I wasn’t going to leave you, right?” Steve smiled back at him, seeing no reason why he shouldn’t stay there with Bucky. And if he changed his mind down the road, Steve knew he’d leave with him then. Bucky was his life now, he didn’t want anything else. Even if that meant moving in with Tony Stark. Though he had to admit, Tony made it look like a very good option. 

“And once we get that chip out of you, Bucky, we can go anywhere you want in the whole world. I promise you that I’m going to take you to see it all,” Tony said, drying his eyes on his sleeve, chuckling a little. “You’d think for billionaires, we’d have more tissue boxes lying around. I’m going to get right on that.”

“Don’t go, stay with us,” Bucky said, moving back to Steve’s side and patting the empty spot beside him. “You’re upset, and Steve said people shouldn’t be alone when they’re upset. I think he’s probably right.” 

“Are you sure?” Tony asked, not surprised when Bucky nodded, but his eyebrows raised when Steve agreed as well. “I’m not going to argue getting in bed with two hot guys.” He regretted it as soon as he said it, his smart mouth getting ahead of him like always. Opening his mouth to apologize, he was surprised when Bucky began to laugh. 

“And I get to be in the middle,” Bucky said with a smile, his cheeks flushing when he realized how that sounded. Though he couldn’t argue with the sentiment. 

“Okay, you two…” Steve appreciated the laughter, it cut the tension of the room, and felt like their first real steps to being friends. “At least it’s a big bed, we won’t be cramped or anything, lots of blankets for everyone. Oh, and neither of us snore, you don’t have to worry about that.” 

“I snore if I’m really drunk, but I’m barely buzzed, so you’re safe tonight,” Tony laughed, standing up with a sigh, looking down at the two men with a small smile. “I’ll go get changed, but feel free to talk about me when I’m gone.” 

“We will,” Steve said, chuckling as Tony stepped out, looking at Bucky once he was gone. “I think it’s amazing that you’ve reached out to Tony like that, I’m really proud of you.”

“He’s hurting too, and it wouldn’t be fair of me to recognize that,” Bucky replied, getting under the blankets, lying his head down on the pillow as he stared up at the ceiling. “I don’t want him to be sad, he doesn’t deserve that, he didn’t do anything.” 

“No, he didn’t,” Steve moved down in the bed a bit, lying on his side next to Bucky. “But I don’t think many people would recognize that, I think a lot of people would have found him easy to blame.” 

“Most people aren’t raised in cages, maybe I’m just weird,” Bucky laughed softy, shrugging a bit as he pulled up the blankets to get comfortable. 

“Tony was right, you’re special, that’s a better word for it,” Steve clarified, reaching over to put his hand on Bucky’s shoulder, rubbing it gently. “I’m really glad I know you, Bucky, I’m glad I’m here.” 

Bucky looked up into Steve’s eyes, not speaking for a second as a smile spread across his face. Leaning up towards Steve, Bucky pressed his lips against the other man’s in a cautious, soft kiss, letting it linger for a few seconds before it broke. “I’m glad you’re here too…” he whispered against Steve’s lips, his cheeks flushed as his heart thundered in his chest. “I don’t know if you wanted me to do that, b-“

Steve pulled him close, cutting him off with a kiss of his own, deeper than the one Bucky had given him. He’d wanted to do this for a while now, but he’d always felt like Bucky should make the first move. Now that he had, Steve didn’t want to hold back, he wanted to hold Bucky in his arms and love him with everything he had. But that wasn’t the only thing he had on his mind. 

“Okay, I’m-woah!” Tony laughed nervously when he stepped in the room, jumping back as their kiss broke. “I can go, I’ll just-“

“No, don’t go,” Bucky said, sitting up again, wide eyed and nervous, looking back at Steve to ask him silent permission. 

“Go ahead, Buck,” Steve smiled as he felt like he was reading Bucky’s mind, reaching over to put a hand on his back, letting him know he was right behind him. 

“Please say with us,” Bucky said, offering his metal hand out to Tony, looking up at him expectantly. “I want you here. We want you here.” 

Tony couldn’t speak for a second, opening his mouth a little as only a tiny strangled sound escaped. Looking down at the two other men in their t-shirts and boxers, Steve with his perfect build and Hollywood looks, and lithe and beautiful Bucky looking at him with wide sky blue eyes, he felt like he was going to melt into a puddle where he stood. Nodding, he reached out to take Bucky by the hand, letting him lead him to his side of the bed. 

“I can’t…” Tony began, finally finding his voice once he was under the covers, looking over Bucky’s head at Steve, then down at Bucky, unable to help giving him a very awkward smile. “I can’t believe, I…you’re both incredibly kind, and I’m incredibly blessed just to spend time with you.” 

“You’re so much nicer than I ever thought you would be, and you keep saying to me that you want to make me happy, but it goes both ways. I want to make you happy too,” Bucky said, lying flat on the bed and looking up at both other men. “We’re both victims of your father, and Steve could have been one too, so I say we should stick together. You and Steve are the only two people I feel like I can trust, you’re the only two people who care about me, and I’m pretty sure you care about each other too.” 

“He’s smart,” Tony said, looking back at Steve, nodding a little. “I do care about you. I know we just met but I’m glad you’re here. I’m glad for your role in all of this because I think Bucky needed you. I need you. If anything good is going to come out of all of this horror, I hope it’s this.” 

“That’s how I feel too,” Steve said, reaching over to touch Tony’s arm, giving it a squeeze, unable to help the smile that turned up the corners of his lips. “I think Bucky’s the same, it’ll be easier for him to cope with something to hold on too.” 

“You read my mind,” Bucky sighed softly, reaching out to take both of their hands, squeezing them tight. “…I know I’m weird, I know I’m broken, but…” 

“You’re neither of those things, especially not broken,” Steve corrected him, lacing their fingers together and bringing Bucky’s hand up to his lips to press a kiss against it. “Nothing about you needs to be fixed, Bucky.” 

“Don’t talk about yourself like you’re a piece of machinery, Bucky, you’re a living thing. Like a plant,” Tony explained, playing with Bucky’s metal fingers, already delighted with how smooth and cool they were. “Plants grow well inside under artificial lights, but when they have sunlight, and space, and I read somewhere that they need love too. Life is about learning at every age, you’re an adult now, and you’re going to have every opportunity. You’re going to grow, Bucky, you’ve got everything you need to, and I can’t wait to see what you become.”

“I just want to be with you both…” Bucky whispered, looking between them, letting out a shaky breath. “Can I just be with you both?” 

“We’re not going anywhere,” Steve said, reaching over to turn off the lamp with his free hand, rolling back over to Bucky’s side. “Not without you, not as long as you need us.” 

“I’m always going to need you, don’t talk like I won’t,” Bucky replied, rolling onto his side, leaning his back against Tony’s chest as he reached for Steve. “Can we just…can we just be close like this tonight?” 

“Of course, whatever you want,” Tony said, kissing the top of Bucky’s head as he reached over him to set his hand on Steve’s side, smiling as he soon felt Steve’s hand on his. Keeping quiet, he watched as Bucky soon drifted off to sleep, unable to get the smile off his face. 

“I thought I was going to hate you,” Steve whispered, chuckling as he moved his hand up to touch Tony’s shoulder, giving it a playful squeeze. “I’m glad we can do this too. I mean, I didn’t even really look at men before Bucky. He kind of opened up my eyes to that.” 

“I’m going to admit I’ve never thought about something like this but….let’s see where it takes us, right?” Tony asked, looking at Steve in the moonlight, feeling comfortably warm with Bucky pressed against his chest. The two of them had managed to make him stop thinking about the nightmare he was going through, they were making him feel human again. “Steve?” 

“Yeah, Tony?” Steve answered softly, hugging both of the men as close as he could. 

Tony didn’t reply, he only leaned in to press their lips together for a few seconds, breaking it regretfully as he leaned over Bucky. He wanted to do it again, deeper this time, tasting him as he ran his fingers through his short hair. He wanted to wake Bucky up and kiss him just as passionately, pinning him down to the bed. But he knew he’d be a fool to rush this. If things were going to happen, they’d have to happen in their own time. 

“I want to do that again…” Tony grinned in the darkness, feeling oddly shy, a character trait no one would usually ever associate with him. “Is there any way we can do that again?” 

“Maybe if you ask nice,” Steve teased, reaching to take his hand in his own before resting them both on Bucky. 

“Pretty please?” Tony whispered back, leaning over and kissing him soundly.


	9. Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony has a talk with Bucky and the two of them include Steve in their plans. 
> 
> (This chapter is NSFW)

Tony sat at one of his work benches, his large mug full of coffee sitting untouched beside him as he held a long piece of rigid wire in his hand, flipping it over in his fingers. He’d woken up early, just after Steve had left to go for a run, and he stayed in bed watching Bucky for almost an hour before he got up. He felt like he should be working on going through his father’s files again for anything on Bucky, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. He was mentally exhausted, and on top of that he was entering a relationship with two other people, one of them being more complicated than anyone else he’d ever been with. He really liked Bucky, but how could he possibly know that Bucky really liked him? And would he lose Steve too if he pushed Bucky away? Could he live with that choice?

Putting the piece of wire down, Tony took a long drink of his coffee and turned towards his walking table on the table with him. His father was right, he did need to work on the joints so it could walk more fluidly, he just didn’t want to admit that the man had been right. He also didn’t want to admit that Howard had found someone he’d like, someone he could fall in love with, and someone that could bring him children. In that moment, he wondered how much of Bucky’s personality was Howard’s programming, and he felt even sorrier for him. 

“Fuck…” Tony whispered, leaning forward over his coffee, closing his eyes, fighting between his heart and his head when he heard a knock on the door behind him. Sitting upright, he pretended to be busy, removing the legs off his robot. “Come in.”

“Hey…” Bucky said as he walked through the door, taking a couple of steps into the room and stopping. “Am I bothering you? I can go if you want.” 

“What? No, this is nothing, it’s fine,” Tony said, clearing his throat as he wondered if now was the time to alleviate some of his fears about Bucky, needing to know that he wasn’t doing this for the wrong reasons. He couldn’t forgive himself if he brought any kind of harm to Bucky, so as hard as this might be, they needed to talk. “Come on in, there’s nothing here that will break or hurt you. Well, maybe some of that stuff in the corner, but don’t worry about that. Where’s Steve?” 

“He found the gym,” Bucky said with a chuckle as he moved over to Tony’s side, looking at the robot with a cocked head. “So what does it do?”

“I’ll show you when it’s done, okay? It’ll be more impressive that way,” Tony smiled, picking up his mug to take a drink, hiding his mouth for a moment. “Bucky, can we talk?” 

“Why does your mug say ‘Sexy Grandma’?” Bucky asked first, laughing a little. “Sure we can talk. About what?” 

“Long story involving drinking and shopping online,” Tony answered, dreading what he was going to get into next. “Bucky, how much was my father around you? What did he say to you about me when you were growing up?”

“Uhm, not often, really. I don’t have a good sense of the movement of time because it was the same thing every day, but I’d say…maybe once a month?” Bucky said, making a scrunched up face as he tried to think about it more intently. “He always made sure I had a picture of you on my wall, and he’d tell me that you were going to have children with me. I didn’t know if you would raise them with me or just use me for breeding, though, he never said what kind of person you were, and he never said if you’d even like me. Just that you were very smart, and that I was going to make smart children with you.” 

“I’m not insulted that you thought I could be a monster having gone through this with my father. I would have assumed I was an asshole too, so don’t feel bad about that,” Tony said, letting out the deep breath he’d been holding in, though he wasn’t entirely satisfied yet. “I know you told the police that you don’t know if he did anything to your brain, what makes you say you don’t know instead of no?”

“I mean, look what else they did to me,” Bucky shrugged a little, looking down at Tony’s mug again, not sure as to why they were talking about this stuff again. He was tired of talking about all of that, he just wanted to move on and concentrate on living his life now. 

“What do you think they would have put in there?” Tony asked, shifting on his stool as he reached out to take Bucky’s hand in his own. 

“I don’t know. I just…sometimes I think it’s convenient for them that I do like men,” admitted Bucky as he squeezed Tony’s hand in his own, chewing on his lip as he tried to think this all over. “But Steve said to me that if it’s what I really feel now, then that’s what’s going to be real for me. I don’t want to be with a girl, I don’t want to be with anyone but you and Steve, and I want that with all my heart so how could it be anything less than real?” 

Tony stood up from his seat, tugging Bucky in closer to hug him tightly, rubbing his back in slow circles. Breathing in the smell of the shampoo from the guest bedroom, he made a mental note to get some for his own bathroom. “I think Steve’s right, I think you’d drive yourself crazy trying to figure out what could be influenced and what isn’t,” Tony said lowly, not wanting to let Bucky go now that he had him. “I’m not going to insult you and tell you what you’re feeling is fake, okay? You are who you are, and that’s why I like you.” 

“I don’t want you to think I don’t really like you, I do,” Bucky whispered, hugging onto Tony and closing his eyes. “Tony, I get it if you question me, but I’m begging you to just give me a chance and I’ll prove to you that I like the man that saved me, not the person whose picture hung on my wall. I want to know everything about you, I want to know how to make you happy.” 

“I’m not going to question you. If you say that’s how you feel, I’ll believe you,” Tony said, feeling guilty that it had crossed his mind. “And don’t worry about making me happy, you make me happy when you look at me. I mean, you don’t even have to be here because I could think about you and that would put a smile on my face.” 

“And Steve too?” Bucky asked, letting go of Tony just enough to look up into his eyes. 

“And Steve too,” Tony repeated, pressing a kiss to Bucky’s forehead, rubbing the tip of his just under his hairline. “I don’t think you two could be separated, and that’s good, because I think you two belong together. I just hope I belong with you both too.” 

“Of course you do,” Bucky said, reaching up to put his hands on either side of Tony’s face, cupping his cheeks. “I don’t want to be without Steve, and I don’t want to be without you now that I have you. I don’t think it’s often you find three people that all want to be together, I think it’s pretty special and it means something. Maybe all of that had to happen to me to get me right here, right now, and…and I think that’s the only way I can justify my past, to think that I had to suffer to be here.” 

“Bucky…” Tony didn’t know what to say to that, not wanting to break Bucky’s heart by denying his theory. Tony couldn’t believe that fate is what brought Bucky to him, he didn’t want to think that someone had to suffer just to bring him happiness. 

“I have never wanted anything more than to be here right now…” Bucky whimpered, wrapping his arms back around Tony’s neck, burying his face in the older man’s shoulder. “I wish I pictured this when I thought about you, I wish I knew you’d hold me and kiss me. I think it would have made the time pass faster knowing what was coming.”

“Or it could have slowed right down, you wouldn’t have wanted that,” Tony said, stroking Bucky’s hair, his hand pausing as it moved over his ponytail. “When you’re feeling ready to talk to someone else, I promise you I’m going to get you the best help, but for now I want you to know you always have me. I’m here for you.” 

“I’m okay with you and Steve, I don’t need anyone else,” Bucky insisted, relaxing in Tony’s arms, feeling like everything seemed right in his world for once. “I just want you two.” 

“Then that’s what you’ll have,” Tony reassured him, looking down at Buck as he continued to play with his hair. “…can I request one thing?” 

“Of course, anything,” Bucky said, looking up at him, a faint smile on his face. 

“Keep your hair, you have beautiful hair…” Tony reached up to pull the elastic off of Bucky’s ponytail, putting it on his wrist so he was free to run his fingers through the soft strands. Looking down at Bucky, his hand tightening in the young man’s hair to tilt his head, he didn’t have time to think as he leaned down and pressed their lips together. Closing his eyes, Tony moaned softly into the kiss as he pushed Bucky back up against his work desk, leaning him into it. 

“Holy shit, I’ll never cut my hair...” Bucky gasped between kisses, gripping onto Tony’s back with one hand and pushing away the coffee cup with the other as he was pressed into the work bench. He loved the feeling of Tony’s mouth on his, kissing him so much more urgently than the sweet kiss that Steve had given him last night, though he wasn’t going to complain about that one either. He was a novice at this, so he happily let Tony take the lead as he tried to mimic him, hoping that he wasn’t horrible at this. 

“I’m sorry, this can’t be comfortable,” Tony laughed softly as their lips separated, unable to resist the urge to nip at Bucky’s bottom lip. “I don’t want to push you or rush you into anything you’re not ready for.”

“I’m a virgin, I’m not a prude, I’ve been thinking about being with you for years. I hoped you would be like this, enthusiastic about it, but this is beyond the best of my imagination,” Bucky chuckled as well, staring up at him, not bothering to fix his shirt that had rode up his stomach when Tony was on top of him. “Tony, you’re not pushing me, I want this. I want both you and Steve.” 

“Then…how about we get him for you?” Tony asked, biting the inside of his mouth to contain the gigantic grin that was threatening to spread across his face. 

“You mean both of you, together with me?” Bucky’s voice broke a little on the last word, feeling like his heart was in overdrive. 

“Why not?” Tony asked, letting go of Bucky and stepping back, offering a hand to him. “Come on, we’ll find Steve. This has to be more fun than exercising on a machine. And it does burn calories, so it’s really a work out of it’s own.” 

“What if I’m horrible at this?” Bucky asked, taking Tony’s hand and standing up, staying close to his side as Tony led them from the room. “I don’t want to be disappointing. I’ve been thinking about this a lot, I mean, I spent tons of time by myself, but thinking is different than doing.” 

“Bucky, I will be blunt, most people aren’t that great at first. It can be awkward, things can end fast, you might not know what your lovers are into, but there is good news,” Tony said as they walked down the hall, unable to keep from peeking at Bucky every few steps. “There’s always a lot of importance given to the first time, I get that, and it is exciting, but you will get better pretty much every time you do it. So while there’s all this pressure about losing your virginity and starting this relationship with two people, not just one, I promise you that we will get so much better together. We have all the time in the world to learn each others bodies.” 

“I still hope I don’t suck,” Bucky replied, blushing as he tried to calm himself down, wondering how Steve felt about all this. He supposed they would find out as soon as they found him. “Do you really think Steve will be into this?” 

“I’ve seen how he looks at you, he’s into this,” Tony reassured him with a little laugh, letting go of Bucky’s hand and putting an arm around him. “Hopefully he didn’t work out too much, or we’ll be brewing some coffee or ordering Red Bull.” 

“He likes spinach and berry smoothies,” Bucky offered, winding his own arm around Tony’s waist, his pulse quickening just being close to him, thinking about what was going to happen. “But he will drink coffee if there’s cream in it.” 

“Good to know, I’ll bust out the blender,” Tony said, sticking his head in the gym, not spotting Steve. “Okay, Sherlock, where is he now?” 

“Shower, definitely,” Bucky said, pointing above his head, though he had no idea what was actually above him right now. He was still learning most of the layout of the place. 

“Let’s go make it more fun,” Tony laughed as they headed for the stairs, going up and into the east wing where Bucky and Steve had been staying. Tony was hoping to move them down the hall to his own room later, but he hadn’t had a good chance to bring it up. “Think we should sneak up on him?” 

“I don’t know if he’d appreciate us jumping into the shower with him, maybe we should wait for him on the bed. Maybe…” It was Bucky’s turn to grin from ear to ear as a mischievous thought filled his head. “Maybe we should be naked under the covers.”

Tony didn’t respond for a moment, too busy mentally high fiving himself to think about speaking a full sentence with actual English words. He felt like he’d hit the lottery with Steve and Bucky in his life already, and all he could think was that he didn’t want to screw this up somehow. Bucky was an absolute treasure, and Steve was one of the nicest guys he’d met in a long time, he was looking forward to every moment he was going to spend with them. Especially the naked ones.

“We can do that, but may I make a request?” Tony asked, feeling a little bold. 

“Sure, what is it?” Bucky said as he stopped outside the guest room, the sound of the shower coming from the closed bathroom door. 

“I would like…” Tony began, leading Bucky in and over to the bed, tracing his fingers down the small of his back. “Do you want to undress each other?” 

“I…oh, wow,” Bucky’s cheeks began to burn as he felt his blood quickly moving south. “I think I’d like that a lot, I hope…I hope you’re happy with me.” 

“I don’t see how I can’t be at this point,” Tony said, reaching down to grasp the bottom of Bucky’s shirt, rubbing the thin material between his thumb and finger, eyes still locked on Bucky’s. “I like you for you, not just because you’re gorgeous.”

Pulling Bucky’s shirt away from his body, Tony held his breath as he tugged it up and over Bucky’s head, dropping it to the floor once he was free of it. Bucky’s body was better than Tony had expected, lean, strong, and flexible from hours of yoga, with a ring of scar tissue around the metal arm, as well as a vertical line on his stomach, likely from whatever surgery his father had performed on him. Reaching out, he traced his fingers over Bucky’s collarbone, his hand slipping down to touch his metal arm before moving over the scar tissue. 

“I’m sorry I’ve got scars, they tried to minimize them but-“ Bucky began, though he was quickly quieted by Tony’s lips pressing against his own. Moaning into the kiss, his own hands moved down to search for the bottom to Tony’s shirt, feeling Tony’s hand moving down to the band of his track pants to move them down his hips. 

“You are fucking stunning, don’t you ever think differently,” Tony replied as Bucky wrestled his shirt away, going for the button of his jeans next, his own hands busy dropping Bucky’s pants to the floor, leaving him in his boxers. He gave the younger man a moment to catch up, stepping out of his jeans as they hit the floor and kicking them aside, standing in his own shorts. “We don’t have to go farther than this if you don’t want to.” 

“Do you want to?” Bucky asked, timidly placing his hand on Tony’s chest, slowly running down over his stomach muscles as he held his breath. 

“This ball is not in my court, baby, this is your call,” Tony said gently, not wanting his needs to push Bucky in the least, he had to want this for himself. Watching as Bucky nervously bit on his lip, breathing hard, Tony gave him a reassuring smile, trying to diffuse his anxiety. “We can wait if you need to.” 

“N-no. No, I don’t want to wait,” Bucky said suddenly, shaking his head as he heard the shower stop in the bathroom. With a look of determination, he reached out to place his hands on Tony’s hips, slowly balling up the material in his hands and pulling the shorts down and off Tony, letting them fall to the ground. Unable to fight his curiosity, Bucky’s eyes wandered down to Tony’s cock, swallowing hard when he saw the length of it emerging from his dark hair. 

“Do you want me to take yours off?” Tony said, waiting for the tight little nod Bucky gave him before he slowly began to lower his boxers, his eyes staying on Bucky’s looking for any sign of fear or nervousness beyond normal anticipation. When he was confident that Bucky was truly alright, he pushed his shorts off his hips, careful of his erection, waiting until they’d fallen to the floor. Taking a step forward, he put his hands on Bucky’s shoulders, rubbing them before he pulled him into a kiss, pressing their bodies together. 

“I-oh my god! Sorry, sorry,” Steve said as he stepped out of the bathroom, holding his chest as he recovered from the surprise, and gathered himself. He’d thought he was alone, and now he was looking at the other two men, naked, and obviously in the middle of something. “Hang on, I’ll-“

“Can you stay? Please? We were going to meet you here, I thought we could surprise you,” Bucky said frantically, not wanting Steve to leave, really wanting his first time to be with them both. 

“He’s right, we were going to get under the blankets, it would have been adorable,” Tony said, giving Steve a smile of his own, shrugging innocently and shaking his head. “How about you go back in the bathroom and come out once we’re all set up?”

“I think it’s okay now, but I do agree about the towel part,” Bucky chuckled, amused to see that Steve was blushing as well. 

“I have an even better idea. Why don’t we take this to my bedroom where we’ll have supplies, and do less talking. Unless someone’s talking dirty, and then, by all means, please continue,” Tony said, looking at Steve, wishing he could telepathically give that towel a tug. 

“That does sound like a better idea, I think we will need supplies,” Steve said, unable to help looking over at the other two men. He’d especially wanted to see Bucky like this for a while, but he was definitely happy that Tony was involved in it too. Taking off his towel, he tossed it back in the bathroom, making a note to clean up later. “Where’s your room?” 

“It’s…” Tony was trying not to stare at either of them, and mostly failing. “This way, follow me.” 

Bucky took a hold of Tony’s arm, reaching out for Steve’s as they left the room to go to Tony’s. He loved how he felt between the two men, like nothing could hurt him, and that he had everything to live for. And as Tony lead them to the end of the hall into a large red and grey bedroom, Bucky couldn’t help but stare at the floor to ceiling windows, not to mention the view behind them. 

“Can we sleep in here tonight?” Bucky asked, looking at the huge bed, his heart speeding up a bit as he remembered exactly why they were there. He was looking forward to that a lot more than sleeping. 

“This room is your room, you can do whatever you’d like in it,” Tony said, stopping beside the bed, pulling Bucky and Steve closer, putting an arm around both of them, his hand moving down to the smalls of their backs. “Now, I’m doing some thinking here, and I think the best way to do today is for you two to start. You’ve known each other for longer, wanted this for longer, I think I should let you go first, Steve. But then it’s my turn, if you’re still up to it, Bucky.” 

“I definitely want that,” Bucky said, letting out a shaky breath as he looked up to Steve. “What about you guys being with each other?”

“We’ll take care of that later, right now’s about you. What do you think, Steve?” Tony asked, looking at the other man with a wide smile. “I have to admit, I’m being kind of selfish because I’m dying to watch you two fuck.” 

“Oh really?” Steve laughed, wishing he could stop blushing, but he’d never had a third party watch him have sex before. Hell, he’d also never slept with another man before, today was a day of lots of firsts. “I think I like the sound of those plans, Bucky what do you th-“

“I think that’s perfect…” Bucky said, climbing onto the bed on his knees, turning around and reaching for Steve. “Please, Steve?”

“I can’t say no to that…” Steve breathed, taking Bucky’s hand as he crawled onto the bed with him, pulling Bucky against himself as he kissed him hard, pushing him back into the mattress. Running his hands down Bucky’s side, they made their way behind him to grip his ass, squeezing it as he felt their cocks slipping against each other. “Oh my fucking god, you taste delicious…” 

“Steve, I need you,” Bucky begged, wrapping his arms around Steve’s body, pulling him in as Steve pressed kisses down the side of his neck. “I’ve thought about this so much, when you first walked into my room, all I wanted to do was touch you, and for you to touch me.”

“You have me,” Steve whispered, moving his hands along the backs of Bucky’s thighs, kissing his collarbone. “I promise you I’m not going anywhere. Except to…Tony?” 

“Right on it,” Tony said as he walked over to his night stand, opening the top drawer and pulling out a bottle of lube with a silver label, passing it over to Steve. “It’s amazing, it lasts forever, you don’t need a ton. Sorry, back to being quiet, continue.” 

“So…you’re okay with me putting this all over my fingers, and up your ass? Is that what you need? Me inside of you?” Steve asked, opening the bottle to pour some onto his fingers, using the other hand to make sure it was spread around before he moved down between Bucky’s legs. 

“That. And for you to tell me I’m yours,” Bucky purred, parting his legs further and willing himself to relax as Steve’s index finger gently probed inside him before slipping all the way in. Letting out a gasp, Bucky squeezed down around his finger, biting his own lip. “That feels a lot better when someone else does it.”

“I bet it does,” Steve grinned, slowly pushing in another finger as Bucky began to relax, amazed by how tight he felt. “The thought of you fingering yourself is fucking hot, by the way.” 

“I did it a lot thinking of both of you,” Bucky teased, breathing harder as he felt another digit slip inside him. “That felt better than anything, pretending you were inside of me.” 

“Jesus Christ,” Steve and Tony said in unison, staring down at Bucky breathing hard and full of Steve’s fingers. 

“Steve…please…” Bucky said, eyes bright blue and wide, his mouth set in a perfect pout. “Don’t make me wait any more…”

“I won’t,” Steve said, pulling his fingers out of Bucky, filling his hand with a puddle of lube, coating his straining erection. Pushing Bucky’s legs against his chest, Steve lined himself up, taking a deep breath as he slowly eased himself inside him. “Holy fuck…” 

“Steve…!” Bucky whimpered, grabbing the bed with the metal hand and Steve’s shoulder with the other, his fingers curling. “Steve, that’s so much more than fingers, that’s so much…so much better. Please don’t hold back…” 

“Fuck, baby,” Steve groaned as he began to slowly pull himself back, pushing forward with a little force to begin, but the urge to go harder was too great. He sped up quickly, both hands gripping Bucky’s hips to bring him hard into each thrust, the sound of skin smacking together only covered by the desperate sounds Bucky was making. 

“Oh my god…” Tony whispered, watching the two of them completely spellbound as he fought every urge to join in, his hand moving slowly over his cock. Just hearing Bucky was enough to make him want to finish right now, it was the most beautiful noise he’d ever heard. 

“Steve, I’m getting close…” Bucky had gasped, his metal hand gripping a handful of bedding and twisting it into a ball as Steve pounded into him. He could feel it building every time Steve’s cock hit that good spot deep within him, and it was getting harder to breathe each time. Looking up at him, Bucky’s half lidded eyes met with Steve’s as he felt his orgasm building inside him, swelling and hitting him hard before he had a chance to warn his lover. Squirting out onto his bare, flat stomach, Bucky let out a desperate cry, not even thinking of how loud he was, unable to think of anything more than Steve in that moment. 

“Holy shit that was hot,” Steve panted as his hands dug into Bucky’s hips, pulling him into his thrusts so he could feel him just the little bit deeper. It didn’t take long until he found himself at the edge too, speeding up his pace before he came as well, seeing stars dancing in front of his vision for a few blissful seconds. When it faded, he regrettably pulled his cock out of Bucky and fell onto the bed beside him, trying to catch his breath as he stared up at the ceiling. 

“I’m going to agree with you, that was hot,” Tony said as he picked up the bottle of lube, keeping it in his hand as he moved between Bucky’s still spread legs, looking down at the very spent young man. “Hi, baby. I heard Steve call you baby, too, I think that’s a sign. I think you have a nickname, or another one, what do you think?” 

“I like it,” Bucky said, smiling up at him as he reached out to wrap his arms around Tony’s neck. “I don’t know what I’m going to call you both. Give me some time to think about it.”

“You can have all the time you want. Speaking of time though,” Tony leaned down to give Bucky a quick kiss before backing off a bit. “You don’t have to be with me right now if you don’t want to. I get that this is your first time, Steve alone might have been intense enough, I’m just giving you the all clear to pass for now, maybe pick it up in a few hours. Or tomorrow. Whenever.” 

“Tony…” Bucky began, though Tony still seemed to want to talk, which he seemed to do more when he was nervous. “Tony, no, I don’t want to hold back at all, I want to be with you now. I’m fine, I promise.” 

“Okay, but stop me if you’re too sensitive, or if it hurts,” Tony said as he poured some lube into his hand, liberally coating his dick with it as he looked at Bucky, watching his face carefully for even a twinge of pain as he pushed inside Bucky’s still stretched ass. “That’s so fucking good, baby, you’re still so tight for me.” 

“It doesn’t hurt, it doesn’t, it feels so good…” Bucky mumbled, both hands on Tony’s shoulders, being careful that his metal one didn’t grip him too tightly. Looking up, his eyes locked with Tony’s, silently pleading for him to not hold back, reassuring him that he could take it. “I want to make you so happy.” 

“You do, Bucky, you already do,” Tony said, slipping inside him with a low moan, biting his lip to silence himself as he slowly began to move his hips. He felt like if he opened his mouth, he wouldn’t be able to stop babbling about how amazing this was, and he wasn’t here to talk Bucky’s head off. 

“You…you make me happy too…” Bucky panted as he draped his legs over Tony’s shoulders, reaching out to Steve and taking his hand to squeeze. He thought he’d been pushed to the limit by Steve, but every move Tony made inside him made him want to go further. “Can we do this a lot? Both of you?

“I think I speak for Steve and myself when I say fuck yes,” Tony said with a little laugh, his hands grasping Bucky’s thighs to keep them against him as he thrust into the younger man, feeling like his cock was getting harder with every precious sound his lover was making. It was going to be hard to last long with Bucky, everything about fucking him was like something straight from one of his personal fantasies. 

“Tony…” Bucky whimpered after not too long, still feeling sensitive inside, though it was only pushing him further towards a second climax. He was breathing hard, hanging onto both Steve and the pillow underneath his head, his grip intensifying on both. It wasn’t like the first time, though, the slow build up was replaced by a sudden flash, and before he knew it, he was practically screaming and squirming around hard as he came again. 

“Bucky, fuck!” Tony moaned loudly as Bucky’s body clenched down around him, milking every last drip of come from his body as he struggled to stay upright. By the time he felt his orgasm winding down, he felt like Bucky’s body had drained him, and it was all he could do to lie down on his other side, staring across him at Steve. “…wow.”

“Wow is right,” Steve grinned, reaching behind him to grab a box of tissues, setting it on Bucky’s chest before he took a couple out to clean up his youngest boyfriend, surprised by how far up his body he’d managed to come. “Bucky, that was amazing, I’ve never came like that before in my life.” 

“I am so fucking happy right now…” Tony giggled, feeling like he was going to melt into the bed. 

“How often can we do that?” Bucky asked softly, his eyes closed, a little smile on his face as he ran it all through his head again. 

“I, uhh, tonight?” Steve asked, his face lighting up as he watched the joy that spread over Tony and Bucky’s faces, his heart feeling like it was burning in his chest as it beat faster. He couldn’t possibly love this entire situation more, and he was falling harder for these two every moment he spent with them. 

“How about it, baby, do you think you could do this again?” Tony purred, leaning in to nuzzle Bucky’s cheek, pressing a kiss against him. “Do you think you could take us again later?” 

Bucky blushed, both at his nickname and the request, his cheeks burning as he opened his eyes to look between the two men. They were both so different, but they both picked that word to represent him, and he loved it. Though he felt deeply for them both, he didn’t think he’d be able to choose just one of them, it had to happen like this with the three of them. He was convinced in his heart that they all belonged together, and that there wasn’t another love like this on the entire planet for him. He had Steve and Tony, as much as they had him, and he’d rather be their ‘baby’ than anything else. 

“…I think I can handle that.” Bucky said with a purr, closing his eyes and snuggling in close.


	10. Getaway

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky makes a discovery and all three men must make a run for it.

In the few months since Bucky and Steve had moved in to Tony’s place, the three men had grown very closer to each other. Tony hadn’t been able to remove Bucky’s chip, it had been buried too deep for him to do anything without hurting Bucky, and he wasn’t about to mess around with anaesthetic. He was, however, comfortable with disabling the security system that triggered the chip, letting Bucky walk outside for the first time in known memory. It had given him a sense of freedom he’d never known before, but even as curious as he was, he’d only gone as far as their backyard so far. He had, however, nearly memorized every corner of the mansion, including the secret passages and rooms that had been built in everywhere by a paranoid Howard Stark. It was his room beneath Howard’s desk, the one that would have been his cell for the rest of his life, that he’d spent his morning in. It was there he found what he needed. 

“Bucky? Buck?” Steve called out, walking down the hall, poking his head in each room to call out his boyfriend’s name. He hadn’t seen him since breakfast, where he’d barely eaten anything, and since then neither Steve, Tony, nor any of the staff had seen him, and he wasn’t answering his texts. “Jesus, Bucky…” 

He was about to message Tony and tell him he wasn’t in the west wing of the house when he looked in Howard’s office, the desk having been moved aside to reveal the staircase down to the cell beneath. Stepping into the office, Steve walked over to the stairs, looking down them before he began to head down the steps. Clearing his throat so he didn’t startle Bucky, he slowly stuck his head around the corner, a wave of relief hitting him when he saw Bucky sitting on the bed next to one of the pieces of medical equipment that had been stored in the corner. 

“You scared us,” Steve said, taking out his phone to send a reassuring text to Tony as he walked over to his youngest boyfriend. “What is that, a blood pressure machine? Are you okay?”

“It’s a portable ultrasound, like the one they used to check my organs with, I remembered how to use it from watching them,” Bucky said softly, his voice quiet as he slowly passed the probe from hand to hand. 

“Oh…okay…” Steve said, sitting next to Bucky and reaching a hand out to rub his back. “Are you okay? Are you checking on something in particular?”

“…they said I’d have to take hormones, that I’d have to be closely treated and monitored, they said it wouldn’t happen easily, I didn’t even know if I needed to do something different, I…I didn’t mean for it to happen,” Bucky whispered, wrapping his arms around himself, hugging tight as he always did when his anxiety flared. 

“Bucky, what is it? You didn’t mean for what to happen?” Steve asked, getting concerned now, he hadn’t seen Bucky so anxious since he first got here. Even then, he’d been quick to seek out either Tony or Steve if he didn’t feel well, he’d been very open with both of them as to what was going through his mind. So far, this felt like a huge step back. 

“…I think I’m pregnant…” Bucky squeaked, taking a shaky breath as he looked at the blank screen of the ultrasound machine, the image that had been on it burnt onto his brain. 

“O-oh. I’m…I didn’t really expect that,” Steve said as evenly as he could, wondering if he should have suspected that this could happen. It definitely didn’t go the way he’d been told it would, and he couldn’t help but worry about an emotionally delicate Bucky. wishing he didn’t find this out by himself. “Bucky, what happens is up to you, you know that, right?” 

“I…I don’t know…” Bucky shook his head, his heart thundering hard in his chest. “I don’t know…I don’t want to go to a doctor.” 

“Baby, listen to me, you don’t have to see a doctor right now,” Steve said, though he wondered if he was inadvertently lying to Bucky as he spoke. “I’m not saying you did it wrong, but how about we take a second look with this thing, okay?”

“What if I’m right?” Bucky asked, pushing down his pyjama pants to squirt some gel on his stomach, picking up the probe to run over his lower stomach. 

“If you’re right, then the ball is in your court, baby, but that doesn’t mean we won’t support you whatever you choose,” Steve said, putting a hand on Bucky’s arm as he watched the screen, not sure what he was watching for. “Bucky, what does it look like?” 

“I’m looking for it…here, right there,” Bucky said, positioning the wand and holding his breath so he could get a good look at the screen. In the middle of what looked like greyish white static, there was a black void, and inside it a blurry ring. “That.” 

“Huh…” Steve said, leaning in a bit, squinting at the screen before turning back to Bucky. “Baby, are you sure?” 

“Look on your phone. Look up ultrasound and yolk sac,” Bucky insisted, looking at the screen, not sure what he was feeling about all of this. “I’ve been feeling sick the last week and a half, and that makes sense with it just being the yolk sac right now. It would mean I’m five or six weeks pregnant.” 

Steve did the search on his phone, looking at the multiple pictures of yolk sacs, his eyes moving back to the screen to compare them. It was all the convincing he needed, he was pretty sure based on this that Bucky was right. 

“Do you want to tell Tony?” Steve asked, hoping he wasn’t going to have to hide something from his other boyfriend, but he knew he had to respect Bucky’s decision in this. 

“Yes,” Bucky dropped the probe again, burying his face in his hands, trying to catch his breath. “Or you tell him, either or. I want him to know.” 

“Yeah, we can go tell him when we go upstairs. I’m sure Tony’s going to take it okay,” Steve said, moving closer to put an arm around him, pulling him close to kiss his temple. They hadn’t really talked about this, and he felt like maybe they should have, at least so Bucky wouldn’t have to wonder what his boyfriends thought about him having a baby. 

“Will you tell me what you honestly want?” Bucky asked, curling up against Steve as he pulled his knees up. 

“You making the decision is what I honestly want. I want you to be happy, whether that means with or without a kid,” Steve said, hoping that Bucky believed him, and that Tony would say the same thing. He didn’t know about Tony, but he’d wanted children himself, though he wasn’t going to have them at the expense of Bucky’s physical or mental health.

“I don’t know what I want right now, I don’t want to be here,” Bucky whispered, the weight of his reality pressing the breath out of him, gasping for a deep breath. He felt claustrophobic all of a sudden, all he could think of was his cell at Stark Industries, and the dread he’d felt listening to Howard Stark tell him what his body was made to do.

“Baby?? Holy shit, come on,” Steve was glad Bucky was light, it made it easy to scoop the younger man into his arms and rush him up the stairs. Knocking some clutter out of the way, Steve carefully set Bucky down on the desk, rubbing his back. “It’s okay, Bucky, it’s okay, I promise you…” 

It took a moment for Bucky to take in a ragged breath, coughing a little before he went back to breathing properly, feeling light headed and dizzy in the meantime. “I don’t feel well…” he said weakly, leaning against Steve and closing his eyes. 

“I think you’re having some anxiety, baby. Do you want me to carry you to bed?” Steve offered, not sure if he should give him room to breathe or hug him tighter. “We can talk to Tony later, don’t even think about that right now. I want you to think about you, I want to know what you want and need.” 

“…yeah, I want to lie down,” Bucky said, his voice tight and quiet, still feeling like someone had their hand around his throat. “I’m sorry, Steve, I should be stronger, I shouldn’t melt down over every single thing.” 

“You haven’t been, Bucky. And this isn’t something small,” Steve said, about to scoop Bucky up in his arms and head up to their shared bedroom when Tony appeared in the doorway looking spooked, wide eyed and pale. “Tony?” 

“We have to leave now. I’ll explain in the car,” Tony said, stepping into the room, a gym bag in his hand, opening a safe and filling the bag with its contents. “We don’t have time to bring anything. Follow me! Go go go!” 

Steve didn’t hesitate, scooping up Bucky in his arms and going after Tony, well aware that something was obviously seriously wrong. His own nerves were on edge, he couldn’t imagine what was going through Bucky’s head at the moment. He had to hope that this wasn’t going to push Bucky’s anxiety into overdrive. 

“In here,” Tony said, opening the door to the garage, pulling a set of keys off the wall before walking over to a black SUV, pressing the key fob to start it. “Just get in the back, we have to go.” Opening the back door to help Steve get himself and Bucky in, Tony quickly jumped in himself, opening the garage door and hitting the gas. 

“Tony what the hell is going on?” Steve asked as they peeled out of the driveway and onto the street, holding onto Bucky who looked too scared to appreciate his first ride in a car since the accident that killed his family. “Tony, this is not a good time…”

“No, it’s not, it’s not fucking good! My father got away with it!” Tony yelled as he drove through a red light, trying to force himself to calm down before he killed them, or someone else. “Fucking lawyers and bribes and I don’t fucking know, but he’s out. He’s out and he’s going to come for Bucky, because Bucky can go to the press, he’s the only proof that exists and my father will wipe him out. We have to get away. Far away.” 

“Tony, we have to talk…” Steve started, not knowing where they were heading, but knowing they were going to need a doctor nearby. 

“Can we save that til we’re on a plane to Dawson City?” Tony asked, actually stopping at the light, though he felt sick to his stomach every moment they weren’t moving. As soon as the light went green, the pedal hit the floor. 

“What? Where’s Dawson City?” Steve asked, looking skeptical, not liking the sound of this plan so far. 

“It’s in Yukon Territories, Canada, and near there is the only property I own that I know my father doesn’t know about,” Tony said with a shaky sigh. “I bought it a few weeks after I met you both, I wanted to insure Bucky’s safety if this happened.”

“Why Canada?” Steve raised his eyebrow a little, looking at Tony in the rearview mirror. 

“Because I secretly love hockey and fries with gravy and cheese on them,” Tony shot back sarcastically, feeling guilty the second he did that. “No one would think to look for me up there, it’s isolated, there’s an airport even though it’s isolated, it works.” 

“I just meant that we don’t have passports,” Steve said flatly, though he wasn’t going to hold that against Tony at all. If he punished Tony every time he was sarcastic, they’d probably never speak again. 

“Not a problem. Had some fakes made up, they’re in the glove compartment,” Tony said, nodding his head towards it. “Everything’s taken care of, I had the house stocked up, there’s fire wood…”

“Tony,” Steve began, figuring that Tony really needed to know this new variable in their plan before they got on that plane. “We have to talk.”

“Let me drive, I need to concentrate, my head is going in fifty directions,” Tony said, taking a turn towards the airport, hoping his connection had secured a private plane for them that could keep this trip off the records. There was a reason he’d taken as much cash as he had from the house, he expected to have to bribe more than a few people along the way. 

“No, Tony, you need to listen. Bucky’s pr-“ Steve began, looking down at a pale and nervous Bucky when he realized what a big step they’d just forced him to take. “Bucky, we didn’t have a choice, we had to leave like that…” He doubted anything he said was going to make this situation any better, he felt helpless. “Tony, he can’t go on a plane with him like this. He’d draw too much attention.” 

“That’s why we’re taking a private charter. I did think this plan through, Steve,” Tony said, though he had to admit he didn’t think about what a frantic car ride was going to be like for him. “I went over it again and again in my head, I thought of everything. We even have a bag of clothes in the back and some coats. Don’t worry about anything.” 

“Tony, Bucky’s pregnant,” Steve blurted out, not meaning to be so blunt, but Tony wasn’t going to listen to him any other way. “He did an ultrasound on himself, and we saw this bubble inside him, and it looks like the pictures online. He says he’s been feeling sick, and he really has been tired lately-“

Tony jerked the wheel, going up on the sidewalk in front of a thankfully empty bus stop and nailing the mailbox hard enough to send it a few feet down the pavement. Sitting completely still for a few seconds, he turned and looked at Bucky and Steve in the backseat, blinking a few times before slowly turning back around and continuing to drive down the street. 

“Tony, you’re going to have to do more than that, you can’t do that to Bucky,” Steve said, feeling bad that Tony was going through so much and had a million things on his mind, but he couldn’t let Bucky suffer either. 

“Let’s get to Dawson City, and get settled, then we can talk about that more,” Tony said, his voice straining to stay low and even as he backed up and got back on the road. “It’s your choice, Bucky, just…let’s wait to talk about it. One problem at a time, okay? Or should I say ‘eh’?” He laughed weakly, sounding more defeated than anything else, not sure how much more he could take. If that plane wasn’t ready to go and compliant with his wishes, he was going to have to start taking people out. 

“That’s fair…” Steve said, hugging Bucky tight, noticing how erratic his breathing was getting. “Bucky, I’m sorry you’re going through this, we hadn’t even talked about you going on a plane yet. How are you holding up?” 

“Remember how you said to say green if something’s okay, yellow if I’m unsure, and red if I can’t do something?” Bucky said quietly, looking at his hands in his lap, trying to distract himself as much as he could from Tony’s driving. “Red. But I know I can’t stop. I know it’s going to get worse and I’m going to have to do it because it’s what’s best for me. So just…I beg you two, don’t fight or get angry at each other because you’re the only thing I have now that resembles peace, and I need to hang onto you both.” 

“You have our word,” Tony said from the front seat, swallowing hard as he knew how hard it was going to be to get through the rest of the day without losing his mind. He wasn’t going to be the one to shatter the very delicate shell Bucky was trying to put around himself. “We’re almost at the airport. I’m going to go deal with everything, you two stay in the car where no one can see you.” 

“What if you don’t come back? What if someone finds you?” Bucky asked weakly, his body tensing up more and more every time Tony hit the gas or took a wild corner. 

“Don’t worry, we’re no going to the big airport, this is a smaller one, no one’s going to be looking for us here,” Tony said, driving away from the city towards an airport just outside of it. He didn’t want to be anywhere with cameras, he didn’t know who was watching for his father, and he wasn’t going to risk being followed. “There won’t be crowds, you might not even meet with the pilot, you don’t have to worry about that.” 

“Good…I’m in my pyjamas…” Bucky said, as if that were the main reason he didn’t want people to see him. He was slowly getting used to new people, the staff around the mansion had been very nice and patient with him, but the thought of a crowd was too much right now. 

“Don’t worry, you can change on the plane if you want,” Steve rubbed Bucky’s shoulder, pretty sure that he didn’t actually care about that, but he was going to play along. 

“He’s right, it’s a private plane, it’ll just be the three of us, baby,” Tony said, rubbing his brow with one hand, feeling like he was going to be sick. He hoped there was a fully stocked bar on this thing, he needed to get very drunk, very fast, though he doubted he was going to have a chance to do that. He had to stay strong, as hard as that was right now. 

“…I’m sorry….” Bucky said, his voice low and soft, trembling a little as he looked out the window. “I’m sorry for all of this.” 

“What?” Tony blurted at the same time as Steve, wavering on the road of a second. “No, Bucky, you have nothing to be sorry for. Don’t you dare think that my father being insane is any of your fault. You didn’t ask for anything that happened to you.” 

“Not just that…” Bucky’s voice was small and tight, looking at the mirror at Tony’s expression and frowning. “They didn’t say it would just happen…”

“Don’t you dare apologize for that, don’t!” Steve said, watching as Tony tensed up even more in the driver seat, keeping his arm around Bucky as he tried not to let the stress of the situation get to him even more. “We are not angry at you, and we’re not going to be upset with whatever you choose. There is nothing for you to feel sorry for, so get that thought out of your head. Tony’s right, let’s deal with this when we’ve all calmed down, okay? Oh thank god, is that the airport?”

“Yes,” Tony said, taking the turn towards the parking lot, hoping that Bucky believed everything Steve had to say, he couldn’t bring himself to talk about that right now. “Like I said, I’m going to park and find this pilot. You two are going to stay here, and I don’t care who comes to the door, if it’s not me by myself, don’t open it. I’m leaving the keys with you.” 

“Be careful!” Steve called after Tony as he grabbed his bag full of money and left, locking the door before he closed it. Letting out a long breath, he pulled Bucky closer as he put his head back. “Bucky, how are you doing? Let me know what’s going on in your head so I can help.” 

“It’s just a mess, it’s a knot in my head, and I don’t know where to start with it,” Bucky sighed, though he had to admit to himself he was glad to be still for a while. He just had to keep trying to keep flying on a plane out of his mind. “Where is Dawson City? Other than Canada, I know that’s north of us.”

“Honestly, I can’t say I know much about Canadian geography, I’ve never been there, but…” Steve pulled out his phone, glad that he’d remembered to charge it overnight, and looked up their new home on a map, his eyebrows raising. “That…is north.”

“Oh wow…” Bucky said as he reached out to call up the images next, staring at the beautiful scenery, and the small town they’d be near. He liked the thought of being there a lot more than being inside of a big city, maybe there was a good side to all of this chaos. “What do you think the house looks like?” 

“Call me a nerd, but I’m hoping for a log cabin style place. I made a small one for a show and tell once,” Steve chuckled sheepishly, though he was glad that his tales of being a dork usually made Bucky laugh. 

“Show and…what?” Bucky asked, looking confused, though it was enough to distract him for a moment. 

“Show and tell, you bring something to school you like, and you get to show it off to everyone. It can either be really cool, or you can stand up in front of the entire class with their judging eyes and wish you were dead,” Steve said, forcing a laugh, though he knew it wasn’t going to fool anyone. Looking up log cabins on his phone, he opened the images tab and handed it to Bucky. 

“So when you made one of these…which one were you?” Bucky asked, figuring if Steve was trying to be light hearted, he should make an attempt to be as well. Inside, he just wanted Tony to come back with news his father was dead, and that it was safe to go home.

“Let’s just say, it was really fortunate that the kid after me showed off his giant jar of bottle caps,” Steve sighed, kissing the top of Bucky’s head, nuzzling him and breathing in the smell of fresh shampoo. 

“I would have liked your cabin,” Bucky said as he passed Steve’s phone back to him, closing his eyes and snuggling against him so he could try to forget where he was. 

“I know you would have, you’re a sweetheart,” Steve smiled weakly, looking down at Bucky as he kept him close, hoping it was making him feel as loved as he was. Relaxing, he looked down at his phone in his free hand, his thumb hovering over it for a second before he typed in ‘early pregnancy symptoms’, looking them over to see what was and wasn’t normal so he knew what to watch Bucky for, for now anyway. He was so wrapped up reading an article that he hadn’t seen Tony approach, the knock on the window nearly scaring the life out of him. 

“Sorry, sorry about that,” Tony said as Steve unlocked the doors, looking down at him and smiling weakly. “We have the flight. One stop to refuel, but other than that, we’re going straight there alone.”

“When do we leave?” Steve asked as he got out of the car, realizing Bucky was barefoot, and scooping him back up into his arms as Tony opened the lift gate to get their luggage, throwing the coats over his arm. 

“We’re boarding in ten minutes,” Tony said, closing the SUV up, looking over at a worried looking Steve and a very frazzled Bucky, feeling sick that he was dragging them to the other side of the continent because they weren’t safe from his father. He knew he was scaring Bucky, who was pregnant with a child he was going to consider his even if it was biologically Steve’s, and he didn’t know what was going to happen there. He just wanted to go home and lie in his soft bed, cuddle with Steve and Bucky, and enjoy just being together. He didn’t know when that was going to happen again though.

“Tony, we ready?” Steve said, holding Bucky tight, ready to do whatever it took to keep them safe. That was the bigger issue. For now. 

“One second,” Tony said, walking around to the passenger side and opening the door, pulling an envelope containing fake passports, drivers licenses for himself and Steve, and more cash. Stuffing it into the bag of money that was still over his shoulder, he closed up the SUV and locked it, turning towards the others. “Let’s get out of here, we’re not safe here.” 

“How safe will we be in Dawson City?” Bucky asked, looking over at Tony, his nerves starting to rise as he saw the airplanes behind him. 

“As safe as I can make you,” Tony replied, though there was less confidence in his voice than he intended there to be. Clearing his throat, he stepped closer to Bucky, touching his cheek and pressing a kiss to his forehead. “Trust me, baby.” 

“I do trust you,” Bucky whispered softly, giving Tony a shaky smile. “Everything is going to be okay.”


	11. Under the Stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After arriving in Dawson City, the men get to their new home and get settled.

After hours in the air, most of which Bucky spent airsick, curled up, and avoiding the windows as Steve and Tony sat trying to think of something to talk about that didn’t remind them of their current situation. They’d talked about their childhoods, taking time to describe everything Bucky didn’t understand, before moving on through high school and college, laughing when they realized they both had a crush on the same famous women at the time. It had been lighthearted for a while, but things inevitably went dark again as time passed. Even though they had the time and privacy, Tony hadn’t wanted to discuss the pregnancy, choosing to lean back in his seat with a scotch instead whilst Bucky slept against Steve. When the plane finally touched down in the smallest town Tony and Steve had ever seen, they woke Bucky for the next stage of their journey. 

Renting a grey SUV, Steve loaded up the trunk whilst Tony messed with the GPS, putting in the location of their cabin so Steve could get them there. Tony had drank entirely too much on the plane, his mind having not reminded him that there was a driving portion to this escape, so he was thankful when Steve offered to drive. 

“Did you put the address in?” Steve asked as he sat down in the drivers seat, looking at Tony sitting beside him. “Is this a long drive? Should we be buying supplies?”

“It’s not too far, and no, I paid the real estate agent to stock it up, and it was coming fully furnished and everything,” Tony said, looking in the back seat at Bucky, who had his head against the window, staring out quietly. “You okay, Bucky? Do you want me to sit with you?” 

“I don’t know…I’m…don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine when we’re there,” Bucky mumbled, pulling the blanket Tony had taken from the plane around him tighter. “It’s okay, I just want to look at the trees…”

“There are lots of them to look at,” Steve said, starting the car and looking at Tony with concern in his eyes before he pulled out of the spot and started on their route to the house. He was more used to city driving, but he was looking forward to long empty roads that hopefully didn’t have very many moose on them. “This is the first time I’ve been to Canada, this place is gorgeous.” 

“It doesn’t all look like this, but it is a nice country. We can take a vacation one time, do a few of the cities, whenever Bucky’s feeling up to travelling,” Tony said as he looked out the window at the mountains, surprised by how green this place was, that hadn’t really come up in his research. Though he supposed some things were just that much better in person. “No rush, though, we’ve got lots of time.” 

“Did you pick this place because of me?” Bucky asked from the backseat, realizing that he hadn’t seen another car since they left town, and also that he didn’t mind cars as much when Steve drove. 

“No, I picked this place because it’s in the middle of nowhere, I don’t think there are many security cameras around, and my father knows how useless I am in the wilderness, so he’d probably start looking in cities and that,” Tony said, turning his head so that he could see Bucky better. “This seemed like the perfect place, it’s just an advantage that it’s quiet and remote for you.” 

“I’m going to get better with people, I’m going to be able to travel and that soon,” Bucky said with determination, looking into Tony’s eyes for a moment before his gaze turned to the scenery again. “If this is a small town, I should be able to go out here.”

“Then you can help with the next grocery store run,” Steve was hoping that Bucky meant it, and that he wasn’t just trying to push himself into something prematurely. If Bucky could become comfortable around small groups of people, it would be a big step in reclaiming his life from Howard Stark. “We’ll probably have to do one soon, if there’s anything you’re wanting in particular.” 

Bucky didn’t reply, only pulling his blanket around him tighter, looking up at the tall trees lining the sides of the road. He was hoping to see a moose, he’d seen one in a nature book once and he didn’t know if he believed they could be as tall as he read. 

“…you know, there’s a bar in town that has a drink called the Sourtoe cocktail. It’s a glass with a shot of whiskey and a mummified toe, so if you want to join me and earn a certificate with your name on it, Stevie…” Tony chuckled, trying to lift the mood a bit, though he didn’t blame everyone for being exhausted and cranky after travelling for so long. 

“Aren’t we hiding here? Wouldn’t everyone finding out that Tony Stark drank the toe drink kind of give that away?” Steve asked, raising an eyebrow, though he kept his eyes on the road, not knowing what could come running out in front of them. 

“Who’s Tony Stark? I’m William MacKinnon, that’s Jude Turner in the backseat, and you’re Benjamin Chapman,” Tony said, watching the GPS, as their turn appeared on it, wondering what the roads ahead were going to be like. 

“Do we have to call each other that?” Bucky asked softly, making a bit of a face, though he supposed he liked his name the most out of the bunch. 

“Just when we’re out,” Tony said, stiffening a bit in his seat as Steve turned onto a dead end road, immediately thankful that he bought a vehicle with four wheel drive and glad that Steve had noticed that feature. “This is not a road, why is this considered a road?” 

“I don’t know,” Steve said, gripping the wheel tighter, trying to drive on the flattest land in front of them as he put his window down to listen for oncoming traffic. He was thankful when the dot signifying their destination appeared on the screen, hoping that they could get there quickly. 

“Pull over…” Bucky said suddenly, sounding frantic enough that Steve came to a hard halt, climbing out of the car fast, his foot catching on the door and spilling him to his knees. He didn’t have time to get to his feet before he was sick all over the pot holed dirt surface, coughing in between retches. 

“I’ll get him,” Tony said, getting out and going straight to Bucky’s side, throwing the blanket back into the SUV, and kneeling at his boyfriend’s side. “We don’t have much farther to go, baby, and we can put you in the front seat. I didn’t think about you being travel sick, I would have brought something for your stomach.” 

“It’s not your fault…” Bucky said, spitting the last of the foul tasting spit out of his mouth, his hand against his stomach. “It’s probably…can we go? I feel fine now, I just want to go.” 

“Yeah, not a problem,” Tony said, getting Bucky back into the car and shutting the door after him, climbing in himself. Looking at Steve with worry in his eyes, he wasn’t comforted when he saw the same in his. 

“I’ll go slower. It’s getting a bit better up ahead,” Steve said, starting up again, wondering where the nearest doctor was and feeling sick himself. 

For the last few minutes in the car ride, everyone was silent as they looked at the beautiful scenery, though the lack of moose was disappointing. It had been such a long day, and nothing was going to get any easier any time soon. Though now that the sun was setting soon, they could at least look forward to crawling into bed and forgetting everything for the time being. 

“And here we are…oh!” Steve pulled up a driveway past a grove of trees to spot a beautiful wood shingled house with a green roof and a wrap around porch. The yard was a decent size around it, surrounded by thick white spruces, with a few here and there to break the space up. It was hardly Stark mansion, but it was the perfect size for the three of them, and it was somewhere safe. 

“Isn’t this nice? I figured we might as well get something we can use even if we’re not running away. I thought Bucky might like it up here,” Tony said as he got out of the car, walking over to the front garden to pick up a rock and retrieve the key from underneath. “Bucky, go ahead in, the lights should work.” Opening the door, he pocketed the key and walked back over to the car as his youngest boyfriend headed inside. 

“I can get these,” Steve said as he picked up the biggest bag, about to grab another when Tony grabbed his arm. “What is it?”

“I need to talk to you for a second,” Tony whispered, not wanting to be overheard, though he checked over his shoulder to make sure Bucky hadn’t snuck out again. “Before I start, I know this choice is his, and I’m not going to push him. If he wants a termination, I’ll pay a doctor to…I don’t know. I don’t know what I’m going to do. I don’t know how to find a doctor for him, and to get them up here, for either choice when he makes it.”

“I’m not going to lie and pretend I know what to do about this, but…until he makes a decision, we can’t really begin to make plans,” Steve said softly, not wanting Bucky to overhear either. He didn’t want him to think they were doing something without him. “I’m glad you feel the same way I do, that he should do this.”

“Of course I do. After what he’s been through, he doesn’t need to be forced into having a kid,” Tony said, shaking his head and looking back towards the house as he picked another bag up. “…this stays between us, got it? I-I would like to be a parent, but not at the expense of Bucky in any form. I promise you.”

“We’re on the same page for that too then,” Steve muttered under his breath, taking the last of the luggage, and shutting the lift gate. “Let’s go talk this over with him, I feel wrong doing it behind his back, even if it is just to say we support him.”

“You’re right,” Tony turned towards the house, walking up the short path to the porch, adjusting the heavy bag. “I hope I brought everything we’d need. I don’t know how long it takes something to be shipped up here. I think we have to go to the end of the crappy road for our mailbox.” 

“We’ll manage,” Steve said as he followed Tony into the house, immediately impressed with his surroundings when he stepped inside. Everything was relatively modern and clean, much different from the rustic cabin that Steve had pictured, and partially been dreading as he was the only one that could cook. “Wow, this place is nice.”

“Isn’t it? Open concept, new fixtures, new furniture, the guy that built this place was ready to spend his retirement in style,” Tony said, putting the bags down with a sigh, looking up at the balcony where he could hear Bucky moving around. “That’s supposed to be all one big bedroom up there. How’s it look, Bucky?” 

“It’s so cool!” Bucky said, popping his head over it to look down at Tony and Steve. “The roof is made of window above the bed, but there are these sliding things that cover it. I think we should open it up. Oh, and there’s another bathroom up here!”

“So…retirement guy, he didn’t…?” Steve asked, not wanting to sound suspicious, but if the old man died here, he didn’t think he was going to like that much. 

“His son had an accident and needs care in the city, so he can’t come up here with him,” Tony said, taking a deep breath and picking up the bags again, heading up the stairs. He’d packed the bags until bursting, everything from clothes to toiletries to electronics, he wanted to make sure they weren’t going to be bored when they were there. “If it makes you feel better, I gave him more than what he was asking, figured it might help with his kid.” 

“I do like that, thank you,” Steve said as he followed him up, gasping a little as he stepped into the bedroom. The skylights above the bed were purple with the last light of the day, and the bed underneath was almost as big as Tony’s bed in the mansion, though this one looked softer. “Are you claiming your spot, Bucky?” “Yes,” Bucky replied, lying on the middle of the bed, staring up at the sky. “Will we be able to see lots of stars here?” 

“Are you kidding? We’ll be able to see tons of then, and aurora borealis, did you ever read about that one?” Tony watched as Bucky looked at him and shook his head a little. “The entire sky lights up in colour, it’s beautiful, I’ve seen it a couple times before. But it happens here, and we’ll be here a while, so I’m sure you’re going to see it.” 

“I think I’m going to like living here more than at the mansion, I like that we’ll all be closer together here,” Bucky said, lying back down to look up, eager to see a properly starry sky. The view at the mansion had been a disappointment, but if Tony said there were lots of stars and lights here, he was going to love it. 

“Yeah, it won’t be hard to find anyone here,” Tony said as he kicked off his shoes and removed his jacket, draping it over a chair before he got in bed beside Bucky, pulling him into a hug, and kissing his forehead. “You okay with being cuddled for a bit?” 

“I’m okay…Steve?” Bucky asked, looking over at him as he snuggled against Tony. 

“I’m coming,” Steve bent down and undid his shoes, setting them neatly aside as his grey hoodie joined Tony’s jacket on the chair. Climbing into bed on Bucky’s other side, he lay his head down on the pillows as he reached out to wrap an arm over Bucky and Tony, happy to have a moment where he could be close with them both.

“So you two like this place then?” Tony smiled, looking at them both, gently rubbing Bucky’s arm before his hand moved to Steve’s side. “I mean, we can paint if you don’t want wood walls, or-“

“Where would the baby sleep?” Bucky asked suddenly, taking both Steve and Tony by surprise. Realizing he had both of their eyes on him, staring in surprise, he felt like he should continue. “…you can’t test who the birth father is, not unless there’s a medical reason…I want the baby, and me, to have the last name Stark-Rogers, and I get that you can’t marry me because I’m technically dead, but…”

“That wouldn’t stop us from having a ceremony or something. You’d be married to us in the only way that matters, and we’ll do that, okay?” Tony said, looking at Steve for a moment as he wondered if that meant the two of them would be getting hitched as well. Not that he would mind, he loved Steve more than any boyfriend he’d had before, marrying him would be an honour. “That good with you, Steve? We…we should do it on paper, though, you and me. So if I die, the company will go to you, and you can look after Bucky and the…the baby.” He didn’t think he was ever going to get used to saying that. 

“Y-yeah, I’d…i just have to wait until my divorce goes through and then we can do it,” Steve stammered a little, feeling like he’d been knocked to his feet, the breath knocked out of him. “Bucky, are you sure? You can take more time to think about it if you want, no one’s rushing you.”

“Right now, that’s what I want,” Bucky reassured them softly. “All this running today, and all I could think was that I didn’t want your dad to get me because he’d kill me, and he’d kill this baby if it was Steve’s, and…and I want to protect them. I want this. I know I might lose it because my pregnancies will all be risky, but I want to try. And most of all…thank you to you two for letting me make this decision because I doubt it was easy to sit back and wait for me to say something.”

“It was hard in a way that you’re probably not thinking, baby, we were just worried about getting care for you either way,” Tony said, brushing a piece of hair behind Bucky’s ear before leaning over to give him a soft kiss. “I’m going to be honest, I’m not sure what I’m going to do to help you yet. But that doesn’t mean I’m not going to work hard at finding a solution. I will not let you be in danger, it’s not happening. Protecting you is the whole reason we’re in the middle of nowhere already.” 

“I trust you, I trust you both,” Bucky whispered, reaching to take their hands off each other, putting them both on his stomach under his naval. “Are you both going to hold me like this when my stomach is bigger?” 

“We’re going to hold you every night,” Steve said, nuzzling Bucky’s temple, his hand moving under the younger man’s shirt to rest against his skin, trying to imagine the belly he was going to get as their child grew. 

“But…” Bucky began, looking hesitant for a moment as his eyes turned back to the skies, the first few stars of the evening beginning to appear. “…will you still hold me like that when they’re born?” 

Both Tony and Steve frowned at that, their hearts breaking at the thought of Bucky fearing abandonment after he’d had the baby for them. It had been so programmed into Bucky’s heads that he didn’t have a role past incubating the babies that he still feared it despite being told every day how much they loved him. He was going to have to be convinced that he was their top priority now and forever, and that adding to their family wasn’t going to change that. 

“Like Steve said, every night,” Tony insisted, his own hand joining Steve’s under Bucky’s shirt to lay on his warm skin. “We are going to prove to you every night that we love you more than anything, and I don’t care how many times we have to repeat it to make up for your lifetime alone. We love you, Bucky, and if it takes marrying you in the backyard among the trees to convince you, we’re going to do it.” 

“…you promise?” Bucky whispered, hope shining in his eyes. 

“We promise,” Steve repeated, kissing one of Bucky’s cheeks as Tony pressed his lips to the other. “Our hearts are yours, forever, we’re going to love you more and more with each passing second, Bucky Stark-Rogers.” 

Bucky couldn’t help the smile that broke across his face, and as the sky lit up with stars above them, he couldn’t remember ever feeling as content as this. This was his home, this was his family, and he really wasn’t alone any more.


	12. Bonds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The trio get their first glimpse inside Bucky's stomach and Bucky makes a decision.

“Are you ready for Dr. Marner’s call, Buck?” 

Steve turned on the newly acquired and assembled ultrasound they’d been informed to get by Bucky’s new doctor, a lovely woman who was checking on Bucky over video calls until she could come up there for a few months. So far, they’d needed to buy a few medical supplies, and all of Bucky’s appointments over the internet had gone well, but Bucky was starting to show now. He was only going to get bigger, making things more complicated, and Steve was worried that Dr. Marner alone couldn’t save him if something went wrong. 

“Yes, I’m coming,” Bucky said as he came down the stairs wearing sweat pants and one of Steve’s t-shirts, his hair tied back and still wet from the shower. “Tony’s coming too, give him a second.”

“Don’t worry, we have a few minutes,” Steve said, looking at Bucky’s pants before reaching out to take the sticker off the leg. “Feel like having a relaxed day?” 

“No, my jeans don’t fit any more,” Bucky said, patting his small stomach as he gave Steve a tight smile. “I’m going to be dressing like I’m working out from here on out, I guess.”

“It’s a good thing you look so hot in sweat pants. Nice shirt, by the way,” Steve said with a laugh as he cleared the couch off so Bucky could lie down on it for the ultrasound. 

“I thought you’d approve,” Bucky said, looking down at it the Brooklyn Dodger logo and back up at Steve. “That or you’d pin me to the wall and kiss me.”

“Later. I swear to you it’s happening though,” Steve chuckled, patting the couch before opening the laptop and plugging in the ultrasound machine into one of it’s USB ports. He wasn’t sure exactly how this was going to work, but Tony assured him it would, so he was going to trust his expertise. 

“Steve?” Bucky said, sounding less playful this time, a hint of fear taking over his voice. 

“What is it, Buck?” Steve asked, turning his head to face his boyfriend as he got to his feet. 

“I don’t want to die,” Bucky whispered, his chest feeling tight as he spoke. “But if something happens and it comes down to me or the baby, I want you to help the baby first. My life was a mess until just recently, and I’m still plagued by everything they did to me. I think it’s better to save a new life than to save that.”

“No, I’d save you both, that’s why Tony’s here with us too. One of us would take you, one of us would take the baby,” Steve said, shaking his head, not wanting to think about this taking Bucky’s life from him. It had occurred to him in the past, and he’d pushed his thoughts from his head then too. As far as he was concerned, Bucky would never die. 

Bucky was about to argue, but something about Steve’s tone made him think that was going to be a bad idea. Sitting on the couch instead, he leaned back and sighed, wishing he could just find out now if the baby was going to be okay. 

“Sorry, I’m here,” Tony said as he came hurrying down the stairs, his own hair damp as well. Going straight to the couch, he took a seat next to Bucky, waiting for Steve to sit down as well before turned up the volume on the laptop. “So who’s operating the ultrasound for the doctor?”

“You,” Steve pointed at him, giving him a smile. “You’re better with electronics than I am.” 

“I don’t think being good with electronics is going to help me here, but if you want me to…” Tony said, about to pick up the probe and start trying it out when the laptop began to ring. Hitting a key, the doctor appeared on the screen, her white hair glowing in the sunlight from her window, her usual smile on her face. Tony had chosen her because she’d worked around the world delivering babies, and her track record was spectacular. That and she was retired, which made her less obvious if his father was sniffing around. 

“Hello today, how are you feeling Bucky?” Dr. Marner asked cheerfully from her home office. She hadn’t seen Bucky for a week now, though she’d told him to keep checking his blood pressure along with a few other tests he could easily do himself. 

“I’m okay, still sick in the morning,” Bucky said with a nervous smile, wishing they could just skip to the part where he found out his baby was okay. “I haven’t forgotten to take my vitamins or any of that.”

“Good, I’m glad to hear you’re taking this so seriously,” Dr. Marner said, fiddling with her computer for a moment. “I think we have the ultrasound working, I’m getting black image here along with you three.” 

“Okay, I’ll be doing that, I-uhm, I guess if you direct me?” Tony suggested, not sure how else they were going to do it. He was pretty sure he could find the baby, but he didn’t know what to do once he had. 

“Don’t forget that gel,” Bucky said, pointing to a bottle on the coffee table. “You put that on my stomach so the wand moves over it easier.” 

“I can handle that,” Tony said, watching as Bucky pushed his pants off his stomach and held his shirt under his chin, waiting until the clothing was out of the way before he squirted the blue gel on his skin. Setting down the bottle and picking up the wand, he began to run it over Bucky’s stomach, frowning a little as he looked at the screen. “What is that? Is this the right spot?” 

“You’re on the right spot, stay there,” the doctor said as she looked at her own screen, freezing it to take some measurements.

“There’s two moving things, that…” Steve said as he leaned in a bit, furrowing his brow as he tried to think of what that could be. 

“…they’re hearts,” Bucky said, the only one other than the doctor to know exactly what was going on. “Two hearts. There’s two hearts.” 

“We knew your pregnancy was going to be challenging, Bucky, this is just something else we have to factor in,” Dr. Marner said, trying to keep her voice even and soft as to not scare Bucky any more than he looked to be right now. “I may have to come up sooner than your third trimester as planned, I will have to come during the middle of your second trimester to have my eyes on you. Tony, can you take that probe and go…about four o clock until I say. Yes, there.”

“Oh my god…” Steve said weakly, kind of zoning out as the doctor directed Tony around Bucky’s belly, trying to wrap his mind around two babies. One baby was supposed to be dangerous to Bucky, two was…he was afraid of what two was. 

“How far along am I? Can you tell what I’m having?” Bucky asked, watching the screen, trying to keep as calm as possible. 

“That’s why I’m doing these measurements…” Dr. Marner said pleasantly as she finished measuring the twins heads. “They appear to be about twelve or thirteen weeks or so, just starting the second trimester. They’re flourishing wonderfully, the one is a little bigger than the other but that’s fine. And they are too young to tell the sex just yet, but we can do this again in a month or so to see if we can find out then.”

“There’s definitely only two, right?” Tony said, looking at both of his babies on the screen, unable to keep smiling. Of course he was worried, but he was letting himself have this moment before he gave in to fretting. 

“Only two that I see. Eight o clock, two inches or so,” the doctor said, looking back to the screen to work. 

“Are you okay, Bucky?” Steve asked, squeezing his hand, feeling like Bucky needed him more than he needed to panic in his own head. 

“I don’t know…I feel like I’m…” Bucky closed his eyes, rubbing them with his free hand, and breathing slowly. “I’m fine…I’m being stupid, sorry.” 

“You’re definitely not being stupid,” Steve said, looking up at the screen again, the reality of the situation burrowing deeper into his brain. “I’m scared too, Bucky, I don’t want anything bad to happen to you. I’m sorry this puts you at such risk.” 

“I want to do this, it’s fine,” Bucky repeated, pinching the bridge of his nose, trying to focus on the spot of pain rather than the wand against his stomach. “I can do this. I’ve been made for one thing in this world and I’m going to get it right.” 

“Bucky, that’s…no. You’re not a baby machine, you’re a person,” Steve said sternly, not wanting to argue with him, but wishing he’d see sense that Tony and he loved him for more than his ability to carry kids. Sometimes he worried that Bucky didn’t completely believe them, it was something he and Tony were going to have to keep working on. 

“I have all the measurements I need now, you can clean that gel off Bucky’s stomach now,” Dr. Marner said as she took her hand off her mouse, looking at the last image with a little smile. “I’ve saved these images, and I will keep them in the same folder as your emails.” 

“Thank you, thank you so much, we really appreciate this,” Tony put the wand back in it’s holder, taking a handful of tissues to clean up Bucky’s stomach before tossing them over by the wood stove. “We’ll email you tomorrow and be in touch.” 

“Excellent, I look forward to hearing from you. Bucky, take care,” Dr. Marner said with a smile, ending the conversation on her end as Tony turned back towards his partners. 

“…so, twins…” Tony sighed softly, taking Bucky’s other hand after fixing his shirt. “My grandmother was a twin, it might be my fault.” 

“I was going to say the same thing, but grandfather and another set of his brothers for me,” Steve said, about to ask Bucky when he remembered that all he knew of his family were their names and their fate. 

“…I need to lie down,” Bucky said, getting to his feet quickly and all but running from the room and upstairs to their bedroom, leaving Tony and Steve blinking in his wake. 

“We have to go after him,” Tony said, about to get up when Steve reached out and took his arm. “You’re not suggesting we leave him alone, are you?” 

“Give him a moment, then we’ll go up,” Steve listened for a moment to see if he could hear Bucky in their room, his hand moving from Tony’s wrist to his hand. “I don’t think this was something your father went over with him, he’s kind of talking like this is his purpose in life again so I’m guessing he’s going back to that nonsense to figure out a way of coping with two babies in him at once.” 

“The one time in life that I actually want my father around and I can’t trust him enough to even let him know where we are,” Tony grumbled, lacing his fingers with Steve’s, tugging him closer so he could wrap an arm around him. “I will never forgive him for this, but don’t think that means I regret you and Bucky at all. You’re a product of something awful done in my name, but I’m still fucking blessed to have you.” 

“I get what you mean, it’s okay,” Steve said, settling against Tony, looking at the image of the three of them together that Tony used as a wallpaper on his laptop. “You’d rather this didn’t happen, but it did, and we’re here.” 

“Precisely,” Tony chuckled dryly, leaning his head against Steve’s. “Please don’t ever think I don’t want you two here, and with two kids on the way…fuck, I’m glad there’s three of us, that’s going to make things easier. We’re going to have two kids, Steve…” 

Steve just closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to picture two little ones running all over the place, driving them crazy every chance they’d get. He was scared for Bucky, that thought hadn’t left his mind for a second, but there was a glimmer of hope for a perfect future that he couldn’t help wanting to dwell on. His husbands, his children, he needed for all of them to make it safely out of this. 

“I think we should go up there,” Steve said finally after a few minutes of listening for any sounds from Bucky, though the silence was just as bad. 

“Agreed,” Tony got to his feet, heading for the stairs and hoping that Bucky was alright at the top of them. Walking up into their room, Tony wasn’t surprised to see Bucky lying in the middle of the bed, under the blankets, with his face buried in his pillows. “Bucky, baby…” 

“Hey,” Steve said as he went straight to the bed, pulling back the blankets to lay beside him, putting his hand on the small of Bucky’s back. “Tell us what you’re thinking, okay? It doesn’t help to hold it in, remember?” 

“I thought I’d be so brave, I knew for so long this was going to happen, but there are people in me. Two of them,” Bucky said, not moving as Tony joined them on the bed to rub Bucky’s shoulders. “I’m so scared, I don’t think I can do this.” 

“…baby, if you don’t want to, we can stop this,” Tony whispered softly. It was a thought he didn’t want to have, but he wasn’t going to deny Bucky anything, especially that. “It’s not too late.”

“That’s not what I want, I still want to do this, I just need some time…” Bucky said weakly, not moving his face from the pillows. “I just…for the first time in my life, I don’t want to die. I have everything I want, I have you two, and even if things aren’t perfect with us having to hide, I don’t want to leave this. I’ve only had a bit of happy life, I want more.” 

“You’re going to have more, we’re going to make sure you’re safe. I’m going to get that doctor up here soon, I already found a place in town for her to stay,” Tony said, petting Bucky’s hair, not wanting to mention his own fears lest they make Bucky more afraid. “She’s already talked to the medical centre in town, it’ll be okay for us to bring you there to have the baby. We just…kind of need to say you’re a girl for obvious reasons.” 

“I don’t care about that,” Bucky said softly, turning his head to the side to face Steve. “I don’t care what lies you have to tell, I just don’t want to die, and I don’t want our babies to either.” 

“We’re not going to lose you, or our kids, just trust in us, okay?” Steve said, wishing he could believe himself as he said that. He wanted the burden of fear to be on himself and Tony, he didn’t want Bucky to have that cloud lingering over him for what could be his last time on Earth. He just really had to hope that he was being pessimistic for nothing. 

“I do…this is just a lot harder than I thought it would be,” Bucky said, finally rolling onto his back so he could look at both of his boyfriends, looking at them quietly. “…I want us to do the ceremony before the babies come. As soon as possible. I know my last name is technically Barnes but I don’t remember my family. I want to be a Stark-Rogers, so if anything happens to me, that’s how I’m remembered.” 

“How do you want to do it? Do you want a priest to come? We can get dressed up and do it out back,” Tony suggested, reaching down to put his hand on the new little bump under Bucky’s navel. “Or we can do it just us, it’s up to you.” 

“Can we do it right now?” Bucky asked, brightening a bit as he looked between them. “Right now, in this bed, it’s perfect.” 

“You don’t want to wait a few days? Plan things out?” Steve furrowed his brow a little, though after he said it, he really wasn’t sure what they needed to plan if it was just them other than if Bucky wanted to decorate. 

“Today, right now, is the only time I can guarantee I’m alive,” Bucky said sincerely and with determination. “So right now is when we need to be married, because…please, I want to be married to you both. I need this so I’ll feel better if I do die.” 

“Your timing couldn’t be better, Buck…” Tony said, getting to his feet as he tried not to think about what Bucky had said, fighting back every time his brain suggested that he was going to lose Bucky in all this. Walking over to a drawer, he pulled out a blue velvet jewelry box, walking back over to the bed before he opened it. Inside there were three identical rings, white gold with a tri-colour gold braid wrapped around it. “That’s us, the three of us, we’re intertwined. We need you as much as you need us, Bucky.” 

“When did you get those?” Steve asked with a gasp, sitting up a bit to get a better look at them.

“Not long after we got here, I thought they might come in handy,” Tony said with a grin as he looked back to Bucky. “I know you’ve never been to a wedding, have you seen any in movies?” 

“No, well, they usually get interrupted by guns or aliens or something. So not a whole one,” Bucky said with a little shrug, sitting up as well. “I mean, we’re doing it in our bedroom, without a priest, I think we can make it up as we go.” 

“May I add I’m glad we’re doing this now like this, I want to call you both my husbands, and it takes a while for divorces to finalize,” Steve said with a chuckle as he looked over at Tony, knowing he likely felt the same. This would be their real wedding day, the legal one would be just that. 

“Okay, so…” Tony had been to a lot of weddings in his lifetime, just none of them were anything like this. Hell, he thought his own would come with a lot more pageantry when the day came. He liked this better. “How about we sit together, and we have to think up a short thing to say to the other two people, and then the other two will put their ring on them. And then we kiss, and you’ll be all ours.” 

“I like the sound of that,” Bucky said with a smile, trying to look less nervous than he felt, but inside his heart was in overdrive. “Can someone else go first, though? I need to think.” 

“I can go first, I don’t mind. Tony…” Steve locked eyes with his boyfriend as he took his hand, flashing him a smile as he realized what he wanted to say. “Tony, you are so compassionate, you have so much life and love in you, and being around you makes me feel the same way. So I’m saying you’re contagious, but in the best way possible. Thank you for inviting me into your home and heart, you’re amazing, and I love you to pieces. And Bucky…” Steve turned to him next, unable to keep the corner of his lips from lifting as he squeezed Bucky’s hand. “I think you’re the first person I really loved with all my heart. You’re constantly saying about the things you don’t know or haven’t seen, and I just want to experience it all while holding your hand. I don’t want to let go of you, I feel like all the light would go out in me…” Taking a deep breath, Steve fought back tears as he looked at Bucky, trying his best to calm down. “I love you so much…” 

Taking the ring box, Bucky opened it, taking out what looked like the biggest of the bands, nodding at Tony who leaned over to hold Steve’s hand still. Slipping the ring onto his finger, Bucky looked into Steve’s eyes for a moment before leaning over to hug him tightly for a moment. As Bucky sat back in his spot, he turned to Tony, biting his lip as his eyes plead for Tony to go next. 

“I didn’t expect to fall in love and have kids, I didn’t think that kind of life was in my cards,” Tony began as his thumb ran along Bucky’s knuckles, feeling lost in his beautiful blue eyes as he did every day. “The fact that you even gave me a chance says everything about you, Bucky. You are the strongest person I’ve ever met, and I think that with determination like yours, you’re going to have a whole brood of kids and live to be over one hundred. I could never fight the way you do, I admire that, and I will be honoured to be your husband.” Having had about as much luck at holding back as Steve, he turned to him. “You could have…you should have hated me. Instead you opened yourself up, you let this happen, and I’m so fucking glad you’re not the jealous type, Steve, because I wouldn’t want to do this with anyone else. I love you completely, I couldn’t be happier you were a package deal.”

“Package deal, huh?” Steve asked with a laugh, slipping the ring onto Tony’s fingers, grinning at him from ear to ear. “So you’re a thrifty relationship man, are you?” 

“Completely. If I didn’t have you two, I’d be renting still,” Tony chuckled as he took the last ring and turned to face Bucky, bringing his hand to his mouth and kissing it. “You two are keepers.” 

“I...I don’t know if I’m going to do as good a job as you two did…” Bucky said with a shaky laugh, looking between them as he struggled to think of the right words for what he felt. “Steve, you were so nice to me right away, and you didn’t treat me like a kid, you talked to me like you talk to everyone else, and no one’s done that before. Even Jack talked down to me, I know that now, but…you make me choose things myself, you make me think for myself, and I think it would have been easier to prey on someone like me, but you don’t make me feel weak and trapped. You make me feel like I can do anything, and I love you so much for that.” Bucky sniffed, not even trying to hold back the tears as he squeezed their hands. “Tony, all my life I was afraid of when I’d meet you, but…I wish I met you a long time ago, because I didn’t know I’d be so happy having your babies. I would have been so happy I would’ve just run into your arms if I knew what you were going to do for me. You’re sacrificing so much to hide here with me, and you smile the whole time. Even in my best dreams where you were kind to me, they weren’t even close to who you are, and I’m grateful for the surprise. I love you too, Tony. And Steve. I just want to be yours.” 

“Baby…” Tony smiled as Steve held Bucky’s hand for him to slip the ring on, pulling him into a hug as Steve gave him one from behind, keeping the three of them tightly together. “You’re ours, we’re yours, you had a long road to get here but…now you’re home.” 

“I am,” Bucky said with a laugh, relief washing over him as his thumb moved to touch his new ring, not wanting this hug to end. “I don’t know much about weddings but this is supposed to end in a kiss, right?” 

The three of them smiled, each of them feeling that giddy rush in his chest as they let go just enough to face each other. It was like anticipating that first kiss all over again, sweaty palms, awkward grins, and pounding hearts, but it quickly culminated into something beautiful between them. A moment etched onto their minds within their perfect little home together, one that none of them were ever going to forget.


	13. Guilt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Howard makes his move, and Tony is forced to act.

“So what do you think about stew for dinner?” 

“I’m impressed. You’re a billionaire and you know what stew is,” Steve chuckled as he looked up from the ground, throwing a handful of kindling into the wheelbarrow Tony was pushing. “Do you really know how to make it?” 

“Ha ha, shut up,” Tony said as he put the wheelbarrow down to gather more sticks himself. “And the Internet knows how to make stew, so we’ll be fine. I can follow directions.” 

“Can you? Can you really?” Steve teased, laughing as Tony took a swing at his arm with a thin stick.

“Fine, you don’t get any,” Tony said stubbornly, pushing the wheelbarrow further into the woods, pretending to be angry as he tried not to burst out laughing. It didn’t last long, though, the second he looked back at his husband, he lost his last bit of control, the sound of their combined laughter echoing in the empty woods. 

They’d all been married for two months now, and life in their house in the woods had been nearly perfect. Bucky was doing well, his doctor set to arrive later that week, and their babies were flourishing inside him. He was, however, stuck on bed rest, which meant that all the work around the house was falling to Steve and Tony, who were only too happy to do it for him. It was a comfortable, quiet life, and even Tony had to admit that he was enjoying the break from being surrounded by technology and people. It was going to be hard to leave the Yukon when the time came, it really had become home for the three of them. 

“How much do you think we need? Are we trying to fill the box?” Steve asked, bending down to pick up a few more sticks, carrying them over to the wheelbarrow. 

“It’s pretty cold at night, and Bucky gets the chills unless he’s wrapped in blankets. So we should make sure we have lots,” Tony said as he pushed the wheelbarrow over a rock with a grunt. “We need a better kindling carrying system.” 

“This is better than than sling thing in the shed, we can carry a lot more. We just can’t let the box get so low again if you want to use the sling,” Steve chastised as he threw more sticks into the growing pile, freezing for a moment. “…what was that?” 

“What was what?” Tony asked, looking at Steve intensely as he heard it too, the sound of a car door closing, followed by another. “Did we wander over to the Daniels property?” 

“I don’t know,” Steve said, dropping his sticks and running back to the house, closely followed by Tony who had abandoned the wheelbarrow. Bursting out from the trees, he saw a black SUV sitting behind theirs in the driveway, and it was not one he’d seen around town before. 

“No no no…” Tony felt like he was going to be sick, hurrying straight for the door without a weapon or a plan, throwing it open as he barged into his house. It took everything in him to keep himself from being sick the moment he saw his father standing in the middle of the room with two other men, one of them holding Bucky tightly with a hand over his mouth. 

“Tony, Steve,” Howard said politely as if he was just there for a cup of tea instead of keeping one of their husbands hostage. 

“Let go of him now!” Tony snapped, taking a step forward when Howard reached inside his coat pocket, pulling out a handgun and aiming it at his own son. “Are you serious? We both know you’re not going to shoot me.” 

“Maybe not…” Howard said, turning so the gun was pointed straight at Bucky. “But I’ll shoot him.” 

“He’s carrying my children, you won’t shoot him either,” Tony said, about to step forward when he watched his father take the safety off the gun, directing it back at Bucky. 

“He doesn’t need to be conscious to have a child. Brain dead people have incubated babies before,” Howard said coolly, smiling a little as if he’d told a clever joke. “Besides, we’re not going to know if they’re yours until we perform the amniocentesis. This doctor is going to put a needle into Bucky’s stomach and take out some fluid so we can determine paternity. If these babies are Starks, they’ll get to stay in there until they’re ready to come out. Anything else and we put a bullet in this one and start this process again.” 

“NO! No, they’re mine, we know they’re mine, Steve wasn’t with him then…” Tony fumbled through his lie, desperate to keep Bucky and his children alive, trembling all over as he kept begging this to be a nightmare. “How did you find us?” 

“Dr. Marner had her price, did you know she has a son with drug addiction issues? What am I saying, of course you did, you offered to send him to the best rehabilitation place in the world. We did it a little differently, we just mailed her his finger,” Howard said casually, shrugging as he smiled again, obviously quite pleased with his ability to outplay his son. “She’s very, very sorry, though, but really, she couldn’t say no to us.” 

“You’re insane, you’re fucking insane, how the fuck did I not see that until now?” Tony shook his head, reaching behind him to squeeze Steve’s hand, feeling the tremors running through him as well. 

“It’s funny you say that,” Howard said, leaning against the couch as Bucky was forced down onto it by Howard’s guard, watching as the doctor unpacked his portable ultrasound to get the sample without stabbing a fetus. “I read an article the other day saying that CEOs of big corporations have psychopathic tendencies, and I went through all of the other large company owners that I know, and I could see it. In them, not in myself, but you’re never really the best judge of your own character, are you?” 

“Dad, I’m begging you, please don’t do this. Don’t do this to him, I love him so much…” Tony pled, looking over into Bucky’s eyes, seeing the fear in them and feeling sick that he hadn’t been able to save him yet. He wasn’t giving up though. “They’re Starks, I swear to you, those kids are mine.” 

“He’s telling the truth, I didn’t sleep with Bucky until he was pregnant,” Steve lied, though he didn’t know how much that was going to help. He was going do anything he could to keep Bucky and his children safe.

“You know what, that’s funny too,” Howard said, watching as the doctor uncovered Bucky’s stomach, putting the ultrasound wand against it to reveal their growing twins on the monitor. “You were so angry with me when I brought him home for you, you called the police on me, but now we’re here and you claim to love him, and the children you wouldn’t have been able to have without my tampering.” 

“Because you imprisoned him and did experiments on him! Me loving him has nothing to do with you, I’d rather he had a full happy life than to have suffered for me!” Tony snapped, his heard beating faster as he watched the doctor readying Bucky for this procedure. He could see the fear on Bucky’s face, and he hated himself that he was related to the man doing that to him. 

“Just admit I was right, Tony,” Howard shook his head, leaning back so he could watch the doctor ready the needle for Bucky’s stomach. “This could have gone so much easier if you’d kept Steve out of this. In fact, let’s take care of that…” 

As Howard turned his gun toward Steve, and the needle came for his stomach, Bucky panicked, kicking out and landing one foot square in the doctor’s chest. Turning his body as much as he could in the large man’s grasp, Bucky’s metal arm reached up to grab Howard Stark and jerk him backwards. Their eyes met in the moment that Stark almost lost his footing, not breaking apart as Howard’s hand spun back around, the gun aimed right at Bucky when it went off. 

“NO!” Tony screamed, not even thinking as he lunged forward, tackling his father off the back of the couch and onto the ground, swinging his fists like a mad man before ripping the gun out of his hand. He didn’t realize Howard’s guard was coming up behind him, he didn’t even hear Steve breaking a chair over his head to take him out. All he could see was Howard’s face at the end of his gun, afraid and covered in blood, and as he pulled the trigger, all he could feel was hate. 

“Steve…” Bucky whispered, shivering a little as he realized what had just happened to him, that he’d been shot and he wasn’t sure where, the pain seemed to radiate all over. “Tony, help…help me….” 

“Tony, he’s alive!” Steve said in a panic as he stood over Bucky, who’d been hit in the shoulder, looking over at the doctor cowering in the corner. “Can you help him?? Please? BUCKY!” Steve panicked as Bucky’s eyes slowly drifted shut, slapping his cheek to try to rouse him with no avail.

“You are going to FUCKING HELP! And if he dies, so will you!” Tony shouted as he got to his feet, not wavering for a moment over Howard’s body as he pointed the gun straight at the doctor. “I just killed my father, you really don’t want to try me…” 

“I’m not a surgeon!” the doctor screamed, grabbing a t-shirt that was lying on the chair, balling it up and pressing it against Bucky’s heavily bleeding shoulder. “He needs to go to a hospital!” 

“FIX HIM NOW!” Tony screamed, stepping closer and pressing the gun in the doctor’s face, unable to bring himself to look at Bucky.

“Tony…I think we have to call…” Steve said, pale as he looked at how much his husband was bleeding, not seeing any way to fix this without real help. “We’ll have to figure something out later, but he needs to go now or we’ll lose the three of them.” 

“I…” Tony swallowed hard, descending a little from his anger, just enough to look around at the situation. He was standing over his father’s body, who he’d killed with his own hands, and his husband was unconscious and bleeding out. This was definitely hitting high above his weight level, he couldn’t begin to deal with this. “Steve, call 911. Tell them our home was invaded and we have two ending medical help and one dead…” 

Tony couldn’t even hear what Steve was saying on the phone, it all sounded like static in his ears as he reached down to touch Bucky’s cheek, the gun in his hand falling to the floor as he pushed the doctor aside and reached to hold the shirt against Bucky’s wound. He couldn’t help the tears that rose in his eyes as he felt how saturated the material already was. He couldn’t lose him, he couldn’t lose them, he didn’t think he could go on with that void in his life. 

“Bucky, baby, you have to listen to me,” Tony said as he leaned over the couch, looking down at him for a moment before kissing his forehead softly. “Steve and I are right here, we’re not going to let go of you, and we’re not going to let go of our babies and…just come back to me, okay? Open your eyes and tell me that I’m fussing on you too much, Bucky, please…” 

“They’re coming,” Steve said, looking over to make sure the big guy was still down and the doctor wasn’t planning anything. “What can you do? There has to be something more than just trying to hold his blood in.”

“I don’t have the supplies or a nurse, so no, there’s not much else I can do. The most I can do for you is check on the twins to make sure they’re alive,” the doctor offered, reaching for the ultrasound machine when Tony pushed him aside again.

“It doesn’t matter if we know if they’re alive or dead, they’re too young to survive outside Bucky so if he dies, they’re dead too. I don’t need to hear it!” Tony snapped, petting Bucky’s hair back from his forehead, his eyes blurred with tears. “Nothing fucking matters if he dies!” 

Steve reached over to touch Tony’s arm, giving it a reassuring squeeze as he began to cry openly, kneeling next to Bucky, desperately trying to hear for any of the emergency vehicles. He felt like someone had ripped his heart out, that he’d had everything he could have wanted and now he was watching it drain away. 

“Steve…” Tony began, looking over at him, his bottom lip shaking. 

“He won’t leave us, he can’t…” Steve said, struggling to keep eye contact with his husband as he felt the tears dripping off the bottom of his jaw. 

“Our Bucky.” Tony whispered, the ache in his chest growing, not realizing that the sobs he was hearing were his own. Hanging onto both of his husbands, all he could do was weep as they waited desperately through each second for the help that couldn’t come fast enough.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Sitting at Bucky’s side, holding his hand, Steve stared over at the machines on his other side, one monitoring his husband, and the other his children. He’d been there alone for hours, and he had no idea what he was supposed to tell the doctors and nurses about who Bucky was or what had happened. He did his best, and now James Stark-Rogers was checked into a hospital in Whitehorse, Yukon after a scary helicopter ride, one Steve had to do without Tony, who was in police custody back in Dawson City. Bucky was immediately given blood and brought into surgery, adding another scar near his metal arm. The doctor told Steve that they’d saved Bucky, but that they needed to keep their eyes on the twins, leaving him in tears by his husband’s side. 

He’d had to hold it together alone, and he didn’t know how much longer he could do it. 

“Baby…” Steve whispered, bringing Bucky’s hand to his lips, pressing a kiss against his knuckles. “You scared us really bad today. I don’t know what you thought you were doing attacking Howard like that. I want to yell at you for trying to defend me, but I can’t yell at you right now. I just want to hold you in my arms and tell you everything’s going to be fine. We just want you to get better, Bucky…” 

“Steve…?” 

Looking up and turning around, Steve’s jaw hit the floor as he saw Tony standing in the doorway, almost stumbling over his own feet as he rushed to pull him into his arms. Holding each other close, both men finally felt some relief at being reunited. 

“I’m sorry it took me so long to get here. The police said I have to stay in this province, but they let me go for now,” Tony said, holding Steve close, his eyes over at Bucky lying pale in his bed. “The doctor and the guard, they actually told the truth, and my father going after Bucky all the way up here and attacking him makes him look even guiltier. He’s dead, though…so he can’t afford a lawyer to challenge me on it.” 

“Tony, I’m…I don’t even know what to begin to say, I’m sorry you were put into that position, and I’m sorry your father is dead,” Steve said weakly, not about to celebrate Howard’s death, even if it meant that they were free. He wasn’t that cruel. 

“My father…I don’t know, he died a long time ago. Before he put Bucky in a cell,” Tony sighed, letting go of Steve to go take Bucky’s hand. “How is he? What’s going on?” 

“Bucky’s going to be fine. He lost a lot of blood, but they put it back in him and closed the wound. They said it should heal and he’ll be okay, he’ll just need to wear a sling for a bit,” Steve said as he rubbed his eyes, yawning for what felt like the fiftieth time. “The babies…they’ve slowed down, they have to monitor them for a bit.” 

“All he ever wanted was grandkids. We give him some and he almost murders our husband,” Tony laughed weakly, shaking his head as he wished he could just crawl into bed. His bed, with both of them. “I called Dr. Marner, I told her we’d let her know about Bucky as soon as possible. She still wants to do this, if they make it, she feels fucking terrible about what happened.” 

“I don’t blame her,” Steve said quietly, going back to his seat, taking Bucky’s metal hand in his own. “I’m not angry at her…I don’t know what I feel, I just know it’s not that.” 

“I think I’m too tired to feel,” Tony looked at his watch, not surprised that it was some time after two. “Do you want a coffee, babe?” 

“Don’t leave us, Tony, not for anything, okay? Even coffee,” Steve said, sterner than he meant to, but he didn’t want to be alone again. “I’m sorry, I’m not trying to tell you what to do. If you need to go for a walk, that’s fine with me.” 

“No. All I thought about all night was seeing you two again. I just thought you might want one,” Tony said softly, understanding Steve’s frustration. “We’re going to get him home soon.” 

“Which home?” Steve asked, bringing Bucky’s hand up to his face to press a kiss to the back of it. 

“Back in Dawson City, for now anyway because of the police investigation. I told you Dr. Marner still wants to look after him, and we’ve brought him to the hospital once now, he’s not a secret any more,” Tony was relieved of that, though he was still sure that Bucky would want to remain low key. “I know this is where Bucky wants to be, it’s remote, he loves it here. We will have to occasionally return to civilization, or I will for work, you two can stay where you want. We will need to renovate the house to put in more bedrooms for the twins, maybe that can get taken care of when we have to go to the mansion next.” 

“I think you’re right, I think this is the best place for him, even if we have to pay for our own doctor to live nearby,” Steve frowned a little, looking at Bucky’s face as he flinched a bit. “I think he’s dreaming…” 

“I hope they’re something good, he deserves some happiness after today,” Tony turned his attention to the fetal monitor, not entirely sure what numbers were good or not. He was going to have to get filled in by the doctor. “I hope he doesn’t wake up until we know they’re okay.” 

“I’ve been thinking the same thing myself,” Steve looked over at Tony, extending his other hand out above Bucky. 

“We’ll take good care of him when he does wake up, he’ll have everything he needs,” Tony reached out, taking Steve’s hand and giving it a squeeze. “Are you okay?” 

“You’re asking if I’m okay? Tony…I can’t imagine what’s going through your head, don’t worry about me,” Steve said lowly, not wanting to wake Bucky, he felt like he and Tony needed to work some details out together before they talked to Bucky. 

“I do worry about you. It’s easier to worry about other people. I’ll unpack the whole thing with my father another day, but I don’t have the energy to do it now. I’m dealing with my real family,” Tony said, hoping that Steve got the hint that he was serious about that and that he didn’t want to discuss it. “I knew you’d check him in under James Stark-Rogers, you know, you’re kind of predictable.”

“Why, because you would have given them that name too?” Steve shot back with a smile, some of the tension in the room starting to fade.

“Precisely,” Tony grinned back, not sure if it was the stress of the day or his own exhaustion, but he was starting to get a bit silly. Maybe it was his brain’s way of protecting himself from the reality of what had happened. “Don’t worry, we’ll sort out everything with Bucky, I’ve got my lawyers working on everything.” 

“Thank you,” Steve said, turning his eyes back to Bucky, who was flinching again, his hands moving in his husbands grasps. “I think he’s waking up…” 

“Bucky?” Tony asked as Bucky’s eyes slowly fluttered open, not really focusing on anything. “Bucky, you’re okay, we’re just at a hospital, we’re right here with you.”

“…babies…” Bucky whispered, his hands squeezing Tony and Steve’s once he realized they were there. “What about the babies? Where is he?” 

“The babies are with us still. You see that machine beside Tony? It’s monitoring them, and we can see their heart rates right there,” Steve said, not wanting Bucky to know that they weren’t out of the woods yet. “Howard is dead, Bucky. He can’t hurt you any more, he can’t hurt any of us.”

“He was going to kill me, he was going to kill them…” Bucky sniffed as tears rose in his eyes, trying to sit up and gasping in pain from his shoulder. 

“But now he’s gone, you’re stronger than he could ever be. That’s why you’re here and he’s not,” Tony smiled despite the pang of guilt at feeling so relieved that his father was dead. Howard Stark wasn’t his family any more, though, that honour belonged only to Bucky and Steve, and the two babies he couldn’t stop thinking about. 

“I’m sorry…” Bucky’s bottom lip began to quiver as tears rose in his eyes. 

“I’m not, Bucky, I love you a hell of a lot more than I did him. And you did nothing wrong,” Tony insisted, pressing the back of Bucky’s hand against his cheek, wishing he could climb in bed with him. “Please, both of you, don’t tell me you’re sorry. I’m the one that should apologize for…fucking all of this.”

“I think the healthiest thing we could do right now is stop looking for who to blame and look for ways to move on,” Steve said as he watched Bucky open his mouth to argue only to close it again. “Bucky, we’re going to be staying in Dawson City, both because Tony needs to stay put until the police clear him and because we thought it’s where you want to be, is that okay?” He smiled a bit when Bucky nodded, though he could still see worry in his eyes. 

“…what are the police doing with you, Tony?” Bucky asked, sounding scared as his hand squeezed his husband’s. 

“Don’t worry about it. The police are going to have to talk to you, though, but I’m going to have my lawyer with you so you’re not alone. You’re not in trouble though, neither am I, all the evidence is pointing to them attacking you and us defending ourselves,” Tony reassured him, feeling confident enough about that after the last few hours he spent at the Whitehorse division of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police. “I’m just concerned about you, I want to take you home and hold you.” 

“Can you hold me here?” Bucky whispered as he stared at the fetal monitor, watching the numbers on it, wishing he could see his babies on their screen. 

“I asked before, they thought it would be better if we didn’t. In case we pulled on one of your sensors, knock something out of place,” Steve let go of Bucky to get up to fix his blanket, tucking him in carefully. “We need you to rest right now, that’s the best thing for you and the twins.”

“I don’t want to sleep…” Bucky whimpered, holding Tony’s hand tightly as Steve stroked his hair back from his forehead. “I don’t want to dream, I keep seeing him…” 

Steve frowned, his attention immediately moving to Tony, who looked like he’d just been punched in the stomach. That wasn’t going to help Tony’s guilt at all, though he supposed it was better that they knew what was scaring Bucky. 

“I’m not leaving your side, baby, I won’t let him near you. I love you so much and I’m not letting anyone touch you again,” Tony promised him, moving closer to cup Bucky’s cheek in his hand. “I’m here to protect you, we’re both here to protect you, and we’re not going to leave our posts until we get you home and in between us.” 

“He’s right, get some sleep,” Steve said as he gave Bucky a warm smile, so relieved to see those beautiful blue eyes looking back at him. “I love you so much, baby.” 

“I love you both too,” Bucky said, trying to keep his eyes open as long as he could before he lost his battle and fell back into a deep sleep, aided by the painkillers coursing through his system. He looked like an angel as he slept, his dark eyelashes fanning out above his pale cheeks. 

“I’ll take the first shift, you go to sleep for a few hours and I’ll wake you up if he wakes at all,” Tony said, still looking at Bucky as he spoke to Steve, hoping this didn’t turn into an argument, he didn’t think he could have a civil disagreement right now. 

“Alright,” Steve agreed after a moment of thought as he tried to ignore his headache from lack of sleep. He was no help in the current state he was in, he needed to rest up a bit so he could look after Bucky and their babies. “You wake me the second he’s awake, right? Do you need a coffee or anything?” 

“Of course, and I’m fine,” Tony said with a tight smile, not looking forward to what his brain was going to be subjecting him to in the quiet and dark once he didn’t have Steve there to pull him back from the edge. “I love you, Steve.” 

“I love you too, Tony,” Steve said as he leaned back in his chair, closing his eyes and getting comfortable. “Don’t let me sleep too long.” 

“I won’t,” Tony watched at Steve slowly drifted off to sleep, not looking entirely comfortable in his chair, as he put his feet on the bottom of the hospital bed. With his elbows planted on the thin mattress of the hospital bed beside Bucky, Tony leaned in and buried his face against his hands, fingers carding though his hair as the tears squeezed out between his eyelids, running down his palm. In that moment, all the pain of the day caught up with him hard, and he knew then that it was going to continue to weigh on him for a long time. If they long the twins, it was going to be forever.


	14. Cathartic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The guys have an emotional morning and find out what they're having.

Tony never thought something so small could be so noticeable.

The spot wasn’t big, maybe the size of a grape, and it only went a few millimetres deep into the wood, a peeled back chunk exposing a patch of unprotected wood tinged a red ochre. Nothing around it was stained the same, the protective layer that kept the rest of the wood dark brown and smooth had done its job, though that one area still stood out, telling a story of what had happened that night. After Howard died, the cleaning service had tried their best to get the blood and brain off of the surface, and Tony couldn’t fault them for the job they did. It wasn’t one he could have done himself, even if he was the one to pull the trigger on his father himself, but seeing the aftermath was something entirely different. 

Every time Tony looked at that spot, every time he saw Howard’s blood, he could hear Howard’s voice screaming at him. 

“Tony…Tony!” Steve said loudly, trying to break his husband’s concentration off the floor and onto something, anything else. 

“Hm?” Tony looked up, trying to look innocent as he continued to walk over to their new couch to take a seat. He wasn’t about to keep the one that Bucky had been shot on. That was easily replaceable, that had been done immediately. 

“Bucky has changed his mind about something,” Steve said from the other end of the couch, Bucky’s head in his lap. “He wants to find out what we’re having, so I booked an appointment for this afternoon.” 

“That’s never one hundred percent, they might discover something about themselves down the road,” Tony said softly, looking out the window before giving his head a little shake and looking at Bucky. “Not that I’m trying to ruin the excitement, I’m just…it’s fine. I think it’s a good idea.” 

“If something happens down the road, we’ll support them and love them and let them be who they want,” Steve said in a reassuring tone, petting Bucky’s hair as he watched Tony, concerned about how he’d been acting in the two weeks since they’d returned to their home. 

“I thought it would help us talk about names. We’ve only really been joking about it so far,” Bucky said, his hand on his stomach, which was getting bigger by the day now. 

“I’m so bad at naming things, I think I should be out of the running,” Steve said with a little laugh. “We had two alley cats outside of our place and I named them Mr. Tabby and Mrs. Black, and then it turns out I got it backwards and Mr. Tabby had Mrs. Black’s kittens.” 

“You’re not out of the running, your input is still important,” Bucky sat up a bit before flopping back against Steve, looking up at him. “I’ve only named stuffed animals as a kid, so I’m probably not going to be any good at it. And we can’t let it all go to Tony.”

“You don’t want that, I’d name them them something nerdy,” Tony laughed a little, trying to think of something off the top of his head that wasn’t his father’s name. “Uhm…Luke and Leia? No matter what we’re having, that’s it. They’re just Luke and Leia.” 

“I don’t think that’s going to work,” Steve chuckled softly, trying to keep things light hearted even though he could see how distracted Tony was. “Bucky, why don’t you go have a shower? It’ll help pass the time til we talk to Dr. Marner.” 

“Okay,” Bucky grunted, getting up with a little difficultly. “I don’t want to get any bigger than this.” 

“You’re at twenty six weeks, you’re going to get bigger,” Steve said as he gave him a hand getting to his feet. “Don’t take a long shower, don’t tire yourself out.” 

“I’ll be fine,” Bucky said as he walked awkwardly away, trying his best not to waddle as he headed up the stairs, hanging tightly to the railing. 

“I know…” Steve waited for the sound of the shower upstairs before he turned to Tony, looking very serious. “Tony, if you can’t stay here, you have to tell us now. You have to tell me now.”

“I’m okay, really,” Tony said after a minute, ignoring the voice in his head that insisted he clearly wasn’t even close to okay. 

“Bucky knows, Tony. If your goal was to protect his feelings, he’s already guessed,” Steve said with a sign, getting up to go sit closer to his husband, wrapping an arm around him. “Of course it was going to bother you, even if it was a stranger it would probably bother you, not many people can just shoot someone and be instantly okay.”

“That doesn’t mean I regret it, though,” Tony said stiffly, looking down at the red pillow he was hugging against his chest. “That doesn’t mean I wouldn’t do the same thing again to protect my family.” 

“I wasn’t doubting that, but if you need to get out of here, we can go stay somewhere in town and have the floor fixed,” Steve offered, desperate to get that spot off the floor too. “Or if you need to sell this place…”

“No, he’s not wrecking this place for us,” Tony said sternly, getting to his feet immediately, looking both angry and determined. “This is Bucky’s home, we are not taking him from again. The hospital was bad enough.” 

“Tony, we’re Bucky’s home. He was happy in the mansion too, right?” Steve pointed out, sure that Bucky would agree with him on this. “He wants you to be happy, and the only reason I’m not including him in this talk right now is because his blood pressure was a bit up today.”

“I’m not selling this place, I still think it would break his heart, I’m not…” Tony shook his head, dropping the pillow back down on the couch beside Steve, going into the kitchen to pour himself a drink. “If his blood pressure is up, he doesn’t need to be somewhere other than home. He needs his own bed, his own things, his own space.” 

“And what about you? Are you going to keep staring at that spot and torturing yourself?” Steve asked as he stood up as well, following Tony, and leaning against the island as he watched Tony toss back some whiskey. “This isn’t the answer either.”

“Depends what the question is,” Tony said, filling his glass again, clearly not caring that it was still early in the day. 

“You’re right. Like if the questions is ‘what’s the stupidest thing I could do now?’,” Steve shot back, reaching out to grab the bottle. “I am not trying to tell you what to feel right now, Tony, but I am begging you to look for another way to deal with it because I do not want to lose you to drinking. You will break Bucky’s heart, you won’t be able to be there for the kids, and I don’t want to lose you either.” 

“You’re not going to lose me,” Tony said angrily, half wanting to take the bottle back, but he didn’t want to escalate things between them. “I just need some time, like you said, no one gets over something like this overnight.” 

“Will you talk to someone? You got a doctor to do video calls for a pregnant man, I’m sure you can find a therapist to talk to that way, and I can take Bucky somewhere so you have privacy,” Steve suggested, trying to keep his voice calm and gentle, knowing that the last thing Tony needed right now was a fight, and they’d already narrowly avoided one. 

Tony opened his mouth, not sure whether he was going to argue or relent, when he heard the basement door close. Putting down his empty glass down, he followed Steve out of the kitchen and into the main room. Immediately, he saw Bucky, wet haired and in his pyjamas, on his hands and knees between the back of the couch and the dining room table, grunting as he stabbed at the floor with a keyhole saw. 

“Bucky, holy shit, get up!” Steve hurried to his side, wanting to pull him out of there so he could finish the work himself. He wasn’t denying that this was a good idea. 

“No, I’m doing this,” Bucky gritted his teeth, stabbing into the wood clumsily, and trying to cut away all of that broken piece. He didn’t care what the floor was going to look like after, he was making sure it was clean though. 

“There’s probably a better tool for that. What else is downstairs?” Steve immediately headed for the basement, hoping to find something more effective than the keyhole saw amongst the old tools that had been sold with the house. 

“Bucky. you don’t have to do that. You shouldn’t be, you might cut yourself,” Tony said as he knelt down as well, glad that he hadn’t drank enough to make his head swim. 

“I want to do it for you,” Bucky said, biting this inside of his cheek as he managed to peel off a piece of blood covered wood, setting it neatly aside before he began to saw at it again. 

“You don’t owe me anything, you know that right?” Tony asked, reaching his hand out to touch Bucky’s shoulder, giving it a squeeze as he watched his husband working on the floor. 

“…I know you and Steve would say that, but it’s not as easy to convince me it’s true,” Bucky grunted, taking another small piece and putting it with the first. “Just let me do this and I promise you I’ll stop apologizing to you.” 

Tony plunked down on the floor, tired of squatting, watching as Bucky took apart the offending stain, wondering if it was as easy as this to ease his mind. “You’re doing a good job at that. Should have used the chainsaw in the shed though, it’d be done in four cuts.” 

“Like I know how to operate a chainsaw. I couldn’t even use a microwave until a couple months ago,” Bucky said, holding the handle tight as he stabbed at the wood until he was stuck in deep enough that he could push a piece off. “This is good enough.” 

“Your back and shoulder must be killing you, though, you don’t have to do it all now,” Tony said softly, wishing Bucky would stop, especially when he could see him hurting. “You’re supposed to be resting with your blood pressure. Let me take you to the couch.” 

“Almost. Just give me this, please, let me do this for you,” Bucky gripped the saw tighter in his metal hand, breathing hard as he tried to ignore the pain in his body. “I’m almost done…” 

“Is he still on the floor? Tony, get him up, I got this,” Steve said, coming up the stairs with an electric handheld saw, holding the cord in his hand as he walked over. 

“Leave him,” Tony didn’t want to agree with Bucky’s logic that he should do this, but he wanted the burden lifted from him, and he knew that would be worth a bit of pain in Bucky’s books. 

“I’ve got this, then we have to burn these pieces so you can’t see them again,” Bucky cut off the majority of the spot, working on the last of it now, though the pain in his shoulder was starting to get overwhelming. “I don’t want you to have to look at it ever again.”

“I’ll start a fire,” Steve said, going to the wood stove to throw in some paper and kindling with a smaller log, lighting it up so the flames would be ready for the bits of their floor. 

“I think you have it, Bucky,” Tony said as the last little piece splintered away, frowning when he saw the spot of blood on Bucky’s shirt. “No no no, you’re done. No more.” Reaching for Bucky, he wasn’t surprised when the younger man pulled away, going at a bit of floor that didn’t appear to have anything on it. “Bucky!”

“I don’t want you to hate me!” Bucky yelled back at him, chipping harder at the wound in the floorboard, frantically, leaning over even more to look for any hint of red. 

“I don’t hate you, I couldn’t hate you, I love you with all of my heart!” Tony stressed to him, not wanting to pull on Bucky, knowing that it would make his shoulder worse. The few drops of blood on his shoulder had turned into one large spot with a line descending from it. 

“You’re going to hate me…” Bucky wept, trying to jab the saw into the wood again, though it fell from his weak grip. “You’re going to hate…”

The second it clattered to the floor, Tony was over in a flash, pulling Bucky into his arms and onto his lap, rocking him slowly. He felt like his heart was breaking as Bucky sobbed, feeling both tears and blood soaking into his own shirt as he held him close. The thought that he’d been walking around with that much guilt on his chest hurt him deeply, and looking up into Steve’s eyes, he realized he wasn’t the only one who felt like that. 

“Go get us each a new shirt, I’ll clean him up,” Tony said, slowly getting up and pulling Bucky with him, making sure to grab the pieces of wood Bucky had dug out of the floor as Steve disappeared up the stairs “Do you want to throw these in the wood stove, Buck? Then I can clean you up and have you ready for Dr. Marner’s phone call.” 

Bucky just nodded, taking the bits off Tony and walking over to throw them in the fire unceremoniously. He felt like the emotional outburst had drained him along with the pain, and he just wanted to close his eyes and forget about the rest of the day. He didn’t want to disappoint the others, though, so he still felt obligated to having an ultrasound and finding out what they were having. They couldn’t just call them Luke and Leia. 

“Come here…” Tony led Bucky over to the couch, sitting down with him before he carefully took the younger man’s shirt off, holding it against the wound. “Bucky, you have to take it easy, this is a serious wound, you could have really hurt yourself. Not again, okay? Promise me.” 

“I promise,” Bucky said softly, reaching up to rub at his eyes, wiping them on his flannel pants when he was done. “I really love you, Tony, I really do.” 

“And I love you,” Tony said, cupping Bucky’s cheek in his hand, leaning in to press their lips together for a moment. “You didn’t think I loved you less because of what happened, do you?” 

“Not right now, no, I know you love me a lot, but I was afraid that maybe down the road, you’d…” Bucky bit his lip hard, not wanting to even think about it, though he felt like Tony deserved the truth. “I thought maybe when the kids were born, and they ask about Grandpa, and you’d realize you’ve had to live without him because of what happened with me.” 

“You did not cost me my father, I promise you, and I’m not going to feel differently,” Tony said softly, looking into Bucky’s eyes as he stroked his thumb along his cheekbone. “As for the kids, we can lie or something. And when they get to be teenagers, then we can tell them the truth about him, unless that steps on the toes of what you want to tell them about yourself.”

“I don’t want to lie to them, I don’t think I could keep up a lie that big,” Bucky said, wincing a little from the pain in his shoulder, hoping that he hadn’t made things worse for himself. “If you want me to say someone else did that to me, we can…”

“And protect him? No. No, I’m not lying to the kids at all, you’re right. I don’t want to have stories I need to keep straight,” Tony looked behind him as Steve came down the stairs with a couple of new shirts and the first aid kit. “Steve, we’re telling the kids the truth about Bucky, and my dad, and anything else they need to know about. We’re just going to have to figure out how to say it.” 

“If that’s what you two want, I’m on board,” Steve said as he opened the first aid kit, taking out a wipe to clean the area and a pad of gauze to put back on it. “Kids are smart, they’d figure out the truth if we didn’t give it to them, and they wouldn’t trust us. So I like this. We just have to tell them in a way that they understand.” 

“It’s probably good we had this talk. We don’t tend to discuss the more depressing parts of our lives,” Tony said, helping Steve clean Bucky’s shoulder so they could re-bandage it. It had mostly stopped bleeding now, but it was going to need changing soon. 

 

“I think you two just don’t want me to sad. Even if we watch a sad movie, you’re so quick to start joking after, like I’ll break if I start to cry,” Bucky pointed out with a weak smile on his face. He was thankful that they cared for him as much as they did, even if they were too careful with him sometimes.

“Because you’re been sad enough in your life, we want to turn that around,” Steve said as he sat behind Bucky, rubbing his back in slow circles, leaning down to press a kiss to the back of his neck. “Are you still up for that appointment? We really don’t have to if you’re not feeling okay.”

“And disappoint you both? No, I’m really fine with it,” Bucky insisted, relaxing at Steve’s touch, his hand going down to his stomach. “I can feel them moving a bit, I think they want me to go through with it.” 

“If you’re sure,” Tony took off his shirt, switching it with the new one, and taking both soiled shirts to the wood stove. Looking over at Bucky leaning against Steve, the young man’s eyes still red with tears, Tony took a deep breath and pursed his lips. “…I’m going to get a therapist, I’m going to talk to someone about my father. And I think Bucky could use one too.” 

“I don’t know. Talking to a stranger alone is a really big step, but you’ve made some of those already,” Steve said, looking at Bucky and taking his hand. 

“…if Tony’s doing it, I should do it too,” Bucky said, not sounding as sure of himself as he meant to, swallowing hard the more he thought about it. “I mean…could you go with me?” 

“We could work something out to at least start like that,” Steve was sure that had to be true, and if anyone could find a doctor to work with them, Tony could. “Why don’t we see if we can do that tomorrow?” 

“Soon’s as good as any time…” Tony said as he went to get the ultrasound machine, plugging it in as he pushed it over, feeling like they should do this now, hoping the doctor wasn’t busy. He just needed to think about something else for now. “Why don’t we call now?” 

“If…if you want. Bucky?” Steve asked, not sure why Tony wanted their appointment to be pushed up, though he supposed that he was just stressed out. 

“I’m okay with doing this now,” Bucky said, figuring there was no point putting a shirt on for a woman that was going to see him naked soon. 

“Excellent. Good. I just sent her a text,” Tony said, taking a seat on the couch again, setting his phone on the table beside him. “I’m sorry, it’s just been a very intense day so far, I just need to do something nice.” 

“It’s fine, I’m not going to be upset because you’re taking care of yourself. We were doing this anyway,” Steve reached over, taking Tony’s hand and giving it a squeeze. “We’ll just get to find out sooner, hopefully.” 

“…we should guess, I mean, there’s really only three combinations, winner doesn’t have to make dinner tonight?” Tony suggested, looking over at his phone to see if the doctor had messaged back before turning his attention back to Steve and Bucky. 

“Bucky’s never made dinner. And what if we can’t tell?” Steve asked with a little smile, running his finger over the back of Tony’s hand. “You’re just going to help me make it anyway, aren’t you?” 

“If we don’t find out, the bet is off, that’s the fairest way to do it,” Tony said, trying to keep a straight face. “And no, you have to look after dinner if you lose. You have to drive to town and get a large pizza.” 

“Driving down that road is punishment enough,” Steve said with a laugh, glad to see Tony smiling after how upset he’d been this morning. “Okay, I think we’re having two boys.” 

“It is. Bucky will have to serve out his punishment at home, because we’re having two girls. Sorry you got last choice, Bucky, it’s just because we weren’t going to make you go in the car either way,” Tony winked at his smaller husband, giving him a smile. “I think you’ll like your punishment, don’t worry.” 

“I’m not worried,” Bucky said as he smiled back, his hands on his stomach as the babies moved inside him. “I think they’re on my side right now, so I’ll say I’m pretty sure we’re having one of each.” 

“We’ll love whatever we get, won’t we?” Tony said, bringing his hand over to touch Bucky’s very round stomach, watching as the twins moved under his skin, a sight that he didn’t think he’d ever get used to both for the awe of watching his children and the fact that Alien had been one of his favourite movies as a kid. 

“We wi-“ Steve turned his head as the computer began to ring. Letting Tony sit up to accept the car, not wanting to disturb Bucky’s head in his lap, he smiled as Dr. Marner appeared on the screen. “Hi, Laura, sorry if we interrupted your plans.”

“Not at all, I was just packing and doing laundry, and then and seeing if I had time for a nap before you called. This is actually more convenient,” she said as she looked at Bucky, still amazed every time that a young man was carrying twins for as long as he had. “I will be up there and able to see Bucky in person this weekend.”

“Thank you so much. Thank you so much for that,” Tony said, hooking up the ultrasound to the computer before sitting back on the couch. “We probably should have just waited until you’re up here for this. Sorry.”

“It’s fine, really, I’m pretty much packed,” Dr. Marner said, waving off his concerns with a smile. She still felt bad for telling Howard where they were, and while they didn’t blame her, she still felt it was up to her to make sure Bucky was alright. 

“We have a bet on what I’m having,” Bucky added to the conversation, glad that he wasn’t nervous talking to her now, it was going to make her visits a lot easier. 

“Don’t tell me who has what, I’d like to be surprised,” she laughed, watching as Tony squirted some gel on Bucky’s belly before taking out the want, wasting no time to find out what they were having. 

“I’ll start here. Don’t tell us til the end, we need to build suspense,” Tony said, figuring he’d seen them moving in that area not long before. “Okay, that’s an octopus. Where do I go go now?” 

“Two o clock…five…just a little more…eight…” It took a lot of numbers and patience, but after a few minutes, Dr. Marner had her notes, and she was facing the camera with a smile. “The twins are doing great, all of you, the one is bigger than the other, but they’re both healthy sizes. Are you ready to find out what you’re having?” 

“I think so,” Bucky said, using some paper towel to clean his stomach off before taking his husbands by their hands, holding them tightly. 

“Alright. Well, the biggest baby is a girl, and…” Dr. Marner paused, trying to be a little dramatic for them. “And the other is a boy. Congratulations, who had one of each?” 

“That’s me,” Bucky smiled as he raised his hand, though he knew he’d have loved any outcome. 

“Luke and Leia. I called it,” Tony said as he put the ultrasound machine away. 

“No, we’re not calling them that, stop it,” Steve argued gently, though at this moment he was almost happy enough to buy into Tony’s idea. He was going to have a son and a daughter, he had his two husbands, his heart couldn’t get any more full at that moment. 

“We’ll talk names later, we have to celebrate,” Tony said, turning to the computer. “Dr. Marner, thank you so much for your help. When you arrive, let me know what time you’re coming in. I’ll make sure one of us is there to help you with your bags.” 

“Thank you, I appreciate that, I’ll be in touch,” Dr. Marner said before turning the feed off, knowing the three men wanted to celebrate. 

“Seriously…a boy and a girl…” Bucky said, hugging his stomach, looking like he was in shock. They suddenly felt so much more real to him, and the fact that they were only a couple months away made him terrified as well as elated. “We need to come up with names, so…everyone start thinking about that.” 

“We have lots of time, don’t worry,” Steve reassured Bucky, rubbing his good shoulder to ease some of the tension in it. “Even if they don’t have names for a bit after they’re born, they’re babies, they won’t know the difference.” 

“Steve’s right, let’s think about that later and celebrate now. I’ll go into town later, get pizza and drinks, and we’ll let Bucky pick the movie,” Tony said, sitting down and putting Bucky’s legs in his lap. “For now, you have both of us, Bucky, what would you like to do?” 

Bucky looked between them at the wide smiles on both their faces, a small one appearing on his own as he leaned back against Steve and closed his eyes. “How about we just lie together for a bit?” Bucky said sleepily, already worn down with the excitement of his day, though he wasn’t ready to take a nap just yet. “Our bed?” 

“Our bed sounds perfect,” Tony said, hoping that this was Bucky’s not so subtle way to get them all naked together. “Need a hand up the stairs?” 

“If you don’t mind…” Bucky said as Tony helped him to his feet, and then swept him off them. “I don’t ever want to say no to you when you want to spoil me.” 

“Good news, you don’t have to,” said Steve as he followed them up the stairs, ready to kiss Bucky so hard he wouldn’t be able to breathe. 

“Exactly,” Tony said as he walked over to it, resting Bucky on the bed, and leaning in to start undressing him. “You’re in good hands, baby.”


	15. It's Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky wakes up in labour and the other two do their best to help him.

Bucky climbed out of bed just after four in the morning for his third trip to the bathroom that night, his back aching more than usual as he shuffled to the bathroom. He’d managed to get away this time without waking anyone, though that was probably because both Tony and Steve had been up with him during his other bathroom breaks and they needed the sleep. Bucky didn’t mind, they’d been spoiling him continuously since he was put on strict bed rest a few weeks before. He felt guilty that they’d been working so hard for him, but he knew deep down that they would probably rather do that and ensure he and the babies were fine than have Bucky do his share of the dishes. 

Washing his hands and ready to go back to bed, Bucky felt a strange pain in his back that took the wind out of him for a moment. Putting the lid down on the toilet, he sat down on it, putting his hand on his back and closing his eyes as he breathed slowly. It was probably a pinched nerve or something, but he couldn’t help but to worry about it. He didn’t need any more mystery pains, his body already felt like he’d switched places with an old person with how slow he was to get to his feet. 

“Fuck…” Bucky breathed as he stood up, though a few seconds later, the pain slowly faded, leaving him with a dull ache. He wanted to go to bed, he was still exhausted, but he didn’t want to wake Tony and Steve by rolling around trying to accommodate an aching back. He was going to have to go downstairs to the couch and hope it was as easy to fall asleep there now as it was in the afternoon watching television with his husbands. 

Stepping out of the bathroom, he patted his leg when he realized the husky pup Tony and Steve had gotten him as a belated birthday present was staring at him. “Come on, Laika,” he called softly, heading downstairs to the living room with his dog in tow. Spreading out on the couch, he pulled a blanket down over himself as Laika got behind his knees. The pain was still there, almost like an echo, but he didn’t think he needed to wake Steve and Tony about it. Hopefully they’d understand why he spent the rest of the night on the couch. 

After a few minutes of getting comfortable and petting the dog, Bucky was about to close his eyes and get comfortable again when the pain returned, worse this time. It felt like someone was gathering up all his skin and muscle and twisting it to a knot in the middle of his lower back. Whimpering, Bucky’s hand moved out to the coffee table as the other held his stomach. Picking up Tony’s watch that he’d left down there, he noted the time in case the pain faded and came back again, in case it was the one thing he was most terrified of. He wasn’t ready to have twins, he barely knew anything himself, how was he supposed to raise children? He didn’t want to tell Steve and Tony, either, they didn’t need to think he was trying to back out of this on them, he didn’t want to lose them. 

Timing the pain, Bucky discovered it wasn’t lasting as long as he felt. He was going to have to keep doing this, though Dr. Marner had told him early labour could last for days. Just another reason for him to do this alone. He was going to need Tony and Steve more as it got closer to the end, right now was easy compared to that, though he wished he could train the dog to go get his heating pad for his back muscles. Turning on the television, he kept a close eye on the watch in his hand, determined to keep everything under control. 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Tony had been having a blissful dream about taking Steve and Bucky on a trip to Japan to his favourite food district in Osaka, an area called Dontonbori. They were walking up and down the streets, sampling all the amazing food from fried cheese balls to ice cream in buns to fried pork on a stick, chasing it all down with a cold beer. They were having so much fun in his dream that he didn’t notice Bucky disappear from their group, and Steve was too drunk to help him. Dragging his one husband, Tony ran up and down the street, looking in every shop and alley, getting more frightened by the moment. Screaming Bucky’s name at the top of his lungs, Tony was in a full panic as something startled him out of his sleep.

“Oh shit!” Tony jumped up a little, looking over the edge of his bed at Laika who was whimpering and scratching at the floor. “What’s wrong? Need to go out?” Looking at the clock, he was surprised that it was past nine, though he supposed they all needed the sleep. Rolling over to cuddle his husbands, he frowned when he realized that only Steve was there. “Steve? Where’s Bucky?”

“Mmm, dunno…” Steve mumbled as he slowly woke up, turning over as he heard Laika whimpering too. “Why’s she crying?”

“Bucky??” Tony got out of bed quickly, grabbing a t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants off the chair in their room, running for the stairs. “Bucky, where are you?” Rushing down the stairs, ready to throw his clothes on once he hit the bottom, he was momentarily relieved to see Bucky until he realized that he was on his hands and knees on the floor. “Steve!!” 

“I’m coming!” Steve said, sticking his head through his shirt as he came down the stairs after Tony, immediately spotting their youngest husband on the floor in agony. “Bucky, is it time? I’m calling Dr. Marner.” 

“Not yet! Not…not yet…let her sleep, I’m okay,” Bucky moaned, clutching his stomach as he clenched his eyes closed, trying his best to breathe. “It started after four…” 

“That was five hours ago! Why didn’t you get us?” Tony asked, frowning as he knelt next to Bucky, putting a hand on his back. “We would have sat up with you, you didn’t have to be alone. You’re not doing any part of this alone, baby.” 

“I thought you needed the sleep,” Bucky slowly began to relax as his contraction eased off a bit. He still felt like he was going to throw up, though, he felt more nauseous now than on the airplane. “They’re only eight minutes apart, so it’s not a big deal yet. I don’t feel well, though, I feel really sick.” 

“I’ll get you something for your stomach,” Steve ducked into the kitchen to make a peppermint tea for Bucky, along with a few plain crackers on a plate. 

“Bucky, you have to tell us what’s going on, okay?” Tony got Bucky back on the couch, rubbing his back in circles. “Bucky, are you okay? It’s okay to admit that you’re scared.” 

“I don’t want you to doubt me…” Bucky said weakly, turning his head to cautiously look into Tony’s eyes. 

“I won’t doubt you. You think I’m not scared? I’m terrified, and I’m not the one doing all the work,” Tony said, pulling Bucky closer gently, not wanting to twist him up somehow and have the next contraction really hurt him. “I don’t feel qualified for this. At all. And I’m thirty three, I’m running a company right now, but I’m still scared about being a father.” 

“I don’t want to be scared, though, I want to feel confident. I want to feel like I can do this, my entire life has been leading up to this it feels like,” Bucky said, his voice a low whisper, biting his lip as soon as he said it. “Not that I’m saying this is anything like what I’d thought was going to happen. I just mean there was a lot of pressure to have a good pregnancy and deliver healthy babies, so right now I’m thinking about all the stuff they made me read.” 

“I can’t imagine teenage boys find books on pregnancy to be very entertaining. I don’t think anyone that age would,” Tony pressed a kiss against Bucky’s temple, nuzzling it softy. “I know what you mean, baby, you don’t have to explain yourself to me.” 

“Okay, I have peppermint tea and crackers, what else do I need?” Steve asked, looking a little panicked as he sat down on Bucky’s other side. 

“Nothing. A bucket actually,” Bucky said, not sure about how his stomach was going to take the tea and crackers. “Definitely a bucket, I feel like someone’s beaten me up inside and all my organs are protesting.” 

“I bought one just for this occasion,” Tony said as he got up to head to the kitchen, opening the hall closet and taking a red bucket out. 

“Does it say ‘Bucky’s Bucket’?” Bucky asked as Tony walked over with the bucket, smirking a little when Tony paused mid-step as he came out. “How’d I know?” 

“Most likely because you love me so much,” Tony said as he handed it over to Bucky with a smile. “See you can’t say I don’t spoil you with my billions, that bucket is thick plastic and is resistant to breaking. That’s what it said online, anyway, I think it had four stars.” 

“You could have at least gotten our husband a five star bucket,” Steve joked, watching Bucky take a slow drink of his tea. “So how are we going to get him out of here when the time does come?” 

“I taped a plastic sheet to the backseat, we can put him there, and then we’ll have to drive really slowly and carefully because I don’t see those bumps being very good for someone in labour. In retrospect, I should have gotten this road fixed and paved,” Tony said, mentally kicking himself for missing that detail. He was going to feel guilt for every pain Bucky had along that road. 

“That was an option? Y-ohhh!” Bucky set his mug down, curling up around his stomach, and letting out a garbled cry through gritted teeth. Grabbing the watch, he noted the time before putting it back down again. “No more. No more, please. I can’t do this!” 

“You know what? Fuck this brave ‘let the doctor sleep’ shit, we’re going in now, we need some kind of relief for you. You’re not sitting here in pain,” Tony said, getting up and grabbing the bucket, looking around for anything else they might need. “Don’t we have a bag?” 

“It’s at the front door, Tony,” Steve said as he grabbed the blanket off the couch to wrap around Bucky, waiting until his contraction was over before trying to move him. “Just wear those boots, you can step into them. You look cold, you’re shaking all over. Do you need another blanket?” 

“I’m not cold, I’m scared!” Bucky insisted, unable to help the tears that were rising in his eyes. “I’m sorry, I love you two so much, I didn’t mean to yell.” 

“Not a problem, you’re having a baby, yell away,” Tony said as he picked up the bag, heading to the SUV with both in hand, wanting to get going as soon as possible. “Got him, Steve?” 

“Got him,” Steve said, leading Bucky outside, much to Laika’s disappointment, and locking the door. “Come on, Bucky. Do you want me to carry you?” 

“No, I’m fine,” Bucky got in the back seat, hugging his blanket around himself as he got as comfortable. “Can you sit with me, though? I don’t want to sit by myself.”

Nodding, Steve went around to the other side, getting into the car after admiring how Tony plastic wrapped the back seat. “You know his water’s not going to break, right?” 

“He can still puke or spontaneously go to the bathroom or something. You can’t get vomit out of car upholstery, I don’t want it to smell,” Tony said, about to drive off when he hit the brakes. “Oh god, car seats!” Jumping out of the car, he ran back to the house with Steve and Bucky watching. 

“We should have rehearsed this,” Steve said with a little chuckle, sending a message to Dr. Marner, figuring they should let her know they were heading for the little hospital in Dawson City. 

“What, getting in the car with three things?” Bucky asked, breathing slowly with his eyes closed, trying not to get sick. “Four if you include me.” 

“It sounds a lot easier than it feels,” Steve began to rub his back again as Tony came out of the house carrying one brown and one grey car seat, running over to the liftgate to put them in along with the bag before turning to Bucky. “Are you okay?” 

“I have people trying to escape me, it’s not much fun,” Bucky said as he wrapped both arms around his bucket, putting his face inside of it and moaning softly. “I read so many books, I didn’t think it would feel like this, I didn’t think anything could hurt this bad.” 

“Hopefully it won’t get much worse and Dr. Marner can get them out of you soon,” Steve pulled Bucky over into a hug as Tony got back in the SUV and began to drive towards town. “You should have woken us up, I don’t like the thought of you suffering alone.” 

“I thought you could use the rest,” Bucky admitted, leaning his head on Steve’s shoulder as a wave of emotion hit him, bringing tears to his eyes. “I wish I woke you up too, I’m sorry…” 

“It’s fine, Bucky. No one’s upset, just worry about right now. We’re here with you now,” Tony said as he tried to drive both carefully and fast, which wasn’t working very well judging by the sounds of Bucky throwing up into his bucket. “Sorry, sorry…OH sorry!” He was doing his best to dodge the potholes, but he only managed to steer them into other ones. 

“Get it up, you’re doing great, baby,” Steve cooed, helping him hold the bucket, still rubbing his back. “It’s not much longer, you can do this, you’re stronger than anyone I’ve ever met.” 

“Maybe we should stop and dump that, he might need it again,” Tony said as he pulled over, waiting for Bucky to finish before he got out and took the bucket to dump it in the ditch, trying to ignore the sight and smell of it. He was going to be having kids, this would probably be on him at some point, and he was honestly struggling with that part. Taking out a half drunk bottle of water out of the cup holder, he rinsed the bucket and returned it to Bucky, miraculously not adding to the sick on the side of the road himself. 

“You’re empty now, hopefully,” Steve said as he reached over to undo Bucky’s loose ponytail, gathering his hair back into a neater one before he put the elastic back on his hair. “There, you look gorgeous.” 

“I don’t think that’s the right word for it,” Bucky hugged his bucket close, still not sure if he was going to need it again. 

“Are you kidding? You’re about to have our babies, you’re the most beautiful being in the universe right now,” Tony said, looking in the rear view mirror at his husbands, giving them a smile before he went back to concentrating on the road ahead. 

“You’re both insane…” Bucky mumbled, resting his cheek against his arm as he draped his arm over the bucket. The road was making him feel sick again, but he didn’t think there was any point saying anything, not until another contraction hit. “STOP! Stop stop stop!!

Tony hit the brakes hard, which only made them hit a pothole even harder, straining all of them against their seatbelts. Once they’d come to a rest, Bucky tore off his seatbelt, getting on the backseat on his hands and knees, not caring that he was half on Steve, just needing to get the pressure of his weight off of his back. 

“Bucky, do you need me to move?” Steve asked, not sure if he was in the way or desperately needed at this point, but he knew he should ask. 

“N-no…” Bucky breathed, trying to stay even and slow, but he felt like he’d been kicked in the chest. No part of this was like the books so far, he didn’t know he could go into something like this with so much information and know absolutely nothing. “I can’t take it…the contractions on top of this road, I can’t do it.” 

“…we don’t have long to go, can you hold out another quarter mile?” Tony asked, wishing he could do something to ease this pain for Bucky, hating to see him like this. He had to remind himself that it was going to be worth it, but at this point it was hard to keep that in his mind. 

“I can’t…I can’t do it…” Bucky whimpered, breaking down in tears, shaking his head.

“Can you walk?” Tony turned around in his seat, looking at Steve as Bucky’s sobs seemed to answer that. “Shit…” 

Steve tightened his arm around Bucky, his brow furrowing as he looked at Tony, only coming to one conclusion here. “I’m going to carry him,” he said casually as if it was nothing to carry a thirty five week pregnant man a quarter of a mile. 

“I weigh a lot,” Bucky said through tears, shaking his head, and leaning back against the seat. 

“I know what you weigh. I do work out almost every day, I know what I’m doing,” Steve said, getting out of the car and reaching for Bucky’s hand. “Let me try, I want to help, and this is probably the only useful thing I can do through all of this.” 

Bucky looked into Steve’s eyes to see if he was serious, cautiously extending his hand until Steve took it, helping him from the back of the car carefully. Giving Bucky a kiss on the forehead, Steve scooped him up into his arms with a grunt, trying not to act like Bucky was heavy, that was the last thing he needed. Nodding at Tony, Steve began to walk, heading for the main road with Tony close behind him in the SUV. 

“Thank you for doing this for me,” Bucky said, watching him as he rested his head against Steve’s shoulder. 

“I would do anything for you,” Steve replied, tightening his grip as he walked along the side of the road, which was oddly more stable than the road itself. “You should know that by now.” 

“It’s one thing to know it, it’s another to see it…” Bucky said softly, putting his hand on his stomach, making a face. “Steve, you know I’d do anything for you too, right?” 

“You’ve definitely proved that to me a thousand times over, Buck, I’m going to be a father because of you, I’m a husband again because of you,” Steve adjusted Bucky in his arms, smiling at him as they got moving again. “You brought everything into my life, I felt like I was sleepwalking before you. I never thought I could love another man, much less two, and you’re the one that made me see all that. So thank you.” 

“…I never loved someone before you, and now I feel like I have all the love in the world, so thank YOU,” Bucky said, moving his hand so it was against Steve’s chest, running his fingers over it, feeling the tension of carrying him in his husband’s muscles. “I love you so much, Steve…” 

“And I love you with all my heart,” Steve gave Bucky a squeeze, glad that they were nearing the road finally. He’d definitely got his workout for the day, he’d have to carry Bucky around more, though hopefully not with an extra sixty pounds on him. “How are you doing, baby? You holding in for me?” 

“It’s happening again…Steve! Oh fuck, it’s closer! It’s a lot closer!” Bucky gritted his teeth, softly screaming through them as his hand tightened on Steve, his knuckles turning white. “It’s so much worse…oh god, I can’t do this…”

“Yes you can, you can do this. Do you want me to put you down? What do you want me to do?” Steve asked frantically, though he started to walk faster so they could get into the car sooner. “Anything you want, let me help you.” 

“I don’t…oh god, Steve, it’s not stopping…” Bucky whimpered, his back feeling like someone had buried an axe in it, not sure if he wanted something to support it, or if he wanted Steve to keep carrying him the way he was. “Oh god, help me, please…” 

“What’s going on?” Tony asked, pulling up beside them with his window open, looking concerned at the change of pace. 

“He’s having another one and it’s bad, I don’t know what to do, it’s not stopping,” Steve said, holding Bucky close, wishing he remembered something out of everything he’d read. “The road is fine here, we’re almost at the road, I’m going to put him back in.” 

“I can get down, I don’t want to sit with my back against anything. Can I ride into town just lying on Steve?” Bucky asked, leaning against Steve, breathing hard as the contraction finally left. 

“…just…sit up fast and put your belt on if the cops pull us over,” Tony said, figuring he’d rather have Bucky do what he want than trap him in an uncomfortable position. 

“Thank you,” Bucky said, getting into the car and pushing his bucket down on the floor as Steve got in from the other side. Lying down on the seat, he rested his head in Steve’s lap as Tony began to drive again. 

“How are you doing, Buck?” Tony asked, remembering what they were talking about earlier and hoping that Bucky was less afraid now. Honestly, he couldn’t imagine what would be going through Bucky’s head, he could barely think with what was going through his own. 

“I want to go home,” Bucky whimpered, holding his stomach and breathing slowly. He’d only been to town once since they moved to Dawson City, and he’d hid in the car the whole time. “I just want to be with you two, I don’t want to do this with anyone else. I just want to go home with you.” 

“If things were different, we’d have kept you there and have the doctor come to us,” Steve said as he rubbed Bucky’s arm, looking down at him and feeling genuinely guilty this birth couldn’t go the way Bucky wanted it to. “There has to be a doctor and someone to help knock you out so you don’t feel her cutting into you. There’s no way you could deal with that if you stayed awake.” 

“You can do this, Bucky, you know Dr. Marner now, and I’ve met Dr. Graham, you’ll like her too. And we’re not going to leave your side for a second, at least one of us will be with you all the time,” Tony said, figuring that was a promise that they’d be able to keep. He could see the town now, they were almost there, and the reality of everything was growing by the second. “You never have to do this again if you don’t want to.” 

“…I never said that,” Bucky said softly, closing his eyes as he felt the car slow down as they entered town. “Just…give me time.” 

“We can talk about that later, I don’t think you want to think about that right now,” Steve said as Tony pulled up in front of the small hospital, already seeing the car they’d rented for Dr. Marner. “Bucky, remember that red, yellow, and green light system we tried before? You have to let us know where you are now so we can try to help you. How are you feeling right now?” 

“Y-yellow I think…” Bucky said as he sat up, watching as Tony walked over to his door to open it. “Like…if orange was an option, I’d say orange.” 

“You’re going to get to go to sleep soon, and when you wake up, the twin will be here and hopefully you can go home soon,” Steve said, though he knew this was major surgery and Bucky might need more care after than he and Tony could provide. “We just have to get you inside, baby, can you do that?” 

Bucky looked at Steve worriedly for a moment before he nodded slowly, getting out of the car once he couldn’t see anyone else out on the streets. Taking Tony by the hand, still holding his bucket in the other, he walked inside the clinic, trembling all over as his eyes darted around. 

“Easy, easy…” Tony led Bucky inside the clinic as Steve, carrying the bag, went to talk to the secretary for a moment before they were directed through the door and down a hallway. Keeping a tight hold on his young husband, they walked to the end of the hall and took a right to a small waiting room. “Have a seat, Buck, I don’t think we’ll be waiting here long.”

“It’s happening again…” Bucky whimpered before he could get in the chair, holding onto Tony tightly as he struggled to breathe through it, holding his bucket up closer to his face in case he had to use it. 

“We’re here, Bucky, they’re getting things ready in there, and you’re going to go to sleep and wake up so fast, it’s going to feel like no time passed at all,” Steve reassured him, taking a seat and gently tugging Bucky over to sit in his lap so he could rub his back again. “I had my tonsils out when I was nine, I was really scared to be knocked out, but it was pretty easy, so don’t worry about that part, okay?” 

“I’ll try not to,” Bucky panted, clutching his bucket and Tony’s hand, wishing he could do something, anything, to escape the pain. When it finally eased up again, he let out a relieved sigh, his body relaxing against Steve. 

“Bucky?” Dr. Marner said as she stepped out of the room, holding the door open behind her. “How are you doing, dear? Are you ready to come back here?” 

“What colour are you at, Buck?” Steve asked, not wanting to rush Bucky in if he needed more time to build up his courage, though he didn’t want Bucky to have to go through pain because they were delaying things. 

“I don’t even know…” Bucky wept brokenly, staring at the doctor and the operating room behind her with fear in his eyes. “I don’t know. I don’t know.” 

“Breathe slowly, you’re hyperventilating a bit there, you have to calm down,” Tony said, looking at the doctor, whose expression read concern for Bucky. “If you wait, there are going to be more contractions, they’re four minutes apart now, and they’re lasting longer.” 

Bucky’s mouth opened for a moment, not wiping the tears flowing down his face. Looking at both of his husbands, and finally the doctor, he slowly got to his feet, shaking all over as the tears flowed faster. “…okay…” he whispered, nodding slowly. “Okay I’m ready…” 

“You’re going to do so well, Bucky. I’m so proud of you,” Standing up, Steve took the bucket from Bucky, setting it on the chair behind him so he could take his hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. “You’re amazing, and we’re going to be right there. Our family is going to be perfect. I love you all so much already.”

“I know you will,” Bucky said, a small worried smile crossing his face, sniffing back tears. “So much is going to change so fast. You know, when we leave this room, we’re going to be fathers.” 

“The best ones out there,” Tony said, lacing his fingers together with Bucky’s, kissing his forehead before leaning over to press one to Steve’s cheek as well. “I’m with Steve, I love you four with everything in me.” 

“I love you too, I love you all, I can’t believe I’m here with you now and that this is real. This is everything I ever wanted…” Bucky said, closing his eyes for a moment as Steve and Tony gave his hands another squeeze, looking at Dr. Marner, and giving her a little nod. “Let’s go…” 

Taking one last moment to share a kiss, the men took a deep breath, the steps from the chairs to the operating room seeming a mile long as the doors closed behind them for their last moments as just the three of them. Right now, everything was about to change, their little house was going to get a lot more crowded, and their nights a lot less peaceful. 

And they were ready for it.


	16. The Stark-Rogers Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The babies are here, and what will the future hold for the family?

When Bucky’s eyes began to open, he didn’t know where he was for a moment, feeling like he was lost in a dream still. He felt like he was drifting, like he was in a gigantic warm bath, feeling supported but weightless at the same time. Blinking, he looked up at the ceiling, a flash of panic hitting him when he realized he didn’t know where he was, which only grew when he realized he couldn’t feel his body. Weakly, he moved to push himself up off the bed, jumping a little when he felt a hand close on his wrist. 

“Don’t try to get up, Bucky,” Steve said, still wearing scrubs, his voice gentle but firm as Bucky’s heart rate started to raise. “Baby, remember you came to have the twins, do you remember that? You did it.” 

Bucky turned his head to the right, looking at Steve sitting with a swaddled baby in his other arm, and it all came back to him fast. He was in the clinic, he’d been put out to have his children, and now he was awake and looking at one of them. “…are they okay?” 

“They’re fine,” Tony said from his other side, also still in the scrubs, standing up with the other twin in his arm, reaching down to take Bucky’s hand. “You did great, Bucky, there weren’t any problems with you or them.” 

“…can I hold them?” Bucky asked, looking back and forth between Tony and Steve, desperate to see his babies now that he was awake and clear headed enough to know what had happened. 

“One at a time we can lie them down on the bed beside you, but you’re not well enough to sit up and hold them quite yet,” Steve said, getting to his feet as Bucky adjusted himself as much as he could in bed to give the baby room. Once a spot was clear, Steve dragged the chair over with his heel to sit down close to the bed, putting the baby down with Bucky. “Bucky, this is your daughter, Gwendolyn Maria Stark-Rogers, she was five pounds and twelve ounces, and she came out first.” 

“She’s…she’s really pink,” Bucky said, looking her over in awe, pushing back her little hat to look at her thin blonde hair. “She’s beautiful, she’s really…” Emotion was hitting him hard, though this time his tears were from bing happier than he’d ever been in his entire life. “I get to be her father…”

“You do, Pops,” Steve grinned widely, reaching to touch Bucky’s cheek, then his daughter’s. “We think she looks like a blonde you, but we’ll see what happens when she grows a bit.”

“Holy shit…” Bucky burst into laughs, his head still swimming, but he couldn’t stop looking at his tiny baby girl. “Our little Gwen…”

“You should have heard her when she was born, she was loud. We’re definitely going to know when she wants something,” Tony chuckled himself, beyond thrilled that Bucky seemed more wrapped up in seeing his children than in worrying that they weren’t at home. “She calmed right down for her Daddy, though.” 

“She just wanted to be held, I’m not the baby whisperer,” Steve said, looking at Bucky, who hadn’t taken his eyes off her. “Do you want a little water or anything? They said you might be nauseous, but they put stuff in your IV.” 

“No, I’m okay...” Bucky said, letting Gwen take his finger, watching in awe as she gripped it. “When were they born? How long ago?” 

“You’ve only missed an hour of their life, don’t worry, you were having a little trouble waking up after the anesthetic,” Tony smiled, reaching to pet Bucky’s hair. “Do you want to say hello to your son?” 

“Yes, not that I want Gwen gone but…I really want to see him too,” Bucky said, watching as Steve took Gwen back into his arms, though the spot wasn’t empty for long before the smaller baby was placed beside him. 

“Peter Joseph came in at four pounds and three ounces, so he’s a lot smaller than his sister, and a lot quieter,” Tony said, watching Bucky pull the baby closer. “Gwen and Peter are here, baby, what do you think about that?” 

Bucky shook his head a little, crying hard as he pressed a kiss to Peter’s head on top of his black locks. “Thank you…” he wept, nuzzling his son and breathing him in. “Thank you for not taking them away from me…” 

“I would have never, ever done that to you,” Tony said, still stroking Bucky’s hair, his thumb moving down to catch some of the tears from his eyes. He knew that Bucky trusted and loved him, but he could still understand that lifelong fear residing in the darkest spots of Bucky’s mind still. “They need their Pops as much as they need their Papa and their Daddy.” 

“I’m going to do everything for them,” Bucky sniffed, taking a shaky breath as Peter opened his dark eyes a little, looking back at him. “I used to imagine my parents, but I didn’t know what they were like at all so I kind of pieced together parents from the movies I watched. I dreamed that they were really funny, and that they loved doing things with me, like playing sports or reading or art projects. So when I had to go on the workout bike alone, I’d imagine that one of them was running with me and holding the back, or if I watched something I’d talk to them...” Bucky felt the ache of that loneliness in his chest, like an old wound that just wouldn’t heal. 

“I would have given anything for your life before us to be different,” Tony said sadly, hating to hear how Bucky had suffered under his father, though he would never tell him how much it hurt him. He didn’t want Bucky to bottle everything up. “I’m so sorry, Bucky, I’m sorry for everything he did to you, I’ll never be able to apologize enough.” 

“You don’t owe me anything, Tony, you already give me everything,” Bucky said, holding Peter close, watching his expression change as he looked up at his young father. “…can we go home?” 

“They want to watch you longer, then I’ll carry you out to the car when they say it’s okay. We might have to stay a while though, is that okay?” Steve asked, having already spoken to the doctor about how soon they could leave on Bucky’s behalf. 

“I’m okay right now, I think I’m too tired to really think about where I am,” Bucky said, though there was some tension in his voice. “Did you take pictures of them yet?” 

“Tons. We got pictures of them being weighted and cleaned up,” Steve said, sitting up with pride and a smile. “I’ve already sent pictures to Sam and Peggy, they send their congratulations and they can’t believe how cute they are.” 

“Do you want us to take a picture of you with them?” Tony offered, reaching into his pocket for his phone and turning the camera on. 

“Yeah, but…both of them…” Bucky said, looking up at Steve again as he tried to move over a bit more. 

“Okay, I think we can fit her there, just let me…” Steve carefully adjusted Peter so he was closer to Bucky before putting Gwen next to him. “There we go, it’s a good thing they’re small.” 

“They’re so cute. I think Peter looks like Tony,” Bucky laughed a little, just smiling down on the babies as Tony snapped some pictures, in absolute awe of how perfect they were. “I would do it all again for them.” 

“Maybe you can one day, but right now two babies are plenty, so we’re going to be using birth control for when you feel up to that again,” Steve said, unable to stop looking at his two husbands and the pure happiness in their eyes as they watched the babies. “You don’t have to jump right back to that, I know you’re sore and tired.” 

“Are you kidding? That’s the most fun thing we do, of course I want to have sex again,” Bucky said, blushing when both of his husbands burst out laughing. “Shut up, both of you.” 

“I promise, as soon as the doctor gives you the all clear, we’ll get right back to fucking like bunnies,” Tony laughed, absolutely delighted to see Bucky in a good mood considering he was still away from home. It wasn’t anything he was about to point out now, he didn’t want to give Bucky anxiety, but he’d have to mention it to him later when they were in bed. 

“How are you, Buck?” Steve asked, his heart swelling with love every second he watched Bucky and their children, seeing a look on Bucky’s face that he could only describe as pure contentment. 

“Happy,” Bucky answered back, his eyes not leaving his babies. “Green.” 

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Hey parents, look what I can do!” 

“That’s never a sentence you want to hear,” Tony said as he sat out back his newly remodelled home with his husbands, a beer in one hand and a handful of almonds in the other. “Peter, you’re supposed to hang off those, not climb on top of them. You too, Gwen, that’s a roof.” 

“But we can do it!” Gwen protested as she climbed down with a pout, going down the slide and walking over to them to plead her case. 

“And I can drive the car into the lake, but is it a good idea?” Tony asked, popping an almond into his mouth. “Climb the tree if you want to climb something.”

“That’s not fun any more,” Peter said, hanging off the jungle gym by his knees. 

“We need to get them something they can safely climb on,” Steve said, getting up with a sigh. “Maybe one of those climbing walls, but with the helmets and ropes and that. We have to do something before one of them breaks something again. Penny! Penny, stop that!” 

“No!” Penny giggled, piling more sand on her head in a typical three year old fashion. 

“She’s just going to do it more because she knows you don’t want her to,” Bucky said, drinking an orange juice, his hand on his very round stomach. “Let’s just hope Benjamin is less contrary.” 

“I think he’d be a hard pressed to be moreso,” Steve said, trying to brush all the dirt from his laughing daughter’s head. “Tony, this one is you’re doing, I swear.” 

“Oh probably,” Tony laughed, finishing off his almonds and getting to his feet, holding his arms out to pick Penny up. “You’re going to drive your Daddy crazy if you keep doing that, and people will think we don’t look after you if you’re always covered in dirt.” 

“Papa?” Penny asked, looking completely innocent before she extended a little hand full of dirt, depositing it on top of his head. “You dirty.” 

“I should have seen that coming,” Tony said as both Bucky and Steve burst out laughing. “Ha ha, both of you. Let’s see who wakes up covered in dirt tonight.” 

“If you put dirt in the bed, I will kill you!” Steve said, though he couldn’t stop chuckling staring at Tony, shaking his head. “Just let her make a mess of herself, that’s what the hose is for.” 

“I never thought that I would get to the point of my life where I’d live in a house in the middle of nowhere Canada with a hose that we put in specifically for my third child. Not even in my nightmare scenario where I’ve lost everything,” Tony said with a false pained sigh, turning to look back at Bucky, who’d been joined by Steve again. “We could be living in the top cities in the world, in a mansion, with a team of nannies and housekeepers, you both know that, right?” 

“I don’t know, what do you think about that, Buck?” Steve asked, raising an eyebrow as he took a drink of his beer. 

“Yeah, I don’t think so,” Bucky leaned back, taking a drink of orange juice, keeping a completely straight face. On the occasions they had to return to the Stark mansion, he coped with their time there, but he was much more at home when they were back in Dawson City. “Steve, can you give me a ride into town later? I want to grab some ice cream. And a pizza.” 

“I thought you wanted pork chops for supper,” Tony said as he half watched the twins, half returned to his lounge chair and beer. 

“Oh…yeah, I guess we can get some for the family, I just wanted a snack,” Bucky laughed, finishing off his orange juice, and reaching into the cooler beside him for a bottle of water. “I’m going to regret this, I don’t want to get up and go to the bathroom.” 

“One more month, baby,” Steve reached over, rubbing his arm and giving it a squeeze. 

“One month and I’m done,” Bucky said emphatically, taking a drink out of water and setting it down before he shook his head. “No more.” 

“You say that every time,” Tony pointed out, looking over at Bucky, reaching for his can of almonds again. Something about Bucky being pregnant made him hungry, something about a sympathetic pregnancy. Hopefully he wouldn’t gain as much weight this time around. 

“I mean it this time,” Bucky said as he crossed his arms on top of his stomach. 

“You literally said that up until eight months ago and then it was all baby this and baby that, and here we are,” Tony reminded him, but he only got an annoyed look in return. “Look, if you’re really done, we can get your tubes tied and you’ll be done with birth control.” 

“….no,” Bucky said, picking up his water again as he slumped in his chair a bit, looking grumpy as Tony picked up his phone and typed something, Steve’s phone going off a second later. “Did that say ‘told you’? Give me that.” 

“No, it’s a sports score,” Tony said, pocketing his own phone. “We shouldn’t use phones, it’s impolite.”

“You could have at least come up with a plausible lie,” Bucky sighed, looking at Steve, who was struggling not to look as amused as he was. “Did he say that?” 

“Oh wow, look at the kids,” Steve said, pointing over at Penny, who was chasing her older siblings with Laika in tow. “Seriously though, Bucky, you know you want more, and you know we’re on this ride for as many as you want to give us. We’re not going to pressure you.” 

“I know, it’s j-“ Bucky began when the baby monitor went off beside him. Looking over at the screen, he saw their sixteen month old son trying to get out of his crib, grunting. “Eddie’s trying to escape, you better go get him.” 

“I’ll go get him,” Tony said, disappearing into the house, going upstairs to change their current youngest son into something more outdoorsy.

“You know the best part of of having two husbands?” Bucky asked Steve after a few minutes of peace, though his eyes were firmly on the children now as they worked on what looked like a sand airport with their toys. “Other than the obvious that you both keep me incredibly satisfied as shown by the fact that I’m pregnant for the fifth time in five years?” 

“Hm, I don’t know, what else are we good at?” Steve laughed, watching as Peter ran over, eyeing Bucky’s water before his father gave him the bottle and he ran off again. “He’s going to dump that on Penny’s head, you know.” 

“That is for DRINKING, not SISTERS HEADS!” Bucky called over just as Peter began to undo the cap, innocently drinking from it instead. 

“What’s going on out here? Can Eddie play with them or are they going to bury him or something?” Tony asked, carrying a very squirmy toddler who wanted to go play with his siblings and the dog. 

“Go ahead, Peter was going to soak Penny, but he knows we’re watching him now,” Steve said, pulling out a bottle of water, figuring he would stay off the beer until they got home from town later. “Are you good to watch the kids when I run Bucky into town? We can take the twins.” 

“Nah, you two can have a grocery store date, take your time,” Tony said, though he was already trying to think of a good activity to contain the four of them from making a disastrous mess. “Papa’s got this.” 

“Thank you,” Bucky said, chuckling a little as he watched Eddie looking between the sand airport and Laika lying on her back, going straight for the dog. “I bet the kids would have loved the old road before you got it fixed.” 

“I know they would have, they love potholes,” Tony said, walking back over to the lounge chairs, sitting back in his own. “We’ll take them for a drive one day after Benjamin comes, find a shitty road, make an afternoon of it. There’s tons of them around here. Maybe you shouldn’t come with your car sickness though, baby.” 

“I’ll take an afternoon at home with just me and Benjamin, we can lie in bed and sleep,” Bucky said, not sorry to be left out of this particular family trip. “Don’t wreck the van trying to be cool.” 

“Like we can’t afford a new van,” Tony joked, though he would take Bucky seriously, and he was pretty sure his husband knew that. 

“So what were you going to say, baby?” Steve asked, looking at Bucky, then over his head to Tony on his other side. “He said he was going to tell me what the best thing about having two husbands is.” 

“Is it all the sex?” Tony took a sip of his beer, winking at Bucky, who burst into laughter. 

“No, he says it’s not the baby making, but I think that’s got to be a close second, I mean…” Steve laughed as well, not feeling bad for making Bucky blush bright red. “So what is it, Buck?” 

Bucky opened his mouth, looking between them, and past them to their children who were all playing together peacefully for once. Around him was their home, in the middle of nowhere, though no one ever complained even though he knew it was with him in mind. In that moment, there was silence, except for the sound of the wind in the trees and a bird in the distance, and everything seemed so perfect that it couldn’t be real. 

“…how you always put me in the middle,” Bucky said, a little smile on his lips as he looked down at his hand on his stomach, and the braided gold ring on his finger. “In bed, on the couch, out here, I’m always in the middle, and I know you say you both just like having me close but…I know it’s because you want to surround me with love. You’ve even taught the kids, they tell me they love me constantly, almost as much as you do and…and I want to thank you because I don’t know how I survived without love before.” 

Steve and Tony smiled, putting down their drinks and reaching out to take both of Bucky’s hands, squeezing them. 

“You got us, baby,” Tony said, bringing Bucky’s knuckles up to his lip. “Think we came up with that one the first night we were together.”

“We’re just glad it works,” Steve squeezed Bucky’s metal hand, pressing it against his own cheek. 

Staring at his husbands, his heart growing in his chest, Bucky felt the ghosts of his past getting fainter, their cold hands letting him go as the warm sun beamed down on everything he had in the world. 

“It does,” Bucky whispered, smiling more as tears pricked the corners of his eyes. “It really does.”


End file.
